Ways to Get Over from a Broken Heart

 "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." 
Sophocles

How does a broken heart occur? It occurs when a person has a low self esteem and has been let down by the high expectations they had. When a person gives another person total control of their happiness only to have that person leave later on, the pain that it causes can be devastating. When two people meet and one of the persons weaves their lives and future around the other, it can be horrible if that person fails to measure up to how they see them.

So how can you get over from a broken heart? There are five ways to do this.

Take Time Out – Remember that you need time to yourself as much as with someone. However, if the relationship has ended keep yourself out of their way. Until the pain of it all wears off, it’s best to not even be friends. Once you feel better, if you feel like doing being friends again, and then do so. When you are most susceptible is the best time to stay away from them.

Accept Blame – Remember that the end of a relationship is never one-sided. Yet, it’s easy to blame the person who broke up with you because you are hurting. However, the quicker you understand your part in the failed relationship, the less grief you end up having. Thus the healing process can begin through sympathy and consideration.

Love Yourself – How can you love anyone if you don’t first love yourself? Make sure you give yourself love at the time you need it most. That’s when you feel unattractive and not needed. Try to nurture yourself to heal that broken heart quicker and by doing this will make your mind stop thinking about your ex who cause the pain and put all its thoughts on you instead. Try to rebuild your sense of worth and your value.

Accept the Situation – Remember that relationships come and go. The cycle of pain and pleasure is a part life’s little lessons that everyone needs to go through to grow. Once you realize all this, then you get to the forgiveness process. Try to remember that with every positive, there is always a negative. Try to think of it this way: the love you have is to nurture you while the pain makes you grow to face the obstacles that head your way. If you have vengeance in your heart, you only prolong your agony. Try to learn those lives' lesion quickly so that you don’t miss the opportunity of someone more worthy of your time come along.

Move On – Give yourself the daily reminder that one instance does not gauge the rest of your survival. While one person thinks you are one thing, another person can totally think that’s negative. You are not any more invaluable than the person who dumped you. Look past the negatives and see the positive. Perhaps the relationship wasn’t worth being together in the first place though you probably can't see that during the initial breakup. Love yourself past their feelings. Who cares what they think in the end? Look straight ahead and move on. Forget the past but don’t forget to learn from your mistakes. In the end, you'll be glad you can overcome it.

If you want to get over from a broken heart, utilize these five steps to see you through the tough times and move on with your life now.

Are Kindness and Tenderness Signs of Weakness?

"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution."

~Kahlil Gibran



"If I cry in movies people will think I’m weak."

"If I’m kind, people will take advantage of me."

"If I'm gentle, people will see me as weak instead of powerful."

"Being emotional is a sign of weakness."

It is always sad to me when I hear people say this. I can easily identify with them, as I was also brought to believe that kindness, tenderness, and deep feelings were signs of weakness.

What is particularly sad to me is that the exact opposite is true.

Is it strength or weakness to have your heart open, rather than closed and protected against your fears of rejection?

Is it a sign of personal power or a sign of weakness when you put up walls of anger and judgment to protect yourself from being taken advantage of?

Inner strength is about knowing and valuing who you are - what is good and wonderful about you, what is true for you, what is in integrity for you. When you know these things about yourself, you no longer take rejection personally. You are no longer vulnerable to compromising yourself to please others. You can now keep your heart open to love, compassion, kindness and tenderness toward yourself and others because your fears of rejection and engulfment are gone.

This is strength. This is personal power.

When you have this inner strength, you can cry when you are moved without worrying about what anyone else will think, because you know that what they think of you is more about them than about you.

Weakness is about making others responsible for your sense of self-worth. Weakness stems from refusing to take responsibility for defining your own self-worth. Once you make others responsible for defining whether you are weak or strong, okay or not okay, competent or incompetent, worthy or unworthy, lovable or unlovable, then you have to constantly try to control what they think of you. That's when you might be afraid to cry when you are moved, or be kind and gentle with yourself or others, for fear of others' judgment of you.

Inner strength is about taking away others' authority to judge you and giving that authority to the only entity who actually has that authority - your own spiritual Guidance.

