Arguing, yelling and screaming are the worst ways to believe that you can improve your relationships. Yet, everywhere you turn, people are doing just that. What they fail to understand, is that an environment of judgment ensues, along with increased disrespect and pain; a long way from trying to build what a person or couple really wants, and that is respect, appreciation, love and feeling valued. Just to name a few. So, what should a person do when they feel their partner; whether lover, friend or co-worker, refuses to listen or communicate effectively? It's easy to say, "walk away", but it's not that simple, because walking away does not address the issue of miscommunication. Should they write the relationship off? No, that is certainly not the thing to do, especially when dealing with a person you love and want to have a relationship with; or you are in the workplace and must work together. So, then, what is the answer?
Here you will discover a few simple tips that can in fact get your relationships back on track.
Ask yourself, what is really going on and how you can really deal with the situation.
Next, be honest with your own responsibility in the relationship and take ownership of your part (in other words, stop blaming the other person all the time).
Be fair. If you are in an intimate relationship, create a space of an hour to sit and listen (that means, you don't talk) you listen without a judgmental look or expression on your face. Don't laugh, I know a lot of people do this.
Allow yourself to be okay with disagreeing without arguing. It's okay to disagree, be kind and allow others' to have their own opinions, even if it does not align with your own thoughts and beliefs.
Practice, practice, practice kindness. At least 1 hour per day. Seriously!
If you have a tendency to yell and scream, promise yourself and your partner that you will create a space of "no arguing" during the next conversation. Keep your promise.
Expect that it takes time to change and allow such space to happen.
Spend an hour a day working on you. Provide that space and time for you to reflect upon how you respond to yourself (your internal talk) and to others.
Finally, if you find that you are always angry, hire a relationship coach or professional therapist to help you through the process of getting things together within yourself. Relationships are not as easy as people think they are, they do take time and work.
You can create better relationships. You just have to be willing to admit that you and the other person are not perfect, but are improving. You owe it to yourself to improve you!
Dr. Michelle Joy Brown, happily married for 24 years, loves working with people in relationships in distress. You can also follow her on Face Book at http://www.facebook.com/michellejoybrown or find ways to create your own recipes to success in your relationships at http://recipes2successnow.com/
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