3 Proven Strategies To A Healthy And Happy Relationship

Is creating a healthy, happy relationship with the love of your life a dream for you? Not at all, if you would learn some fundamental principles to keeping and maintaining a happy relationship. The principles discussed here can also be applied to all your human relationships - whether it's with your child, your friends, your co-worker, or even your boss!
1) Acceptence And Forgiveness
Don't try to change someone. This is a must. If a person really wants to change, that person will need to be motivated and take action. Period. And if you seriously desire and hope to see the changes you like to see in you partner. Here's the secret. Do not make your desire to change him/her looks like your desire to change him/her!
Also regarding acceptance, accept limitations. He is not Superman; you are not Wonder woman. No one is perfect; so do not expect perfection. Accept the little flaws that come with each person. You accept theirs; they accept yours.
If and when things get out of hand and it is your fault, apologize and ask forgiveness and move on. Similarly, be acceptable to apologies and grant forgiveness, too. Life is too short to stay focused on the negative too long. No need to deny it; face it, deal with it and move on past it to improve and strengthen your relationships. And learn to forgive and forget. That's life!
2) Bonding And Communication
Bonding with another person generally does take time. Learn the art of good communication. Talk, listen, share the good and the bad, ask questions, compliment instead of nag or insult.
In short be a friend; make a friend. Your partner has been your friend, and today he is still your best friend. Things happen from time to time and cancellations are a part of life. The best of friends expect nothing from the other person. There is only love. Check judgmental attitudes at the door. That is healthy. Always remember this, if you go into a relationship to change another person and demanding your mate communicate and bond with you the way you want it, you are heading for touble, and your relationship will go downhill. Period.
If this bonding is lacking, it may mean professional help is needed (like a counselor or therapist) or it may be time to learn to draw in your true love.
3) Expectations And Human Nature
Movies, romance novels and television shows often portray life, especially human relationships, very differently than it is in the real world - this is no secret. How many people really always look like movie stars, have zero health ailments, endless income without hardly ever going to work, fabulous cars and homes, friends and family who totally adore them and come to their beckon call, no long-term problems because they all end so quickly, etc.? And who can battle serious issues like one person having an affair with someone else, and wrap the whole storyline up in two hours?
Get real. Expect a little less than the media portray and learn more about humans by joining the real world scenario. Learn all you can about human nature and human relationship if you have the change. This course of study is a fasinating subject. You'll learn more about your-self and your partner in ways you have never known before.
The bottomline is, always remember that whatever you need is already here, within you, within your reach. You do not have to search for your power from other people. If you shift your center onto another person and expect him or her to hold your core structure for you, you are bound to have a failing relationship and suffer from a broken heart.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/112173

5 Blocks to Listening in a Love Relationship

Have you ever been talking for awhile and noticed that the person you were talking to wasn't paying attention? An especially irritating instance is when someone asks you a question about something... "Hey how are things going with your new job?" You begin to share and you notice that they really didn't want to know and before you have finished your second sentence they are moving toward the refreshment table leaving you in mid sentence. How annoying. It would almost be better, in my mind, if they didn't even ask in the first place. If this happened to you would you feel irritated? Insignificant? Boring? People have many reactions, but it doesn't feel good.
We often notice when this happens to us, but do we notice when we do it to someone else? Usually not. I am guilty of it too. Writing about this is an extra good reminder for me to pay attention to some of the blocks we all have when listening to each other. It feels easier to just brush off an acquaintance who might not listen very well to us, but when a partner in a love relationship does this, it can hurt. In fact it can make you feel very unsupported, especially the deeper and more vulnerable the topic.
Here are a few blocks to listening to watch out for.
1. Rehearsing - you try really hard to look like you are listening but really your mind is going a million miles a minute preparing what you are going to say next.
2. Over Identifying - I am not talking about empathy here, but listening to the story of your spouse's toothache and then pouncing on, "well, you think that one's bad... "
3. Advising - you begin to listen to a couple sentences and then can't wait for them to be quiet so you can tell them how to fix it.
4. Jumping Tracks - suddenly changing the subject (or moving to the refreshment table mid sentence) or joking something off to avoid listening or feeling uncomfortable.
5. Being Right - going to any length to being wrong, proving your point, admitting a mistake, that you jump back in retaliation or proving that you are right without really listening.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these? I know you recognized your partner doing these but maybe you can pick out one that you do most often and try to become aware of when you do this and what you are feeling when it happens. Are you trying to impress? Do you feel yourself becoming defensive? Awareness is the first step to making a change.
The key to real listening is wanting and intending to do so. It doesn't mean sitting still with your mouth shut staring at the other person. It is an active process that includes letting the speaker know that you are with them along the way, asking clarifying questions, and acknowledging with empathy what the other person might be feeling. Listening is a skill that can be learned and practiced. It brings closeness, intimacy, and a feeling of being supported by your loved one.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7773669

