The 5 Love Languages

I am glad that I read the 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman before I got married. I grew up watching my parents always at loggerheads. When I had read this book, I realised that both of them spoke very different love languages. My mother wanted a very loving and caring man who would speak kind words, give her presents and help her with her chores. My father wanted to hear praises and encouraging words when he came back home from work. Neither of them have got what they have wanted despite being married for almost 54 years.

After two breakups, I realised that I had to read some self-improvement books. I am glad I came across the 5 Love Languages'.

Words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch are the 5 love languages.

I first analysed what my love languages were upon reading this book. I found that I wanted kind words, physical touch and quality time. These were the aspects that would fill my love tank. Soon after, I met my husband. We courted for two years but it wasn't smooth sailing all the time. He needed words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch to fill his love tank.

We both knew what we wanted. Knowing what we wanted wasn't enough. It was vital to know what we were giving. What did we always give to fill our partner's tanks? Did we give the love language our partner wanted?

I was giving him quality time, physical touch and gifts. However, I was spending too much time with him and he actually started feeling claustrophobic. He wanted some space. He loved the physical touch. However, he wasn't very comfortable taking gifts often. I wasn't big on acts of service and he definitely wanted more of this.

Words of affirmation weren't one of his strengths to my disappointment. I needed to hear sweet nothings and words of assurance. I remember asking him once if he wanted me to go over to his house to spend the evening with him. His answer was if you want.' I was shocked and reduced to tears. I was happy with the physical touch I was getting from him. I wanted to spend as much time with him but he obviously didn't want to spend 24/7 with me. I was insulted when he told me that he needed space sometimes. He was generous with his acts of service. He was more than happy to give me lifts, cook and clean. However, this wasn't the most important thing to me.

Gosh! This wasn't easy. The first 3 months of our relationship was the most challenging period as we kept communicating different love languages. At 35, I was more mature to realise that a relationship was something that required effort at times. Fortunately, I was wise enough to stay in it and put into practice the knowledge I had gained from the books I had read.

I communicated to him that his lack of words of affirmation and brusque manner weren't helping me. I knew that he had lots of qualities that I had wanted in a man. Having said that, my love tank needed to be filled adequately.

Although it was more difficult for him to communicate what he wanted in this relationship, he slowly started opening up.

We have been married for 3 years now. I can safely say that both of us have made changes to our love languages to accommodate each other.

It's not always easy for him to whisper sweet nothings into my ears but he tries. When he does, I express my appreciation for it. I also make it a point to thank him once in a while for his languages which aren't very important to me like acts of service.

Likewise, I have started paying more attention to doing chores around the house and other acts of service which are important to him. At least once a week, I allow him to have the house all to himself. This is my way of giving him space.

Knowing that we have made these changes to fill each others' love tanks gives us hope and we know that we can adjust or change our love languages if necessary.

The 5 Love Languages has certainly made a very powerful impact in our marriage. The knowledge from this book has given us three beautiful years together in marriage. We are parents to a beautiful daughter now. From time to time, we communicate to each other if our love tanks aren't as full. We love each other very much and definitely make an effort to use the correct love language to fill up each others' love tanks.
The writer is the author of the book. Find love through the law of attraction. She met her husband through the law of attraction and gives an account of it in this book.

Why Don't You Feel Loved, Loving and Lovable?

We talk about the Father's love, seek it, want to be enveloped in it, and spread it around. But, so seldom do we feel it with our senses and most of the time we tend to feel unworthy of His love. How can you really know if and when God loves you?

There are days when you really feel great and extraordinary things are happening. You're on top of the world and know that it is God showering you with His love. Then there are lots of times when discouragement sets in. You do and say things that make you feel small and not deserving of His, or anyone else's love.