Twenty-five years ago I learned how to have a deep and consistent connection with my personal spiritual Guidance. This connection was so profound for me that I quickly understood that only my personal spiritual Guidance knows everything about me and can define my true Self and sense of worth.

Do you know how to have this connection? It's not as hard as you may think. I teach people every day to have this profound connection with their inner authority. It is this connection that gives you the strength to be kind, loving, compassionate and gentle without fearing rejection, judgment, or losing oneself through being controlled by another.

The key to having this profound connection is your intent. As long as your intent is to control what others think of you and to get love rather than to be loving, this connection will elude you. When you shift your intent from controlling/protecting/avoiding to learning about what is in your highest good and the highest good of all, you will discover the loving Guidance that is always here for you. This is the pathway to personal power - and to loving kindness.

Starting Over With Your Relationship - Get Your Love Back

 "Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused." 
 Paulo Coelho

When we sift through the rubble of a broken relationship, we're moved to take stock of what happened. Before starting over with your relationship, you should first know what went wrong in the first place.

Perhaps your life goals didn't match. Especially in the busy-busy 21st century, too many couples get so wrapped up in their career plans that they can't be flexible enough to accommodate a relationship. One wants top go to school at Berkeley and then work in Seattle, while the other wants to spend two years on a field mission in Cambodia and then go work in Austin, Texas. Every Internet relationships forum in the world is loaded with postings that read something along the lines of: "We tried to have a long-distance relationship, but it didn't work out."

Perhaps your relationship was eaten by stress. Here again, an outside force can have an impact on a relationship that was the fault of neither party. Relatives and in-laws could have made things tough on you. Financial problems could have gnawed away at your domestic happiness. Or one spouse had a career that was so demanding that it killed their marriage. You almost can't count how many times people in high-risk, high-pressure careers - police, paramedic, performing arts, legal careers - end up accumulating a string of divorces. It's hard for someone to understand you when you work twelve hour shifts in a hellhole and then come home grouchy and needing a drink before you can sleep.

Perhaps the relationship simply failed to meet one or both of your expectations. This was always the domain of those who were built up to marriage as this fairy-tale happily-ever-after scenario, where the reality is that most people don't get more attractive with age and most relationships don't go on forever in a cottage in the enchanted forest with singing squirrels and deer outside the window every morning.

And then there's the case where one or both people had an issue that broke you apart. Here goes infidelity, dishonesty, substance abuse, personality problems, and all the other usual complaints. But if you stop to think about it, even these issues are sometimes external. The old saying goes "be kind - everyone is fighting a battle, even if it doesn't show." The partner with an inferiority complex might have been raised by parents who were nasty-tempered and critical and they learned to internalize the abuse. The partner with the drug addiction might have been crying out for help and unable to face their problem.

Whatever the case may be, examining these details can help you in starting over with your relationship. Put your foot down, and set rules that this time you aren't going to let a mean, cold world spoil your love.

Strategies To Get Your Ex Back

"We are shaped and fashioned by those we love." 
Geothe​

One strategy is to find out what they wanted in a relationship in the first place. What do they really need to be happy? Some people, let's face it, want a bed doll and little more. Some people are only in relationships because they're afraid of dying alone. Some people are only married because they can't conceive of themselves as a single person; they were raised with the expectation that their sole objective in life is to breed and that's all they're going to do. These may sound like belittling reasons, but of course even if there's more to the story, it still boils down to that. Nobody wants to face this about themselves.

One of the all-time strategies to get your ex back is to give yourself a make-over. This isn't just a matter of a visit to a hair salon and a manicure; this is an inside-out makeover. Start with your attitude towards life and work out from there. Maybe you were too demanding of others, or too lazy to put the work into a relationship in order to keep it. Maybe you could be more thoughtful of other people. Maybe it's the other problem; you put yourself last all the time, and your ego and self-esteem are so low that you're making a doormat out of yourself.

Out of all the strategies to get your ex back, one of the most essential is to make time for yourself and your ex to find your relationship's heart again. Put the world on hold and focus on just you again. For instance, when's the last time you enjoyed just lying in bed talking all night? No TV, no Internet, no phone, shut everything else up. And just focus on each other. It's amazing how everybody does this at the beginning of a relationship and marvels at how close they've gotten, and yet nobody thinks to do this when their relationship is in trouble.

