When you find love, compatibility is just as important. They are
not always the same. Failing to realize this is the reason why some
people find themselves in emotional and/ or in physically abusive
relationships, and why some divorce.
You can fall in love with
someone you see on the television screen, or you can fall in love with
someone because they are physically attractive, but do you share the
same interests and values in life?
There are some of us who fall in love because the other person wants us. Actually, we call it love, but is it really?
Follow Your Instincts:
I
was engaged and living with Daryl, my long-time boyfriend who didn't
seem to care if I was alive or dead. This was confusing, because he
transferred from his job working at the phone company in San Francisco
where we met in college, to be with me in Los Angeles.
There were
days when he didn't want to speak to me. I could deal with that over the
nine years we went in and out of our relationship up North, but since
we weren't living together then, I didn't have to deal with his stormy
moods which I hated.
However, living with Daryl, who also gave me
the silent treatment when he was upset with me, was awkward and
frustrating, especially since we had a one-bedroom apartment. There was
no place to run.
I remember one time after visiting our parents in
San Francisco, we drove the entire five and half hours back to Los
Angeles in silence because he was angry with me about something he never
shared.
If the other person is not willing to communicate and
work through your problems together, or even tell you what is wrong, how
can you move forward?
Daryl may have thought he was teaching me a lesson. However, he actually drove me into my future husband's arms.
I
met Walter at the Red Onion restaurant, when I was with a group of my
co-workers and friends from CBS Television Network, celebrating
birthdays in the month of February.
Since Daryl was not speaking
to me during this time, and again, I had no idea why he was mad, I took
up Walter's offer to have lunch.
During this one meeting with
Walter, he started talking about his dreams for the future, and was very
curious about mine. I realized then that I had put my dreams on hold,
but I still had continued to study spiritual and self-help materials to
grow. I discovered Walter, was on the same self-growth and spiritual
path. Daryl and I didn't have those things in common.
Playing It Safe
Then,
it hit me like a brick, Daryl liked to play life safe. Go to work, come
home, raise a family, visit friends and family and keep his good job as
an ATT technician, installing and repairing wiring. He was perfectly
content to follow that road. However, I realized he didn't want to grow
even though he was in his early twenties, and the economy was good back
then.
He felt safe in his job. And, like many people, he would learn, there is no safety in any job, only in your Higher Power.
I
could barely stay in my seat as I listened to Walter talk about his
aspirations. I confided that I had put my dreams on the back burner. He
woke me up encouraging me to follow my dream to write books. Daryl once
told me that there was no security in writing, and to stay at my "good
job" as a publicist for CBS and get the benefits.
I realize he may
have wanted me to play it safe because he may have been threatened with
me stepping out of the box and growing despite, or without him.
Listening
to Walter, I saw I was settling for Daryl and his ways only because he
was familiar. We tend to do that in life. If there is a irritation like a
pebble in our shoe, we keep walking around with that uncomfortable
feeling. Eventually, we learn to ignore it and it doesn't hurt as much,
because we are used to the pain. So we never take the irritation out of
our lives. We live with whatever is uncomfortable.
Darly's
un-communicative ways were like the pebble in my shoes. Actually more
like a rock. Looking back, we were headed for divorce before we were
even married.
Dream Big
During that lunch
with Walter, I was falling in love, because he was helping me to fall
back in love with myself. I was rediscovering a part of myself dreaming
again. And, at the same time, across the table I was looking into the
eyes of my soul mate who shared my same interests.
Silently, I
made a decision to step out of my known territory. Many people don't
step out. They say things like, "I'll stay with blank (name) because if I
find someone else, it will be a whole new set of problems. At least, I
know my challenges with blank (name)." I believe this is why some people
get addicted to everything from alcohol to gambling, to keep their
feelings suppressed from their dreams they never tried to follow. Life
is about growing. Just look at nature for proof.
Refuse to Settle
Walter
and I agreed to see one another again. I didn't know where that road
would lead, but I did know I couldn't continue that same circular path
with Daryl.
The next week I moved out. Six months later, I was
married to Walter. It's now 33 years, two businesses, and three kids
later, and we are still living our dreams together. Writing these words
is part of those dreams.
How do you find love and compatibility?
It will find you (law of attraction), if you are willing to follow your
dreams and not settle for less.