How Do I Do Marriage Counseling?

Six steps of my marriage counseling processes are reviewed; the various qualities of being a marriage counselor, a psychologist, a life coach and a relationship advice provider are outlined.
Step # 1: I ask to speak loud and clear; to lay the problems on the table. I want to fully understand as quickly as possible. Describing a recent fight in detail often helps partners begin to identify core problems. Most couples fight about pragmatic issues, laundry or paying bills, for instance, but it's the emotional needs underlying these tiffs that need my attention as their marriage counselor and life coach. Is it sex? Need for emotional support or career expectations?
Step # 2: I help couples to recognize the cause of their detachment to each other and try to identify their inner needs and fears that are not being met. As couples more carefully explore the underlying source of their arguments, they begin to realize that the enemy is not the partner but their own unhealthy or too vague communication style. This awareness is the first relationship advice they get. In this step I ask the couple to use "I want", "I need", "I would like to have" sentences. Ultimately my questions will uncover their needs, fears or expectations they might have (sexuality, recognition, equality, rejection, failure, temptations) which are driving the negative dynamics of their relationship.
Step # 3: I assist couples to articulate their emotions and perceptions regarding their spouses and link it to their own behavior. Both partners have to be non-judgmental while explaining to each other their disappointments. It is my job as their marriage counselor to teach them and keep them listening while a positive feedback process is taking place. This is the second relationship advice they get.
Step # 4: The transformation process begins here. Partners realize they're both hurting and that neither is to blame. As the couple begins to see the negative dynamic as the source of their problems, they become more aware of their own needs for attachment, as well as those of their partner. My part is to nurture the move towards empathy. I'm the psychologist here. Partners can now approach their problems with a less combative mind-set. Sometimes their honesty makes them feel increasingly vulnerable, and my job is to encourage and support them and to help them remain responsive to each other. Here I play the life coach role.
Step # 5: Partners create new solutions to their problems by analyzing their past processes and viewing their history in a different light to allow newer, healthier ways to surface while approaching pragmatic problems. At this stage of I do not hesitate to be an active facilitator; I will offer creative ways to get the couple moving in a new direction. This solving problem stage also calls for my qualities as a life coach.
Step # 6: In conclusion, I employ my psychologist role and help the couple to reflect what got them off track in their communication and how they found their way back. The therapeutic circle could be completed.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2682609