"How do you get your ex back?" Be on your best demeanor and make your ex remember what attracted them to you in the first place. They'll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you'll have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.
"It was not meant to be." Those are the words of resignation, but they aren't for you. As the late football great Vince Lombardi once said, "Show me a god loser and I'll show you a loser!" No, you're not going down without a fight, and you're not all that keen to go down in the first place, so you're looking for strategies to get your ex back.

How to Get a Guy to Like You - From the Very First Date

 "You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I LOVE YOU." UNKNOWN

There are 2 ways to understand how to get a guy to like you on your first date. The first way is to Ask Your Girlfriends, consult with your mother or aunt, or maybe read Cosmopolitan every week. The common thing about these sources - They all come from Women.

We women spend an amazing amount of time dissecting and analyzing every little aspect of relationships, men and life in general.

That, unfortunately, doesn't mean that we understand men better (than men).

The second way to know how to get a guy to want you is to Finally listen to what Men Are Saying... This may not be easy. We will hear things that we don't want to hear and we will have to accept things that may sound sexist and annoying. None the less - They will still be true!

If you ask your girlfriends or go through women's magazines, you will find that this is how to act on a first date:

1. Don't order pricy drinks or food.

2. Act like someone who will get along with his buddies

3. Don't wear anything too exposing and revealing and never use any curse words - so he knows he can introduce you to his mother.

4. Don't talk much and if possible don't talk at all - just listen.

I am sure you have heard this advice before, right?

While these tips can be good for some type of men, they are hardly the things that will affect his first impression of you (which of course is the most important one)

What's the Problem With Women-Tips for First Dates?

Most of the time, we women do not understand the purpose of a first date. We tend to focus on compatibility, attraction and how many relationship he had in his past. These are all important things, but not on a first date.

After a long research about how to get a guy to like you (and a lot on interrogation of the opposite sex), I have found these 3 simple rules to follow on your first date. They are all related to one thing: Concentrate on conveying your femininity.

Rule #1 - Wear a Dress

Men like women in dresses because dresses make you look soft, tender and it makes him want to cuddle you and protect you from the harms of the world.

Rule # 2 - Let Him Speak First

If you allow him to be the first one to speak on your first date will make him feel respected. Men like to feel respected even more than being loved. It's a fact of life and it is an ancient fact of life. It maybe annoying, but it's still true.

Rule #3 - Smile Often

Smiling at him often will simply make him feel attractive. It's so easy yet so true. Men want to feel attractive and this is an easy way to achieve that.

Follow these 3 simple rules and he will beg for a second date. Wait 2 more dates and then you can start to express yourself much more and let him know who you really are. By than he will be much more motivated to get to know you as a person.

After Infidelity: Make up or Break up?

"When love is not madness it is not love." UNKNOWN


An infidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one’s partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner’s trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of an infidelity. If you are married, an infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.

So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?

There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of an infidelity.

1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it’s a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.

2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.

3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.

After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don’t lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.

• Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you

• Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them

• Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal

• Cuts off all contact with the third party

• Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you

• Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened

• Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you

If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.

If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you. They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it’s probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.

After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner’s willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be careful and pay attention. Make the best decision for you.

Planning Your Wedding Reception

 "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lao-Tzu

When it comes to planning the wedding reception , it pays to know exactly what your budget is. The good news is that no matter what the size of your budget, large or small, there is a perfect reception venue available for everyone.

As a guide, your wedding budget should allocate 30% of the total to your reception. Where costs can really start to mount is in the smaller details such as decorations, rentals & outside catering. Here are some hints & tips to help you cut the cost of your reception food & drink, as well how to throw your reception on tight budget.

Renting a Hall

If you choose to rent a hall or large room for your reception, then there are several things that you will need to take in to account beforehand. For example there is the cost of hiring the room, using their servers (many will have them include in the price & may not be negotiable), then there is the cost of decorations, flowers, food & beverages.

