8 Ways to Become Less Needy and More Loving

Leigh Sanders said, "Listen for your song, and join in the dance. Live in the center of your truth and find the bliss of always being enough." Remember that you are a one of kind work of art, with a special song to sing and jig to dance. Find your center, know that you are enough, and you will find the love you are so desperately seeking. All kinds of love (friend, familial, and romantic) starts and ends with self-love. When you love yourself, you can enter and exit from relationships with ease and grace. With a healthy dose of love for "self," you will find that when you are in love with someone else, you are more fully present. And when you are out of love with someone, you remain grounded.
The famous pyschotherapist Erich Fromm says, "If an individual is able to love productively, he loves himself, if he can only love others, he cannot love at all." Having love for yourself empowers you to love more freely and with more intensity. You can only give to others what you have yourself. So, if you want people to love you and treat you with respect, give it to yourself first.
As human beings, we have many needs that are important to us, which is perfectly normal. Needs are natural and when they are met in a healthy and balanced way, we are most happy. The problem comes up when we look to others to get those needs met. We are often unconscious of our neediest needs! But other people can usually spot them a mile away, and instead of giving us what we want, they tend to do the opposite! Such is the nature of needs. They scare people away instead of drawing them to us.
Emotionally needy people are not much fun to be around---they will manipulate, dominate, and finesse others to try to get what they want. And when others turn away, they get angry, blaming or striking out at them. You have probably done this a time or two--who hasn't! However, this frustrating cycle can go on for a lifetime until you make a conscious decision to change.
When you learn how to meet your own needs, you become free. You are more open and receptive, more loving and much more attractive to other people. The first step is to be able to identify what your needs are, and begin the process of meeting them once and for all. Once you have done your own inner work, you will notice that people respond to you much more to your liking.
Read the list and circle the 3 most important needs you have:
Do you want to feel?
Loved
Cherished
Admired
Smart
Authoritative
Creative
Important
Valued
Beautiful
Successful
Adored
Respected
Confident
In control
Seen
Connected
Unique
Validated
Recognized
Desireable
Secure
Prosperous
Healthy
Wealthy
Appreciated
Praised
Think of your three top needs and how you typically get them met. How much time do you wait for others to give you what you need? How often does that approach work---very rarely, right?
There is a better way: love yourself more. When you love yourself, your emotional energy vibrates "cleaner" and at a higher frequency.
What follows are 8 ways to love yourself more:
1). Accept Your Whole Self
Accept your greatness and your limitations. You are a vital and vibrant human being, start feeling good about yourself just the way you are right now!
2). Believe in Yourself
Be confident in yourself and your talents/abilities. Have faith that the universe will provide and that your needs will ultimately be met for the highest good.
3). Consider Yourself
Reflect about your likes, dislikes, what you want and don't want. You deserve to have the best relationships, career, and lifestyle.
4). Discover Yourself
Learn about your personality, values, beliefs through assessment tools and inspirational books. Excavate your soul and create your life around what is most precious to you.
5). Encourage Yourself
You are worthy of special treatment! Say and do nice things for yourself every day. Keep a running accomplishment list and add to it regularly.
6). Expand Yourself
Explore the world around you. Get interested in what life has to offer. Read books, meet people, take classes, and travel to new countries. Get in the habit of doing things differently.
7). Forgive Yourself
Let go of any residual guilt or fear from your past. Forgive yourself for making mistakes and not getting everything "exactly right." When you forgive, you free up emotional energy that can better used to love and be loved.
8). Value Yourself
Just by being born, you are worthy of esteem and value. Let yourself off the hook and move from having to do anything to deserve to be valued. Treat yourself like you would a best friend.
You deserve to get all of your needs met, and you are the person most capable of doing it. Know that YOU are the MOST important person in your life. You will always be in relationship with yourself, so make it the best relationship it can be. When you love yourself, you take care of your own needs, and as a result, you have a cup that begins to overflow, with even more to share with other people.