Those are the times that you need to refresh yourself in the Word and remember that the Father loves you as much as He loves Jesus! (John 17: 22 - 26)

Do you know Jesus? Do you realize that you can ask Him to direct your life? "Whoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him, and he in God... God is love; and he that dwells in love dwells in God, and God in him." (1 John 4: 15 - 16)

The Father draws you to Jesus, (John 6: 44) and Jesus in turn reveals the Father, as He is the only One who knows the Father. (Mat. 11: 27) He loves you so much that He sent Jesus not only to pay the price for your sins, but also to give you the Holy Spirit.

It is one thing to know and understand these verses. Most of us have memorized, heard and read them many times before. However, at times of discouragement and trials you need fresh manna from heaven. That's when you need to have a revelation that He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is not up there in heavens far removed and unable to hear your cries.

Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus lives inside you and together you are hid in God. In fact:

"You are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God." (Col. 3: 3)

Thank you, Father, for sending Jesus, and hiding me with Him in you! What an awesome thought! Picture yourself hidden inside a huge snowball. Filled on the inside with the Holy Spirit, covered with the Blood of Jesus that washed you white as snow, and totally immersed in the Almighty!

This is awesome and worthy of deep reflection. Ask your heavenly Father to reveal His love to you. It is crucial to the development of your faith. If you think that He loves others more than you, or that He only loves you sometimes when you've been especially good, then your faith will yo-yo accordingly.

His love is a free gift - with no strings attached. There is nothing you can do to earn it. The more you develop that intimate relationship with Him, the more you will grow in His love, which will shine through you to others, and expand your faith.

No amount of tribulation, distress, persecution, famine or nakedness can take His love from you because through Him you are more than a conqueror! (Rom. 8: 35) Whatever the devil may have planned for evil in your life, God will turn to good because you love Him and are called by Him for His purpose. (Rom. 8: 24)

Tags : God's Love, God Loves You

Moments of love: Love will keep us alive

People who have experienced or even witnessed that moment of love, it is something that it is hard to forget. Loving someone deeply can be really heart melting and everything that runs in your life seems to be really great.
You stay positive at everything and when you feel that kind of love, its like its whats keeping you alive.
If you share intimate relationship with a person that you really love, stuff like holding hands, hugging or kissing can be an adventure.
Sometimes love can makes us feel more alive than ever. We let it control us, but sometimes too much would end up with a broken heart.
Don't expect anything like you will stay forever with that person, or even think that you will not end up together. If you expect it, then eventually things such as that might happen, or even happen in an opposite way.
Its nice to look forward to something, but don't expect too much because you might just get disappointed.
Just let the moment pass, and let everything worth remembering. Live your life with full of hope, faith and love. Without this, our soul will lack passion at everything we do.
Thats why sometimes the one we are with, or the one we love inspires us at everything we do. We are more keen at doing things because we know that someone supports for us and care for us.

Love do really keep us more alive, it makes life more interesting and adventurous. People may say that love hurts, well everything hurts for some reason but its not that always like that.
We also have special memories with the one we love but eventually if things don't work out, then life goes on. Its much better if you let things work out, and fight for your love with that person.
Its nice to have someone who inspires us with everything we do, everything we want to do, or even everything we need to do.
Life without love can be pretty normal, but life with love can be pretty amazing, it add more spice in your life, and make it worth living. Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

Love Bears the Load

"Love Bears the Load"

Love does a lot of heavy lifting. I was reading this morning about the amount the baby-boomer generation is sacrificing to care for sick and infirm parents and older relatives. In financial terms alone through forfeited income, early retirement, lowered pension and social security benefits, and out of pocket expenses the cost is quite significant, averaging in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. The article went on to describe the toll on the caregivers physically in some detail as well. Beyond the financial and physical cost is the emotional and psychological stress care giving exacts. But this is just one illustration of love's heavy lifting. There are countless others. That's because by its' nature love is giving. Love that is not prepared or willing to bear another's burden is not really love.

The Greek word "Steg", translated "Bear" in 1 Corinthians 13:7 ["Love bears all things"] also means "To roof over".