Marriage Counseling Relationship Stage Analysis

Relationship Stage Analysis as a Marriage Counseling Process
Why do I do what I do as a Marriage Counseling Professional? This article elaborates on this theme.
As an effective Psychologist, Relationship Advice provider, Life coach and Marriage Counseling practitioner, while working to save a relationship, I find it very helpful to form an opinion as to the current "stage" of the relationship.
Here I explain the 'how' and 'why' behind this practice.
Many scholars and practitioners agree that relationships generally go through five phases of development: Honeymoon, Accommodation, Challenge, Cross Roads, and Rebirth.
Phase 1: The Honeymoon This is the romantic, passionate, stars-in-the-eyes phase. I either get the impression that sex is good and there is never enough of it, or I stop and ask about it. There ought to be plenty of attraction and sexuality between them and if not, it becomes a priority in my discussion. The Psychologist role is leading here.
Phase 2: Accommodation We all have to deal with the day-to-day realities of life. In the Accommodation stage, compromises are made regarding the fulfillment of our needs and expectations. As a result we engage, from time to time, in power struggles when our partners' habits, needs, anger and withdrawal patterns become uncomfortable to us. It is important for me to question the proportion of these struggles to the entire marriage experience. A few examples are "how soon', 'how much', and 'how intensive'. I have an opportunity to learn from this stage the potential strength of the couple in problem solving, managing conflict, and their communication patterns. The Life Coach role is the leading one here.
Phase 3: The Challenge Starting a new job, dealing with unemployment or the unfortunate occurrence of an accident or family illness are events that allow me to assess how strong the relationship is. It is fair to say that challenges are usually unwanted but nevertheless necessary for the couple if they really want to know what to expect from each other. I also need to know these expectations also. Raising children is a positive challenge; I definitely need to know how it reflects each partners' qualities and their value system and ability to prioritize the family's future needs. I'm a typical Marriage Counseling professional here...
Phase 4: The Crossroads When a couple reaches this stage they have experienced a number of challenges (e.g. medical or money problems). In addition, more life decisions will be made (e.g. to have children, where to live, spending habits). This stage is different from the Challenge Phase because the couple has learned how each responds to these situations. This is the stage in which I learn how mature their emotional patterns are in dealing with their differences. It is most common at this stage for serious problems to develop. Typically, I expect to hear one or more from the following three: debates and regrets regarding the relationship, emotional withdrawal as a survival mechanism and attempts to force the other person to drastically change. When both individuals clearly see this progression I am able to offer a therapeutic strategy. Here I can fully exercise my role as a Relationship Advice provider.
Phase 5: Rebirth (New marriage lifestyle) 70-75% of all couples whom I have counseled have reached this positive stage of a "new beginning". At this point, folks really know the person they have married; couples feel once again appreciated and loved. It is my scientific Psychologist role practice to arrange a one-year follow-up consultation either in person or by phone to gather the qualitative as well as quantitative data in order to identify the couples' continued ability to positively communicate with each other their disappointments, hurts, frustrations and most importantly their sexual intimacy.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2690633

Types of Counseling For a Better Relationship

Would your relationship profit from some counseling? Regardless if it is premarital, marriage, or family problems, counseling may help you if you discover that certain areas of your relationship need repair. Contrary to what you may expect, a relationship without conflict may still gain a lot from counseling. Having an argument or problem with someone does not mean that the relationship is not good, instead, it is the way that the conflict resolution is handled that determines the quality of the relationship. In fact, relationships with little arguments and fights are more likely to end in divorce.
Counseling is not exclusively for people with high stress relationships. Even if you have just few problems in your relationship, if you find you are unable to handle them on your own, counseling may be the right way to do so. It can give you a better understanding of your situation that you would not find on your own, and better insight on how to handle problems in the future.
Counseling is not intended to take the place of traditional support groups, like your family, friends, etc. Rather, it is intended to augment those support groups, as well as to take over where that support ends. They also help you better manage your relationships with these support groups in connection with your partner.
The type of counseling you should seek depends on your situation. Most couples begin with couples or family counseling, so that the therapist can study the interactions between partners or among the different family members. If it is revealed during counseling sessions that one person prevails over the others, he or she may be given individual counseling to single out that individuals' concerns.
In group counseling, several couples communicate with the guidance of a counselor. These couples often have shared experiences that they can better understand in the context of meeting other couples. This is an advanced technique, commonly endorsed to couples after their key concerns have been clarified through couples, family or individual counseling. In these sessions, you create new support groups to sympathize and help you in your relationships. In this way, you get the greatest benefits from counseling.