Michelle L. Casto, Ph.D. Candidate is known as the Soul Diva Coach, Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. She has authored 3 books and a dozen workbooks on life empowerment topics. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. To visit:
To receive your free special report, You Can Transform Your Life Now visit http://www.smartlifechanges.com smart resources for modern living: http://www.getsmartseries.com and Schedule a session: http://www.brightlightcoach.com Contact her for a complimentary 30 minute session: m.casto@brightlightcoach.com

3 Secrets to Getting More Love in Any Relationship

Many people, including me, know what it's like to feel a lack of love, compassion, and caring. I was abandoned by my mother at just three months old, and adopted at the tender, vulnerable age of seven, after several foster homes. I never felt loved by my adoptive mother, and my father was working or sleeping. I never really had a conversation with him.
Can you relate? I don't feel sorry for myself by any means, as this propelled my spiritual side into surfacing. It helped me learn that the only love that is forever, that is true, is the kind that never dies. No matter what you believe, you can always tap into that love. You can decide where it comes from, even from within yourself, because truly, that is where it is, in your heart.
I found the secret for me to getting more love in my life and infusing every relationship with that love to the point of watching people change miraculously before my eyes. Yes, it took time, but it was worth every single minute and discipline of love. Here are a few of my discoveries:
1. People respond to love. In order to give love to others, I had to first learn to give love to myself. Simply put, you can't pour tea from an empty teapot, no matter how much you want to serve your guest. What fills you with love? What recharges your love battery? Maybe it's just reading a good book, gardening, or a hobby. If you don't have time, imagine you have time and then begin to make the time, starting small.
2. When you don't need as much from others, they give you more love because you are relaxed and fulfilled. Do you want to love a needy person? Probably not if you're like most people. So take time to take care of your own needs in the best way you can. If you don't have time for yourself, that's an indication that something has to change. You'll find a way if you really want to.
3. Practice accepting love from others and you'll feel more loved. I had to learn how to receive even hugs! I was so busy giving so I could get, that I completely bypassed acceptance and receiving love in the small ways people offered it. Even accepting compliments was something I had to learn. Just say "Thank you" and if you must say something else, "I'm so glad you like it" with absolutely no denigration of yourself!!
Gratitude is powerful. Being grateful for the love you already have in your life, no matter how small, even from pets, is a simple first step. Enjoy the journey of filling your life with more love!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9525063

Men Who Leave Their Wives

Women will usually try to do everything possible to avoid a rupture in their relationship and a lot have had to suffer the trauma of a break up. Men who leave their wives, do so for a variety of reasons, but if you can remember certain things you may be able to avoid it happening to you.
First you must remember that, despite all that you have been taught to believe to the contrary, men and women are not that different in what they want in a relationship but they vary in the way they go about getting it.
A man expects to be loved respected and admired by his woman. He wants to believe he is meeting all her needs and to feel that she appreciates this; he wants to be admired by her. Everybody wants to feel appreciated for what they do and be accepted for what they are. The fact is that men and women leave a relationship because their primary needs are not being met.
Men don't normally leave their wives because they have found another woman they like. Their needs have often not been met long before there was a third party on the scene. They had been wanting out for some time before the other woman appeared; she only proved to be the catalyst in the affair.
Women often don't know how to handle a man who does not understand why she doesn't feel things like he does and who cannot or will not enter into a discussion with a view to finding a solution to the problem. All women know is that they are both unhappy and fed up with feeling in that way.
When you want to keep a healthy and happy relationship with your husband, you must understand that he still shares the same basic need to be loved and admired by you even if he expresses himself differently from you. Show him that you love him and he represents the most important person to you, and he won't be one of those men who leave their wives.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3430427