With hiring a hall there are several things that you will have to pay for, such as decorations & beverage. But some hall venues will give you a range of options to pick & choose as you like.

Your choice of hall type will also have an impact on your budget. For example a grand banqueting hall will typically cost more than a community hall. Another consideration is if your budget is small to start with, then renting a hall could leave you with more effort & fewer options than booking a package with a different style of venue.

Here are some tips about renting a hall & keeping your costs down.

1. Halls should only be considered if you have 50 or more guests on your list.

2. Choose between an open bar or a cash bar for your reception, when renting a hall. An good alternative is to provide beer yourselves & have a cash bar for those want a mixed drink.

3. Choose a hall you can decorate yourselves.

4. If you need servers, then choose a hall that has them included in the price or one that will let you bring your own.

5. Make sure your choice of hall will cater to your needs & budget.

6. Avoid extra costs for catering & hire a hall that will let you supply your own food.

7. Save money on your catering with finger foods, vegetable & fruit trays. This will also cater to the vegetarians among your guests.

8. A casual style buffet reception will be cheaper than a formal sit down meal.

9. Have a cash bar as an alternative to giving a wedding gift. It is a great way to accommodate your guests & will save you money on the hall hire.

10. Choose a midweek wedding date as weekend dates are always more expensive.

11. Good rates can be bad for winter time weddings.

12. Pay by cash & negotiate a deal on the price for doing so. Most venues will have to pay a charge to accept payments by credit cards so they are more likely to agree.

13. You can save on your catering costs by holding the reception in the daytime & offer just canapés or snacks, rather than a formal evening meal.

Having a hall wedding reception needn’t cost you the earth, particularly if you pull some of the tricks I have mentioned. Also consider holding your reception outdoors. Some may think that an indoors reception is more elegant than an outdoors one, but this needn’t be the case & an outdoor event can be more fun & cost you less.

How You Can Get Her Back After a Breakup

 "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (UNKNOWN)

Do you know that sometimes your never ending chattering or over judgmental behavior can be the reason for a possible relationship breakup? Do you criticize, chatter and nag?

If you decide you still need her in your life then think twice before you talk anything bad about her. She will definitely try to get your attention by dating your enemy or even your friend. Don’t lose hearts try to think positive and stay calm. Give her some space and time to think about you and all that you have done. Don’t pass judgments or show off your jealousy or anger in any way. The reverse effect will be evident if you try to do all these things. Just relax and be patient. Sure you will be angry or you might even be over protective and try to protect her against the guys she's with. Just remember that once the breakup happened you have no hold on her.

You have no right to pass judgments, nor criticize her in anyway. Come in terms with the fact that she is your ex. You might her back but till then she is still out of your control or protection. She chose to breakup and so you have to respect her decision and stay away until she finds out that she misses you. You can still continue as good friends after the breakup. But be very cautious and be careful not to use any of your earlier pranks or behavior when you were sweet hearts. Be a good and decent friend until she wants to take it further and get back once again. Let her see your other side wherein you can be in your best of behavior. Allow her to be attracted and let her admire you and start loving you all over again.

Incredible Ways to Bond with Your Girlfriend or Wife

 "I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you."
— (Unknown)
Everyone wants to have a strong relationship with their partner, but they might not be sure how to keep it that way. Life can become busy, stress can take over, and relationships can be on the back burner. However, when you want your relationship to be happy and healthy, there are plenty of things that you can do to create a lasting bond that goes beyond how crazy life can become.

Making time when you have none

It’s essential that you create some time in your hectic life to be with each other. Even when work and home life becomes crazy, you need to be able to retreat to this time in order to reconnect with your partner. This means that every day, you should have some time set aside for you and your partner to be with each other. It doesn’t have to be hours, but it should be time that isn’t spent doing anything else by talking to each other. A five minute backrub or a walk around the block is all that you need.

Make contact each day

If you’re working in separate workplaces, you will want to make sure that you are contacting each other once a day. A simple email or a quick phone call can let the other know that you are thinking about them and that you want to let the other know that you care. It doesn’t have to be anything long and involved – just a little email that says ‘I love you and hope that you have a good day’ is sufficient.