To learn more about group counseling or other types of relationship therapy, visit WCCCLA.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4414785

Dealing With the Ghost in Your Relationship

Things just aren't right and you can't get your relationship on track. You love each other, but somehow you feel like you can't seem to win for losing. No matter how much you try the distance increases and the frustration builds. You may have been to see a counselor or even several. You may have gone week after week or maybe only one session yet the difficulties continue. You say you can't communicate, but what if the issue really isn't communication? Maybe that is just a symptom of something else.
Not uncommonly how we were raised, what we experienced in childhood, how we were treated growing up has an impact on how we get along in our intimate adult relationship. How we managed in our childhood sets the stage for how we manage and what we expect in adulthood.
Like an arrow set forth, our life has a trajectory and we carry our childhood experiences, expectations and coping strategies right into our grown up relationships. However, what may have worked for managing in childhood, may serve as the very problem for how we get along in adulthood.
Counseling tends to focus on the here and now; current behavior and patterns of communication. As such, it is not likely to uncover the more deep seated and long standing issues that are at the core of present day problems.
Marital therapy is designed to go deeper and further back. However as practiced by many, the process can take months to years as the therapist provides the opportunity for couples to develop rapport with the therapist to eventually and spontaneously disclose deeper hidden truths long kept secret.
A lot of couples drop out feeling that their discussions in the therapy room only mimic their circular arguments at home. In other cases, the couple feels like just when they are getting somewhere, the time is over and they lose the momentum from one meeting to the next. They feel like the experience is useless and this creates a greater sense of frustration and distrust in the very concept and process of therapy.
This is when people call me. They read about my approach and how my first session is a good three hours long. They recognize that to not lose momentum, to have an extended opportunity to get their story out in one session is of tremendous value. The other difference in my practice is that I ask questions. People aren't just expected to chat freely while the therapist only listens. It's not that I don't listen, but I am listening to the responses to very important questions, questions about their lives and childhood experiences.
I routinely conduct an extensive individual and family history taking procedure, trans-generational in nature and probing for issues related to mental health, physical health, addictions, violence/abuse, quality of relationships, developmental histories, personality styles, etc. I am looking for or assessing issues that may be either contributory or intervening variables to the presenting problem.
Like the physician who certainly asks how you feel, yet goes on to examine and gather information, my approach is active and less dependent upon the hope that over time you may disclose something of relevance from your past. I ask and gather information directly just as the physician would surely take your pulse, temperature and blood pressure as opposed to letting you only talk on about your symptoms.
It is amazing how freely people will talk about their past and experiences kept secret for years when in a supportive environment. It is also amazing how couples learn so much more about each other, history to better understand present day issues. The process helps build empathy from once was frustration.
Couples are then provided strategies to mitigate the ghosts from the past to learn and manage their adult lives more reasonably.
A common refrain from my clients is that they learn more in one meeting with me, than in years of therapy with anyone else:
Jacob and Janice had been married 14 years. They had three children despite a very intermittent intimate life. They had been to numerous other therapists and Jacob had also been in individual therapy for years.
Asking a myriad of questions, it seems that Jacob's parents weren't very involved in his upbringing. His father was a womanizer and drinker. His mother suffered depression and spent days at a time in bed.
When asked if either Jacob or Janice had ever been touched in a way that might be deemed inappropriate, Jacob froze and then nodded his head. I quietly asked if he could speak about it and he did. Janice looked on silently with amazement.
Jacob disclosed having been molested when about 5 or 6 years old by a neighborhood boy several years older than him. Jacob sobbed as he disclosed some details. Janice, who had grown distant over the years because of Jacob's lack of intimacy drew closer to him and took his hand. She said she was so sorry that she didn't know. This was Jacob's first disclosure of this incident.
I talked with Jacob about this experience in the context of his broader childhood family issues, his vulnerability and lack of support. Despite his feelings, it wasn't his fault and even if the attention felt special for him then as a child this was to be considered normal in the context of limited parental attention. There was plenty to discuss and the time available provided the opportunity. We addressed several ghosts in their relationship and how to manage differently than they had. Jacob and Janice expressed their appreciation for the meeting. We met two other times, also extended meetings. It was sufficient to resolve their intimacy issues.
Therapy is a bold choice by couples seeking to improve their relationship. What couples may not realize is that there are many approaches to therapy, some more suited to their needs than others. We want couples to make informed decisions as to their choice of therapist. These days many companies offer therapy services as an employee benefit, and while the cost may be favorable, the approach of the assigned therapist may not be helpful. Value is not in the cost, but the outcome. While no one can guarantee the outcome, couples are still advised to ask questions about one's approach to choose wisely.
The sooner the ghost in your relationship is laid to rest, the sooner you can get on with life together. Some approaches and therapists will help you deal sooner rather than later.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9527244