Men Who Have Affairs: Find Out If Your Man Is One of Them

What is it about men who have affairs, that is so puzzling? Why can't men just be happy with their home lives, and be satisfied with their girlfriends and wives? How can you find out if your man is cheating on you behind your back, while saying he loves you to your face? There's no doubt about it - men who have affairs are everywhere. They're the subject of TV shows and movies, and all too frequently, they're sleeping in the same bed with us at night. Here's how to tell if your man is cheating.
Men Who Have Affairs Become Secretive
When a person is cheating, he or she becomes progressively more secretive as time goes by. Your spouse or partner may once have shared everything with you - and now, it might seem as if he barely even wants to talk to you. If you ask him what he's been up to, he might become defensive or make up silly excuses that no one would ever believe.
Men who have affairs have secrets. They hide reality from their spouses and partners. They keep their cell phones with them at all times, and they probably become startled if you walk into the room while they are online conducting their affairs.
No More Intimacy
Men who have affairs are very rarely intimate with their primary partner. You might find it is difficult to get your husband or partner to enjoy intimacy with you as he used to, and you may discover that when you are intimate, it is different. If you ask what's wrong, your man might become angry or defensive. He might not even be able to function properly.
Although sometimes a lack of intimacy can occur due to other factors, it is often an indicator that your partner has found another source of physical pleasure.
How to Find Out For Sure
Sure, you could hire a detective to follow your husband or boyfriend around - or you could start snooping, yourself. But, what if he's really not cheating on you? You don't want to be caught following, and you certainly don't want to make an accusation until you are sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your man is one of those men who have affairs. There are some very easy ways to use technology to your advantage.
• Catch A Cheater With His Cell Phone - Technology that was once used only by law enforcement agencies and licensed detectives is now legal for use in many areas. You can buy it online, and install it on his phone without him ever even knowing it is there. Cell phone software will let you listen to his phone calls, spy on his text messages, and see any photos that are going back and forth.
• Catch A Cheater With His Computer - Software designed to capture keystrokes and monitor computer use can help you find out what all those hours online are really about. Is he really working late? Or is he talking to his love interest online? Find out for sure.
What To Do If You Catch Him Cheating
What should you do once you have proof of an affair? Often, relationships can be healed, even after a damaging incident has occurred. Seeking the help of an online marriage counselor can help you get to the root of the problem. Finding out why men who have affairs act as they do, is the first step to stopping harmful behavior.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Catch Cheating Boyfriend - Break the Cycle

Have you just read another tabloid and discovered another actor, politician or religious leader who is cheating on his wife and it's making you wonder if you might not soon catch a cheating boyfriend as well? Would you like to know how you can keep it from happening to you? Do you suspect it may already be too late and you want to know the signs to look for?
Infidelity can be a deal breaker for a large number of relationships, so when we catch a cheating boyfriend, it's devastating. Building trust after an infidelity is difficult and many falter and are unable to get past the pain and betrayal. Here are a few things you should consider to protect yourself and your relationship. Catch that cheating boyfriend once and for all.
Know the Man
If you've started dating a man who has a reputation for being a ladies' man and playing the field, you have to consider that he may not be as prepared to settle down to one woman as you would hope. Many women enjoy the challenge of bagging the man no one else could get, but they often regret it when they realize he simply can't be faithful to them.
Give yourself a chance and become involved with a man who wants a relationship to begin with. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.
Love the Man
Women can be quick to love. They meet a great guy and love how he looks, love his car, love his ambition and love the money. But what do they really know about him? Well, they know little and when they discover the little faults and flaws he has, they get on the criticism bandwagon. Nothing he does is ever right and there's just no winning against the woman who is constantly negative.
If you recognize yourself in this scenario, know that you might very well be pushing your man away and into the arms of another. Love and respect him as he is instead and minimize the criticism you throw at him.
Caught in the Act
Guys can be infinitely devious and sneaky, making it all the more difficult to catch a cheating boyfriend. Lying is a mainstay, but very few guys end up having the capacity to keep their lies straight. If you've noticed how his story changes from one telling to the other, there's a good chance he's tripped up on one of his lies.
Also look for a complete lack of details. What better way to keep his lies in order than by saying as little as possible? If he spent last night playing poker with his buddies and has nothing to say about the great hand he had or major loss he suffered, something might be up.
And if you doubt he's really going out for an innocent night with the guys, invite yourself along to see how he reacts. Keep in mind that boys' night out is for the boys and it's normal for him to resist, but if he is suddenly defensive and odd, it may not be a boys' night out he's planning after all.
Catching a cheating boyfriend isn't easy, but if you keep your eyes open, you'll see the signs that will lead you there.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Signs of Cheating Men - How to Tell If Your Guy Is Cheating