Excerpt from "Sporting the Right Attitude: Overcoming Obstacles for a Lasting Love." Visit
http://www.SportingtheRightAttitude.com for more information on relationships.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7496478
When you find love, compatibility is just as important. They are
not always the same. Failing to realize this is the reason why some
people find themselves in emotional and/ or in physically abusive
relationships, and why some divorce.
You can fall in love with
someone you see on the television screen, or you can fall in love with
someone because they are physically attractive, but do you share the
same interests and values in life?
There are some of us who fall in love because the other person wants us. Actually, we call it love, but is it really?
Follow Your Instincts:
I
was engaged and living with Daryl, my long-time boyfriend who didn't
seem to care if I was alive or dead. This was confusing, because he
transferred from his job working at the phone company in San Francisco
where we met in college, to be with me in Los Angeles.
There were
days when he didn't want to speak to me. I could deal with that over the
nine years we went in and out of our relationship up North, but since
we weren't living together then, I didn't have to deal with his stormy
moods which I hated.
However, living with Daryl, who also gave me
the silent treatment when he was upset with me, was awkward and
frustrating, especially since we had a one-bedroom apartment. There was
no place to run.
I remember one time after visiting our parents in
San Francisco, we drove the entire five and half hours back to Los
Angeles in silence because he was angry with me about something he never
shared.
If the other person is not willing to communicate and
work through your problems together, or even tell you what is wrong, how
can you move forward?
Daryl may have thought he was teaching me a lesson. However, he actually drove me into my future husband's arms.
I
met Walter at the Red Onion restaurant, when I was with a group of my
co-workers and friends from CBS Television Network, celebrating
birthdays in the month of February.
Since Daryl was not speaking
to me during this time, and again, I had no idea why he was mad, I took
up Walter's offer to have lunch.
During this one meeting with
Walter, he started talking about his dreams for the future, and was very
curious about mine. I realized then that I had put my dreams on hold,
but I still had continued to study spiritual and self-help materials to
grow. I discovered Walter, was on the same self-growth and spiritual
path. Daryl and I didn't have those things in common.
Playing It Safe
Then,
it hit me like a brick, Daryl liked to play life safe. Go to work, come
home, raise a family, visit friends and family and keep his good job as
an ATT technician, installing and repairing wiring. He was perfectly
content to follow that road. However, I realized he didn't want to grow
even though he was in his early twenties, and the economy was good back
then.
He felt safe in his job. And, like many people, he would learn, there is no safety in any job, only in your Higher Power.
I
could barely stay in my seat as I listened to Walter talk about his
aspirations. I confided that I had put my dreams on the back burner. He
woke me up encouraging me to follow my dream to write books. Daryl once
told me that there was no security in writing, and to stay at my "good
job" as a publicist for CBS and get the benefits.
I realize he may
have wanted me to play it safe because he may have been threatened with
me stepping out of the box and growing despite, or without him.
Listening
to Walter, I saw I was settling for Daryl and his ways only because he
was familiar. We tend to do that in life. If there is a irritation like a
pebble in our shoe, we keep walking around with that uncomfortable
feeling. Eventually, we learn to ignore it and it doesn't hurt as much,
because we are used to the pain. So we never take the irritation out of
our lives. We live with whatever is uncomfortable.
Darly's
un-communicative ways were like the pebble in my shoes. Actually more
like a rock. Looking back, we were headed for divorce before we were
even married.
Dream Big
During that lunch
with Walter, I was falling in love, because he was helping me to fall
back in love with myself. I was rediscovering a part of myself dreaming
again. And, at the same time, across the table I was looking into the
eyes of my soul mate who shared my same interests.
Silently, I
made a decision to step out of my known territory. Many people don't
step out. They say things like, "I'll stay with blank (name) because if I
find someone else, it will be a whole new set of problems. At least, I
know my challenges with blank (name)." I believe this is why some people
get addicted to everything from alcohol to gambling, to keep their
feelings suppressed from their dreams they never tried to follow. Life
is about growing. Just look at nature for proof.
Refuse to Settle
Walter
and I agreed to see one another again. I didn't know where that road
would lead, but I did know I couldn't continue that same circular path
with Daryl.
The next week I moved out. Six months later, I was
married to Walter. It's now 33 years, two businesses, and three kids
later, and we are still living our dreams together. Writing these words
is part of those dreams.
How do you find love and compatibility?
It will find you (law of attraction), if you are willing to follow your
dreams and not settle for less.
Excerpt from "Sporting the Right Attitude: Overcoming Obstacles for a Lasting Love." Visit
http://www.SportingtheRightAttitude.com for more information on relationships.