Relationship Counselling - How To Communicate Better

Here are some Communication Skills That Will Help Your Relationship
Most couples that come for couples counselling main aim is to communicate better and reduce the time spend in arguments. Good communication is important as it is the way that couples stay emotionally connected and know that they care for each other and are loved. Communication is a skill that is partly knowing how to do it and mostly about risking being open and coming from the heart.
Here are some of the key tips gained from my experience as a relationship counsellor offering relationship counselling
Talk About It

• Being honest and real with each other is a scary thing, yet it's the way to go.
• It's important to keep a "clean heart" towards each other so if something is bothering you, that makes you feel distant from your partner don't let it go, or minimise it - share it
• If you are fearful of having arguments or upsetting each other it's well worth getting some support to understand your fears. It's important that you can be true to yourself.

Prioritise Having A Relationship Instead of Arguing About Who Is Right

• Rather than argue in a power struggle over who is "right", allow room for two realities that can both be valid.
• Focus n what you want rather than arguing the details of who said what, when, and who is right. You both are!
• It doesn't matter that you see the world differently along as you can agree a way forward that meets both your needs.
• Be curious about what is important to your partner. Respect the things that they say are important, are important, to them
• Sometimes it can feel that your partner is out to put you down when really underneath they want connect with you.

There's Room Male Logic and Female Feeling

• Men tend to focus on the content of what is said and argue the details whereas women tend to focus on the feelings underneath. In an argument it can be like a man and woman being on two different radio channels, wishing the other to tune into their channel.
• Here's a story that helps explain the differences: In ancient times of hunter-gatherers men would go and hunt.The men would need to focus on one thing and be direct with each other to work together to survive the hunt. Women would be busy child-rearing and keeping the social network together. Survival was about keeping the social harmony. Women avoided directness as it was too confrontational and left them feeling vulnerable of being excluded from the group. They learnt the art of subtle indirect communication where it was only necessary to hint at what was needed and the other women would pick things up without their being any confrontation. What was important was how each person felt and keeping the harmony and connection in the group. In modern times there is still the conditioning of men being validated for their logic and women being validated for their ability to tune in and connect in feeling.
• Men and women can benefit from honouring and appreciating the differences between the genders and realise that we have different life journeys and social conditioning. For many it's a massive shift to stop expecting a partner to communicate in the same way they do. Men expect women to be logical and women expect men to pick up indirect signals
• Men can learn to listen to the feeling and respond with feeling on the "feeling channel" and women can learn to speak directly and with fewer words to men on the "logic channel".

In Arguments First Seek To Understand

• In an argument both people want to be heard. It's hard to remember when you are in the heat of emotion, but the way through is to be able to stand back a bit and first seek to understand what your partner is trying to say.Learn to listen to message underneath the content.
• Show you are listening and understanding by respectfully interrupting your partner by saying,'Let me see if I'm getting this..' then; repeat back what you have heard ( without adding any judgments or justifications ). You don't have to agree with what your partner said or question it - first show you are hearing what is said. Then check with your partner if they have more to add. Let them finish before responding. You don't need to repeat back everything just the key bits. Yes it can be difficult to do this!
• Often the message sent isn't the message received. Your partner may believe you are criticising them when that isn't your intention. Sometimes it is worth asking them to say back to you what they heard you say. This does need to be sensitively done so your partner understands that your intention is to show care and insure that there isn't any miscommunication rather than your intention being to control or patronisie them
• Men, women rarely want you to offer solutions to what they are telling you about, unless they specifically ask. They are wanting you to hear them out and tell them that everything will be ok. E.g. you believe they will sort it out.