Love "roofs over". What might that mean? First of all, it indicates love must have structure. A roof doesn't just hang in the air. A roof is supported by structure, by walls. The walls take time to build, and love takes time to grow sturdy enough to "bear" another's burden. In construction the walls upon which the roof is set are referred to as "load bearing" walls. Our love must be of "load bearing" quality.

A little deeper digging reveals that the idea being expressed here by "Steg" is "to roof over with silence." Love bears by covering the one loved, even with silence when necessary. This harkens back to what we learned about love not being easily provoked, and not keeping score of wrongs suffered. Love that bears is ready to cover the shortcomings of the person loved. Love is also ready to not make an issue of not being reciprocated. That is another way love "roofs over"; treating others the way it would like to be treated, even when they don't.

A final sense of the word "Steg" is the idea that love "Bears up under". A person walking in love is prepared to bear up under pressures that will test that love, or stretch it. Forbearance and longsuffering are two essentials character qualities of the person walking in love.

Love is ready to carry the burden of another, "roof over" with silence another's short comings, or not being treated in kind, and "bear up under", the pressures against such love being displayed. It's quite a tall order fellow Mountain Taker. Aren't you glad we aren't on our own?! No wonder love is such a strong demonstration of the Kingdom of God. It's His nature displayed!

Loved? Loved.

Love is the greatest power in the universe, and it can also be the most powerful tool, when withheld from someone. Nothing can do more harm and cause more devastation then the power of love.

Loved? Loved. Is my 2 word story. For those of you who don't know what I mean by a 2 word story, I will explain.

On April 16, 2011, the EACH program was set into gear, with the Prayer Walk that was held in downtown Detroit Michigan. 25,000 people from about 500 churches, of all denominations, met in solidarity to pray for the city and pledge one million hours of community service to help those in need and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ.

EACH stands for Everyone a Chance to Hear. Hear the gospel of Jesus Christ, and part of this program is to come up with your story in just two words. You wear your two words on a t-shirt, button, or a hat, and pray as God will open the doors for people to ask you what those two words means on your shirt, and then you have the invitation to tell them your story of how you met Jesus Christ.

This is my story.

Loved? I was not, as a boy growing up. I was small and not very big, very shy and not assertive at all. I grew up in a home of verbal abuse. I was always told that I couldn't do anything and that I would just grow up to be a garbage man. If I ever did want to try something, I was told I couldn't do it because I was too small, or I would break it, or some other reason that my parents had in their arsenal of negative statements.

Words can kill, and I never was involved in any physical abuse, so I don't know what that's all about, but I do know that words can hurt and the scares can linger for a life time.

My view of God was some big guy in the heavens just waiting for me to slip up, and he couldn't wait to bring the hammer down on top of my head. He loved punishment and judgment, and since I couldn't do anything right, He was having a fun time with me.

Well, needless to say, these things all turned me into other avenues to find validation and love, and they were all the wrong ones. Drugs, alcohol, and women got me in a whole lot of trouble, and there were times, when I look back today, that I should have been dead. I used everyone and I hurt a lot of people.

When I was ten years old, I gave my life over to Jesus Christ, while watching a Billy Graham crusade on TV. My mother would always watch him and so we did as well. Something that he said just resonated with me and I got down on my knees before I went to bed, and asked God to come into my life and change me. I meant it with all my heart.

They sent me a copy of the gospel of John and I remember going through it but I don't think I read it all the way. I never told anyone what I did, and because we were catholic, I never had anyone to talk to about it.

Years later after I was married and my wife was expecting our first son, something happened.

I was working the night shift at one of the big three, and one of my party buddies, was going to day shift. He was my best friend and after being on the day shift for one year, he got bumped back to nights. Well I couldn't wait for me and him to get back to our party ways.

While he was gone, we used to go all the way up the stairs, to the top of the roof of the building, (a staircase that was only used by the skilled trade guys), to get high. But someone, we didn't know who, had put a picture of Jesus up there, and we used to use that picture as our code word. When we wanted to get high, we would go up to a guy and say," Do you want to go and see the Lord at lunch time?" He would know exactly what we meant.

