If you want to have a healthy relationship with the person that you love, it can be frustrating to accomplish if you have never had an example to guide you. For example, if you came from a home where your parents didn't have a healthy relationship, you have no example to go by; so how can you ever have the chance at creating a healthy relationship? If you're curious about this, here are a few key points of a healthy relationship which were gathered from interviews with people who had been married for 30 years or more.
Open Communication
Great relationships always have open communication where each person feels safe to express what they are thinking or feeling without fear of being judged by the other person. The communication is consistent and both parties are always committed to understanding the other person and working on synergistic solutions to problems.
Friendship
Attraction and chemistry are great, but they come and go. The beauty of friendship is that it persists even when things aren't going well. A friend is someone who you can count on to be there when things don't make sense and who you can laugh with and even be a bit of a kid with. When you see a healthy couple together, you'll notice that they behave themselves the way that friends would, while having the component of love and romance as well.
Transparency
Since healthy relationships allow people to be themselves and to communicate without fear of judgment, the partners are completely transparent with one another. This means that they're both free to be who they are without fear of "not being good enough" or of being judged by one another. Transparency also means that each partner is open and genuine about their needs, their dreams, their fears, their desires and their concerns.
Trust
The most important difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one is that healthy relationships are rich with trust, and unhealthy ones are almost completely devoid of trust. Trust is what makes it possible for open communication, transparency and friendship to work. Trust cultivates safety and understanding which provides a healthy environment for each person to be themselves and to give AND receive genuine love.
Graciousness
People who have healthy relationships are playful with one another and have a lot of fun when they are together. Laughter is one of the greatest blessings of life, and it's a wonderful thing to be able to share with the person who you are with. It makes it easier to get through difficult times and it makes the good times even greater.
And all of these things are made possible because of the final characteristic of healthy relationships.
Common Values
A romantic relationship (especially a marriage) requires you to have common values with your partner. This means that your priorities and your moral compasses are in harmony and that you make important decisions according to the same criteria. Without common values, couples will not parent their children in agreement, manage money in agreement or agree on how they should make the most important decisions about their future. But with common values, you can plan for the future and manage your relationship according to the desire to achieve the same goals and to fight the same battles as allies instead of fighting one another.
So now that you know what to look for, the most important thing for you to do is work on becoming the kind of person who YOU must become in order to have a partner who will help you to build a healthy relationship.
Creating Prosperity, Serenity, and Balance in your Life. If achieving balance in your health, your relationships, and your finances is truly your goal on your journey to achieving your ideal state of who you want to be. New Self New World touches on some beautiful truths and principles of self improvement and personal growth that anyone can use no matter what walk of life or profession.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=William_S._Wells
LOVE BEGINS AGAIN - VIA ACTS OF INTIMACY
Being 'in love' is not the same as that 'act' of love, which is something that bears itself positively over the moment. This is the toughest challenge for any couple; each day and moment a fresh beginning of love via acts of intimacy.
Occurring predictably as a selfless act, joining to itself with other selfless acts, it is faithful, is love - the action. We're reminded serially; this love bite never infects us sufficiently that are summarily won to it. We so often fail love - to act in love.
Love, the act, is simple and plain,
Controlling it however makes us staid,
Beyond us it seems our life's gain,
Love does elude at times to raid.
Love comes and goes and then it returns,
Why it does this only God knows,
Whilst it's here with passion the heart burns,
Somehow in it our love grows.
Love begins again as if but to start,
It travels in kindness and gathers in pace,
Reminding us now we're not apart,
Each other together again running life's race.
Love is intimacy, parallel and true,
The gate of which is in good state,
Trustworthy, reliant beyond the blue,
However we are good is our mate.
The act of love is brilliance, securing devotees left, right and centre. We glimpse this as we get it right, for often we're failing, which is but a reminder from the Spirit which owns this thing that we're not 'there' yet. It's a safe, productive reminder.
A Charter of Intent
The growth of relational love occurs necessarily slowly. Like organisational culture changes, changes-at-love occur at a rate hardly visible. We scarcely fall for the trick, then, to place inordinate pressure on ourselves or our partners. Patience ushers and nurtures love.
Intent: it's all about intent.
The Cradle of Intimacy
Does anything build or characterise intimacy better than the simple well-meant act of love? And it's intimacy that finds its home most of all in love... intimacy of trust, of comfort, of faithfulness and unity. Of the triangle of love (passion, intimacy and commitment) it is perhaps intimacy that buoys love most reliably, gentling its presence warmly.
The cradle of intimacy is the proactive way of assuring relationships beyond the strains that assert themselves over the haggard seasons many couples and partnerships endure generally.
This one quality of love is best at ensuring that our 're-beginnings of love' are not so sharply felt; that there's a smooth flow of love resplendent through all the relationship's days.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.
Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com/.
Occurring predictably as a selfless act, joining to itself with other selfless acts, it is faithful, is love - the action. We're reminded serially; this love bite never infects us sufficiently that are summarily won to it. We so often fail love - to act in love.
Love, the act, is simple and plain,
Controlling it however makes us staid,
Beyond us it seems our life's gain,
Love does elude at times to raid.
Love comes and goes and then it returns,
Why it does this only God knows,
Whilst it's here with passion the heart burns,
Somehow in it our love grows.
Love begins again as if but to start,
It travels in kindness and gathers in pace,
Reminding us now we're not apart,
Each other together again running life's race.
Love is intimacy, parallel and true,
The gate of which is in good state,
Trustworthy, reliant beyond the blue,
However we are good is our mate.
The act of love is brilliance, securing devotees left, right and centre. We glimpse this as we get it right, for often we're failing, which is but a reminder from the Spirit which owns this thing that we're not 'there' yet. It's a safe, productive reminder.
A Charter of Intent
The growth of relational love occurs necessarily slowly. Like organisational culture changes, changes-at-love occur at a rate hardly visible. We scarcely fall for the trick, then, to place inordinate pressure on ourselves or our partners. Patience ushers and nurtures love.
Intent: it's all about intent.
The Cradle of Intimacy
Does anything build or characterise intimacy better than the simple well-meant act of love? And it's intimacy that finds its home most of all in love... intimacy of trust, of comfort, of faithfulness and unity. Of the triangle of love (passion, intimacy and commitment) it is perhaps intimacy that buoys love most reliably, gentling its presence warmly.
The cradle of intimacy is the proactive way of assuring relationships beyond the strains that assert themselves over the haggard seasons many couples and partnerships endure generally.
This one quality of love is best at ensuring that our 're-beginnings of love' are not so sharply felt; that there's a smooth flow of love resplendent through all the relationship's days.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.
Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com/.
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