Schedule Quality Time Together

• Schedule time together into your diaries so you have quality time with your partner each week so there is time to nourish your emotional bond and have fun together.
• Notice what you appreciate about your partner and tell them regularly.
• The ratio of appreciation to bringing up issues should be 5 to 1. Appreciate your partner 5 times more often than bringing up issues
• Consciously ensure that you have uninterrupted time for love making. Allow plenty of time to connect and relax together before lovemaking so you are ready to make love in a connected way rather than use lovemaking as a way of discharging tension.

Say What You Need

• Women, focus on what you are feeling and what you are needing specifically when speaking to men.Use fewer words. Men easily feel overwhelmed with lots of words and tend to want to focus on one thing at once.
• Good communication comes from a willingness to share who you are and that means risking being vulnerable and saying what you need.
• Say what you are feeling using 'I" Statements rather than focusing on what your partner is doing wrong using "You"eg I'm needing.... I'm feeling......I would like..Not 'You always...or you never...'.
• The way to motivate men to do something is to communicate what you are wanting specifically. Men want to feel appreciated and trusted to deliver so if you show you have faith in your partner and are trusting him to sort something out, and will appreciate him for doing something he's going to be more responsive.It's a confidence trick, if you act with trust and respect it comes back.

1. Make your request as calmly as possible
2. Get agreement that he is willing to do it
3. Back off, so he is left with it. You are trusting him with it so you must maintain that trust for a period of time
4. If you need to follow it up repeat the process and agree a specific time.
5. If you need to follow up again, say how you feel about the importance of trusting his word, how in small and in big things him keeping his word is important for you to feel safe with him.

See the Part You Play In Any Issue

• Relationship issues take two. A relationship is a system where the behaviour of one effects the feelings of the other and vice versa. If one of you is feeling insecure that could be because both of you are not talking enough for there to be a secure feeling connection.
• Avoid Saying your partner is "The Problem"..eg avoid..'the problem with you is..."

Stay Connected

• Many arguments stem from there being lack of connection between you. If you focus on reconnecting rather than on "the content" of the argument it helps.
• Make physical contact by touching on the arm/shoulder or hand to hand with your partner as this maintains a feeling of care and connection
• Men, it's easy to feel overwhelmed with the speed of women talking so it's essential to jump in, touch her on the hand or arm and interrupt her respectfully and say,'let me see if I'm getting this'. This helps you both slow down and keep connected
• if you are feeling overwhelmed in an argument tell your partner you need a time out for 20 mins and check that is Ok. The key thing is to stress that you want to sort this out and you will be back after the agreed time. You need to keep your word about reengaging for this to work.
• Instead of distancing or sulking, take the risk of saying how you feel and what you need. If you do need time by yourself tell your partner and say when you will be ready to reconnect so they don't feel abandoned eg. I need some time by self right now to think over what we have said - how about me meet up in an hour

Give Your Partner What They Need

• Women are born into a crowded world of other women and due to that and conditioning have a basic need to feel "special".
• Men are born needing to separate from mother to become men and due to that and conditioning need to feel trusted,believed in and appreciated.
• Women need to feel "special" and men need to feel "appreciated".
• If you act towards your partner being sensitive to the basic needs you get the joy of giving your partner what they need.

When You Can't communicate

• Communicating in a relationship is multi-layered. On the top layer are communication skills. These are the practical things you can do to improve communication with your partner which are useful to know and practise.