Well when I say my friend after a year, I took him up to see the Lord. I figured we would start our reunion in the right way. Well, he had other plans.

He told me that he had become a follower of Jesus Christ and that he had put the picture of Jesus up because that's where him and his other Christians friends, from day shift, would go and have their bible study every day.

He told me all about Jesus dying on a cross to save me from my sins and that He really loved me, and would come into my life and change me.

I got down on my knees again and asked God to come into my life. My friend gave me a bible and I still have that bible sitting in my office.

I think God used my friend to complete what He used Billy Graham to start years before.

I learned that God wasn't waiting for me to mess up so He could punish me. He punished His son so that I could live. He loved me that much to pay that kind of price, just so I could be free. Nobody has ever loved me like that, and nobody ever can. Only God can do that.

Loved? was the word that I carried around my neck for some twenty years of my life. Now I have replaced it with a new word. Loved. He really does love me and loves me like no one else ever can.

Circumstances can change, people can change, and events can change, but His love for me and you will never change.

At His last meal with twelve of His closet friends, right before He went to the cross, He said this to them;

"No one has greater love than this -- that one lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends" John 15: 13-14
What's your 2 word story? Do you have a 2 word story?

Meaning Of Love. Love Is... Already Here.

The meaning of Love is the connection that we have, whether we realise it or not to every single being and mineral that is in the Universe. Some call this God, The universal life force. Not a man who sites judging us all, but a supporting power that runs through us.
Everything works better, the economy, communities, society in the broadest sense, when we realize that we are connected to all people, all animals and all forms of life. Not only that, we are also connected to all forms of energy. The energy of the Universe flows through rocks, water, the air, the sky, the planets above us and EVERYTHING else. And the connection must go both ways. It is a two-way cable that attaches us.
Life of form (and of the formless) springs from love the origin of life is love and life seeks love.
Our whole meaning of love and being is this love/life... life is sustained by love. Love sustained by life. The Universal Power is LOVE.
There is no single creature or living entity within this Universal Power that cannot know love or is devoid of love. Really. No matter how bad/good/evil man can be he is not without the love that would save him. Yet, why are so many suffering? We deny ourselves love by seeking the thing that is already inside us. Insanity or just a Universal truth?
If love is everywhere and everything, why is there this seeking for love? Why do we seek what we already are? When questions such as these start entering the human mind, then a spiritual journey has begun.
Searching for the meaning of love.
Maybe you came here seeking a definition of 'the meaning of love' for your homework, maybe a definition of love for your friends to share pictures of Unicorns and 'like' on FaceboOK. That is great, but before you leave to find a more palatable 'hollywood' meaning of love that is easier to digest. Think about this;
If you are seeking love in others, in things, in films, lovers, friendships and careers, then you are denying what you already are. Move away from this 'normal' way of thinking it is just another of the insanities that pervade our human consciousness and are totally and utterly meaningless.
There is one universal truth of love. That once we KNOW that we are love, and we accept that everybody and everything is love, then we are free to really love others in a more meaningful way. Now we can see what others are through non tinted spectacles. We can see who they really are. Wonderful creatures of the Universe.
OK, now we do not have to seek love FROM them much like a font, we can now choose our partners through other more loving criteria. You do not need to be with that guy because he is popular, you do not need to be with that girl because you think she is pretty, you can choose a partner that has these qualities, but also that allows you to be YOU. You can allow them to be THEM. So many times we seek the prefect partner, get them and then start to change them. To disassemble the person that we wanted the, to be.
There is a paradox here Love is the motivation behind our dreams, most of our actions and preoccupies nearly all our thoughts. People move across countries, strive for careers, seek unhealthy relationships, all because they want love and yet they already ARE love.
What are you looKing for in your life? Love. But since you ARE love, it is easier to say that the meaning of love is YOU.