Do you know the most common signs of cheating men? Do you suspect your guy is cheating, but you're afraid to confront him? Are you ready to find out, once and for all, what he's been up to? Most of the time, the signs of cheating men are easy to read. They are blazed, like a trail, and with just a little patience, you can find out for sure if your guy has been playing games on the side. Here's how to do find out.
Time Will Tell
If your guy has been spending more and more time "at the office" or "out with the guys" and you suspect he's not telling the truth, you could be right. One of the most common signs of cheating men is that they lie about their whereabouts, and often, they're too foolish to cover their tracks.
Feel like checking up on your guy? Call to see if he's where he said he was, and have a ready-made excuse for calling. You might have to do this more than once if you want to catch him in the act.
Calls to Remember
Does your man seem to guard his cell phone with his life? Does he take it everywhere with him, never let it out of his sight, and seem alarmed if you're looking? One of the biggest telltale signs of cheating men is this: They use their phones to talk to the women they're cheating on you with, and often, they store messages and photos of their new favorite right where anyone could see them.
Be careful, because playing with your guy's phone could be just like opening Pandora's box. Are you ready to confront him, or do you simply want to know the truth? If your man lets you have ready access to his phone any time, the odds are good he is either being faithful, or is too smart to use his cell to talk to his newest friends.
Cheaters Never Prosper
If your guy makes plenty of money, but always seems to be coming up short, you might be onto something. Spending money, and not being able to account for it, is one of the biggest, most obvious signs of cheating men there are. If you're finding receipts he can't explain, or if your guy never seems to have enough money to take you out, he might be spending his money elsewhere. Be careful though - plenty of guys like to keep their finances under wraps. Be sure you've got your ducks in a row if you're planning to confront your man.
Forensic Evidence
If you suspect your guy of cheating on you, take a quick look around. Keep an eye on surfaces in his car, his apartment, and most of all, on him. People shed constantly, and one of the most common signs of cheating men is that he's sure to turn up with unexplainable hair clinging to him, or his upholstery. He might have unexplained marks on his body, and he could even turn up with the proverbial lipstick marks in places your lips have never been near.
Remember, before you make a stand, gather your evidence and get ready to present your case. Are you willing to give him another chance, or would you rather find someone else to love?