• You might find through that you get emotionally triggered despite your best efforts to change how you communicate. This is because of the bonding patterns we learnt about how safe it is to connect to others. It's uncanny how couple's have matching bonding patterns which are made up from
  
  1. What you learnt about what it is to be a man or a woman
  2. What you learnt about relationships
  3. Your experience of love and conflict in your family
  4. What you learnt about power and vulnerability

If you are getting stuck in the same arguments, consider couples counselling in London as a way of giving yourself and your partner the support you need to communicate better and feel emotionally closer. You don't need to figure it all out yourself

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6327987

How to Solve All Love Relationship Problems With 5 Standard Steps

Many people think love relationship problems are difficult to solve because schools don't teach you how to solve them, and different problems require a different set of solution.
That's true, but what's also true is that if were you to pay close enough attention, you'll realize that almost all love relationship problems can be solved if you apply some standard steps.
In fact, these 5 standard steps will help you to devise your own advices to solve your problems. And below are those steps you need to take.
Step 1 - Identify The Root Problem
The root causes of many love relationship problems are often obvious, and you'll spot them if you look hard enough. Common problems have to do with money, the kids, or bad habits that irritate the other party. Sometimes, it may be as simple as a lack of romance and physical affection, or a sense of growing apart in the relationship.
Whatever the root problems, take the time and effort to figure out what's putting a strain on your relationship. Once that's done, the rest of the steps will be easier and more straightforward.
Step 2 - Decide if You Want to Deal With It
Trying to solve your love relationship problems by kicking up a big fuss because your partner doesn't help you out with the housework or pays the house bills late once in a while can be ridiculous. But if it's something that hurts you or causes serious financial or social problems, you should deal with it.
That way you won't give resentment a chance to grow.
Step 3 - Time It Right
There's a right time for everything, and that includes solving your love relationship problems. Don't bring up the issue when one of you is stressed out or tired because it only makes the problem seem worse.
Also, don't pounce on your partner with the problem from nowhere because it gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset.
It will also help to say something less confrontational like "Darling, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?" rather than "Look! We need to talk!"
Step 4 - Focus on The Right Thing
Have you ever argued so intensely with someone that you actually forgot what you two were arguing about, but you knew you had to win no matter what? Guess what? It can happen too when you're dealing with your love relationship problems.
Don't focus on winning. Attack the problem and not each other. Your goal is to improve or save your relationship. Talk to your partner with respect and watch your words. And always remember not to turn aggressive.
Step 5 - Take Responsibility for The Problems
A relationship takes two hands to clap, so when a problem arises, don't play the finger pointing game and blame your partner for everything. No matter what you think, you need to accept that something about your own behaviour needs to change too.
Be willing to listen to your partner's side of the story with an open mind, then be willing to negotiate fairly and come to a resolution.
The above steps you just learnt should help you and your partner to solve any love relationship problems that come your way. Feel free to alter them the way that will suit your relationship as no two relationships in the world are alike.

Of course, those are just the standard steps to help you find unique solutions to your love relationship problems. It will always help if you can improve the way you handle your relationship on a consistent basis so that problems won't arise all the time. The best way to do that is to learn about love tips from time to time, and my site at RomancePaper.com [http://romancepaper.com] is filled with the latest tips to help you along.
On the other hand, if your love relationship problem happens to be a breakup and you desperately want to get your ex back, let me give you my mini e-book that will teach you how. I'll also show you where to get the most useful resource to help you get your ex back. You can get my mini e-book and learn about that useful resource by clicking here [http://exwantyouback.net/].

