For a single woman, dating can be tricky. How long do you date a
man before getting in the car alone with him? Or letting you into your
home?
But for women with children, security concerns go beyond their own personal safety. A single mom will do anything to protect her children from harm, and for this reason many women with children avoid dating at all until their children are older.
There are a few simple ways to protect yourself and your children, however. While nothing's guaranteed, these tips can give you that extra peace of mind you need to go on that first date.
1. Don't fear the Internet
There is no evidence that online dating is more dangerous than meeting in a bar or through friends. Still...the best advice is to stick to dating in public places as long as possible. Drive separately and park in a well-lit area. And don't invite him around your children until you've met some of his friends and family members and feel you've really gotten to know him.
2. Invite friends along on dates
There's nothing wrong with group dating. Or bringing your new love interest to a social event where friends will be present. Your friends and family might see things about him that you don't see. Make sure these are friends who will be honest with you and tell you if they see something that concerns them.
3. Do a basic Google search
Everyone's online these days. If he has a social networking site, check out his friends and family. Look through his pictures. Google him and see if there are any public documents out there. Most court documents are public record and some court systems have websites you can search. It might take some digging, but it'll be worth it if you can breathe a sigh of relief.
4. Purchase a criminal background check
Sites like Intelius don't require the person's social security number to do a check. They will, however, require either a full name or the person's phone number, and since many of us use cell phones instead of home phones, you might not find too much with his phone number. Still, as soon as you know his last name, it might be worth a try. Just be aware that online criminal checks aren't always 100 percent accurate and up-to-date.
5. Listen to your gut
Sometimes we can be extra-cautious. But if something is bothering you, be honest with yourself about it. Try to determine if you're just concerned about your children or if something really might be wrong. And don't be afraid to walk away immediately if things don't feel right.
But for women with children, security concerns go beyond their own personal safety. A single mom will do anything to protect her children from harm, and for this reason many women with children avoid dating at all until their children are older.
There are a few simple ways to protect yourself and your children, however. While nothing's guaranteed, these tips can give you that extra peace of mind you need to go on that first date.
1. Don't fear the Internet
There is no evidence that online dating is more dangerous than meeting in a bar or through friends. Still...the best advice is to stick to dating in public places as long as possible. Drive separately and park in a well-lit area. And don't invite him around your children until you've met some of his friends and family members and feel you've really gotten to know him.
2. Invite friends along on dates
There's nothing wrong with group dating. Or bringing your new love interest to a social event where friends will be present. Your friends and family might see things about him that you don't see. Make sure these are friends who will be honest with you and tell you if they see something that concerns them.
3. Do a basic Google search
Everyone's online these days. If he has a social networking site, check out his friends and family. Look through his pictures. Google him and see if there are any public documents out there. Most court documents are public record and some court systems have websites you can search. It might take some digging, but it'll be worth it if you can breathe a sigh of relief.
4. Purchase a criminal background check
Sites like Intelius don't require the person's social security number to do a check. They will, however, require either a full name or the person's phone number, and since many of us use cell phones instead of home phones, you might not find too much with his phone number. Still, as soon as you know his last name, it might be worth a try. Just be aware that online criminal checks aren't always 100 percent accurate and up-to-date.
5. Listen to your gut
Sometimes we can be extra-cautious. But if something is bothering you, be honest with yourself about it. Try to determine if you're just concerned about your children or if something really might be wrong. And don't be afraid to walk away immediately if things don't feel right.
For more tips on dating for women with children, go to Women with Kids right now. We offer dating tips and advice for single moms, dads, and people who are interested in them. Our Dating for Women section provides you with the wisdom to date as a single parent.
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