Find out what she needs

Too many times women can feel like their needs aren’t being attended to, but then again, they might not let you know either. What you need to do is ask your girlfriend or wife what they need from you – physically, emotionally, etc. You may be surprised to hear nothing in response right when you ask, but if you give her some time, she will let you know what she needs and truly appreciate that you thought to ask. It will also show her that asking for something will allow you to be there for her.

Listen to her

When your girlfriend or wife is having a rough time in her life, you need to be sure that you are being there for her. Women aren’t necessarily wanting advice at these times (unless they ask), but rather a shoulder to cry and vent on. They want to hear that they’re not crazy for thinking something and that their feelings are validated. You need to sit with her and let her know that you are there for her to listen.

When you do give advice

If there comes a point when your wife or girlfriend might need advice, or there’s something going on in your relationship that needs to be fixed, you will want to pay attention to the way that you say it. By focusing on the fact that your feelings will change when your partner changes their behavior, it takes the ‘blame’ from her and redirects it to helping you. Likewise, allowing her to see how changes can help her will help her realize things that she might not have realized. Never, ever criticize – focus on helping.

Do more than is necessary

Each day you should be waking up to ask yourself the question of how you can make your partner’s life better that day. If you can even help her out in one tiny way or do some little thing that makes her day easier, then you have paved the way to a healthy relationship that allows you both to feel connected and bonded to each other.

Love all of her

There’s something to be said for the idea of loving someone so matter what. You need to realize that she is human and that she will make mistakes, but that when you forgive her or just don’t make a big deal out of little things, she will begin to trust you more and realize that she doesn’t have to ‘impress’ you. Sometimes when a woman tries so hard to impress, she will make mistakes, but when you let her know that you love her and care for her just the way she is, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Love Is A Not A Feeling But A Decision

When you Google LOVE, there are so many websites/advice on LOVE. I used to be one of those LOVE seekers until I got married. It was then I discovered LOVE is not a feeling but is a decision. Attraction/lust is a feeling but it is definitely not the good foundation for LOVE. Love is when one can look beyond the lust/attraction feeling and make a CONSCIOUS decision to accept the other party for his/her entirety.
Those Mills and Boons books describing the heart palpitation are just temporary and initial feelings when you meet someone. As you get to know a person, it is then you make the decision whether to fall IN LOVE with the person. Similarly, a divorce is also a decision to fall OUT OF LOVE with the person. It's not the other party has changed but you yourself has DECIDED not to accept the person for his/her flaws. When lust was in place, the flaws are often pushed aside but as stability or should I say monotonous sets in, the flaws starts surfacing. Usually the party the make the conscious decision to fall OUT OF love will find excuses for his/her conscience that things have changed or the other party has changed. But in all honesty, the person that decides to fall OUT OF LOVE, could not face up to the fact that he/she has make that conscious decision to do so and it has nothing to do with the other party.
Many people try to find love and said that they couldn't. It is because all of us have set our own criteria for LOVE. Some of us wants a Tall, Dark, Handsome man, Singaporean set the 5C's criteria, men wants women with big boobs/bum etc. But did any of us prepare ourselves what happens when this criteria disappears after a while? What do we do when our Tall, Dark, Handsome man become a couch potato with pot belly, our 5C man loses his job, our big boobs woman has a mastectomy? Do we then make the conscious decision to fall OUT OF LOVE and initiate a divorce based on irreconcilable differences?
We envy those who celebrate their golden/diamond anniversary but if we talk to this people, you will find that it's their decision to stay together. No doubt, I know that there are many people who also decide to stay together for the sake of their children but they are not happy together. But whatever it is, it is still a decision - to fall in love, to fall out of love, to stay together but remain unhappy. It's all a choice - A DECISION. So to those who cant find love, maybe it is your decision not to, to those facing a divorce, it is also a decision either from you or your partner and to those happily married for 50 years, it is also your decision to make the best of what you have chosen. What I am saying is by all means you these websites to widen your circle, to know more people, to increase your choices but if these websites promised to find you love, then think twice. It is your own decision to love or not to love, no one can give you the shortcut and the secret to finding love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5028708