Healing After Broken Promises In A Love Relationship - 5 Steps

When a relationship loses the crucial element of trust, it has basically lost everything of any real value. Once the trust is gone, the relationship becomes an empty shell of actions and words that mean very little to both people.
In the case of romantic or love relationships, the element of trust is essential. Things fall apart in the relationship almost immediately when the trust is lost between the two people.
One of the most common ways that the trust between two loving people starts to be lost is when one person breaks an important promise to another. And, while a single broken promise may not mean much in terms of the relationship, when the broken promises start piling up you can guarantee there will be trouble.
The only healthy path beyond broken promises is one of healing and reconciliation. Without the ability to heal in a relationship, you may as well give up and move on with your lives. It is that important.
If you are looking for healing after broken promises in a relationship, here are 5 steps you can take back to love:
1. Understand that the broken promises are not your own fault:
When your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner has broken an important promise to you on more than one occasion, understand that this is not your fault. Everybody is responsible for their own actions, and you should never feel guilty or take responsibility for something that you did not do.
2. Recognize your role in maintaining the overall health of the relationship:
At the same time, however, it is also important for you to recognize your role in the underlying problems that exist in your relationship. In other words: you have been a member of this relationship for some time. You need to take some level of responsibility for allowing things to sink to this level.
3. Write out how you are feeling right now:
Start your healing process by writing out exactly how you are feeling right this minute. Your emotions are the gateway to your soul. That is why it is so important to listen to how you really feel. Consider writing down your thoughts and emotions in a journal. Putting things down on paper is a great way to sort things out within yourself.
4. Think about how you want your relationship to be in the future:
Next, turn your attention to how you want things to develop in your relationship. Do you think it is best that the two of you stay together? If so, what would that look like? How can you get yourselves to that happy place of mutual trust and kept promises again?
5. Start a healing dialogue with your partner:
Now, it is time to start a healing dialogue with your partner. Choose your words carefully. Avoid making accusations at all costs. What you need to do is to focus on appreciating who they are and what you love about them. But, you also need to share frankly and openly how you feel when they break promises to you.
Take these 5 steps to healing in a love relationship after broken promises.

Get your troubled relationship back on track with expert advice from someone who has saved thousands of couples at: Rebuild Our Love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5487501

How to Make a Man Love You - 4 Simple Steps to Win His Heart

Tired of constantly dating with no positive results? Has it been months since you've been with someone? Getting pressured thinking how to make a man love you? Things are worth trying. If you do nothing, then you'll definitely get nothing in return. Though love isn't something that can be pushed, still it requires a woman to do her own ways to make someone fall in love with her. It isn't an easy thing to do, but hard work will make it uncomplicated for you.
There are in fact a lot of ways on how to make a man love you. Although tactics are countless, what may work for one might not work for the other. Men are all different in terms of attitude, but they all want the same thing - to be loved. And this is what most women are great at. Women are typically affectionate. But it will not stand on its own. You need some backups. Here they are.
Support him.
Knowing how to make a man love you will take you to accepting the man for who he is. If a man knows that you are with him no matter what, he'll get the impression that you really like him. Aside from that, men want to feel that they have someone whom they can rely on all the time. Make him comfortable when you're around. Let him talk about anything under the sun and just agree to whatever he says. If he likes something unusual like preferring a preppy look over some nice guy attire, which his family happens to dislike, give him all your support. Make him feel that there is someone who could really understand and accept his real personality.
Make him laugh.
Women who have the ability to make a man laugh are very rare. Sometimes, women want to portray the image of femininity, which is sometimes too distressing to some who are natural with being one of the boys. Men are often the one who make women laugh. If he finds out that you are in for some absurdity at given times, he'll really be interested. He'll surely start to know more about you. He might even get used to having you around all the time.
Be you.
Being natural can increase one's confidence. Feeling good about yourself is also a way for others to feel the same way for you. If you are confident enough, a lot of people will feel light whenever you are around. Just keep your ways natural. If you want to smile, smile the natural. If you want to laugh, laugh with all your heart. If you want to cry, cry your hardest. Show people that you are a real person and not just some pretentious woman who wants to get attention of everyone.
Compliment him.
Guys feel more confident when they are complimented. Tell him he looks good with his shirt or to make a flirty move, tell him he smells great. Or if he had done something good, compliment him. Men love to gain compliments, especially from women.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5967048