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

How to Know If Your Guy is Truly Committed to You

Are you waiting for your boyfriend to put a ring on your finger as a sign of his commitment to you? But you are so frustrated by your partner's avoidance tactics that you think about pressuring him into buying it for you now? Or have you thought about just going ahead and buying the ring yourself because that would save all the hassle? If you've found yourself in this place then one of the reasons could be you're being just too nice.
Being understanding and nice are attributes that most of us aspire to, but things can get out of hand if, because of how understanding you are, you're not getting your guy to commit to you.
If he has said that he'll buy you an engagement ring but it's been months and no ring is on your finger, then the question is how did it get to be so long? And I know from experience that part of the reason is that you have been just too nice and understanding for too long.
So how did you get yourself in this place?
It all starts at the beginning of a relationship when you were trying to keep things good, and being cool him and his needs. So at first you were accommodating, but then over time you noticed that the relationship wasn't moving on as fast as you wanted it to, so you decided to apply a little subtle pressure.
Later that pressure was turned up a notch and your pressure came in the guise of asking him straight out for things you wanted and needed. I mean that's the only way to be in a relationship isn't it? So you asked and he gave his response.
His responses ranged from later, to I'll get to it, to I'll think about it and if he really didn't want to do something he'd get defensive and somehow make you feel bad for even bringing up the subject.
So to keep the peace you accepted his reasons but as time went on, he didn't get to it. So having found that just waiting didn't work, you decided to up the pressure and tell him what you wanted because then at least you'd get it- wouldn't you?
And as much as in theory this sounds like a sound strategy, what you are inadvertently doing is creating a situation where the relationship isn't voluntarily evolving with his input, it's being driven by you and what you want.
And then the habit has set in, when you want something, you'll try hinting, then asking then if that doesn't work, then demanding, to just getting it for yourself. And this subtle shift in your behaviour is hardly noticeable until you want that ring he promised you and it isn't forthcoming.
So now you are in a dilemma because if you force him to buy you the ring, would it really mean that he's committed to you, and if you wait until he wants to buy you the ring will you get it?
So to know if your guy is truly committed to you, let him do things as he would.
Also watch for your pattern of interaction with your guy because the less you find yourself persuading him to do things, the more you're going to be sure that when he does do something, he's ready and willing. It's then you'll know you have a guy who's really committed to you.

Elaine Bothwell as a relationship coach has been helping women attract and create a loving and fulfilling relationship with their ideal man for 10 years now. She also helps women put the spark back into their marriage.
Discover more useful tips and strategies on how to quickly attract your ideal man into your life by getting access for free to a 10 week online course and get your relationship questions answered. Visit http://www.askelainenow.com/blog.
If you have 5 minutes, and want to know what the number 1 secret to attracting your soul mate is plus get your hands on a free report to help increase your irresistibility then click here.

If Your Man Does These, He Madly Loves You

Love relationships are the blessings of God. Every relation has a story and each love story involves two true lovers. If you really want to know whether your man madly loves you or not, you can as well have a glance at these following points that will definitely help you understand that he is madly in love with you.

1. He constantly gazes at you and into your eyes: Well, this one is a sign that he truly loves you from the bottom of his heart! A man who dearly loves a woman will always try to look into her eyes off and on but constantly.
2. He loves to forgive you: If your man ca not stay angry with you for a long period of time, and it is he who first apologizes to you, then it can be safely concluded that he is madly in love with you.
3. He is always cheerful and glad when he sees you: This is an indication that your man definitely loves you. When your man becomes happy on seeing you, it is confirmed that he truly loves you.
4. He uses 'we' instead of the word 'I': On most of the occasions, if your man uses the word we instead of I then be sure he loves you madly and deeply. Even in front of his friends and your friend, he might be saying we always. This is a great sign.
5. He does not fake it and is always real: Your man, who loves you truly and madly, will always be his own self no matter what. He will never ever fake his behavior or himself. He will be always real at every moment.
6. He enjoys doing things that you like: When your man always loves to do things that you like, then you can be sure that he loves you madly and is deeply in love with you.
7. He likes to learn about you: When your man loves you madly, he will always be keen to know more and more about you and everything associated with you.
8. He is damn protective: You man will always try to protect you from everyone if he is madly in love with you.
9. He loves surprising you for no reason: When your man loves you madly, he will definitely like to surprise you every now and then and that too without any reason.
10. He loves to make you laugh: Relationships should never be boring, and he knows that well. He will always want you to laugh and be happy. He will try to make you laugh even if you are stressed out.
11. He loves cuddling you: This is one sign that your man is madly in love with you. He will never stop cuddling you whenever he finds the opportunity to do so.
12. He loves you: It is not an easy task to spot signs of true love. However, you really need to be extremely observant and then only you can understand that your man truly loves you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9464945