Are you waiting for your boyfriend to put a ring on your finger
as a sign of his commitment to you? But you are so frustrated by your
partner's avoidance tactics that you think about pressuring him into
buying it for you now? Or have you thought about just going ahead and
buying the ring yourself because that would save all the hassle? If
you've found yourself in this place then one of the reasons could be
you're being just too nice.
Being understanding and nice are attributes that most of us aspire to, but things can get out of hand if, because of how understanding you are, you're not getting your guy to commit to you.
If he has said that he'll buy you an engagement ring but it's been months and no ring is on your finger, then the question is how did it get to be so long? And I know from experience that part of the reason is that you have been just too nice and understanding for too long.
So how did you get yourself in this place?
It all starts at the beginning of a relationship when you were trying to keep things good, and being cool him and his needs. So at first you were accommodating, but then over time you noticed that the relationship wasn't moving on as fast as you wanted it to, so you decided to apply a little subtle pressure.
Later that pressure was turned up a notch and your pressure came in the guise of asking him straight out for things you wanted and needed. I mean that's the only way to be in a relationship isn't it? So you asked and he gave his response.
His responses ranged from later, to I'll get to it, to I'll think about it and if he really didn't want to do something he'd get defensive and somehow make you feel bad for even bringing up the subject.
So to keep the peace you accepted his reasons but as time went on, he didn't get to it. So having found that just waiting didn't work, you decided to up the pressure and tell him what you wanted because then at least you'd get it- wouldn't you?
And as much as in theory this sounds like a sound strategy, what you are inadvertently doing is creating a situation where the relationship isn't voluntarily evolving with his input, it's being driven by you and what you want.
And then the habit has set in, when you want something, you'll try hinting, then asking then if that doesn't work, then demanding, to just getting it for yourself. And this subtle shift in your behaviour is hardly noticeable until you want that ring he promised you and it isn't forthcoming.
So now you are in a dilemma because if you force him to buy you the ring, would it really mean that he's committed to you, and if you wait until he wants to buy you the ring will you get it?
So to know if your guy is truly committed to you, let him do things as he would.
Also watch for your pattern of interaction with your guy because the less you find yourself persuading him to do things, the more you're going to be sure that when he does do something, he's ready and willing. It's then you'll know you have a guy who's really committed to you.
Being understanding and nice are attributes that most of us aspire to, but things can get out of hand if, because of how understanding you are, you're not getting your guy to commit to you.
If he has said that he'll buy you an engagement ring but it's been months and no ring is on your finger, then the question is how did it get to be so long? And I know from experience that part of the reason is that you have been just too nice and understanding for too long.
So how did you get yourself in this place?
It all starts at the beginning of a relationship when you were trying to keep things good, and being cool him and his needs. So at first you were accommodating, but then over time you noticed that the relationship wasn't moving on as fast as you wanted it to, so you decided to apply a little subtle pressure.
Later that pressure was turned up a notch and your pressure came in the guise of asking him straight out for things you wanted and needed. I mean that's the only way to be in a relationship isn't it? So you asked and he gave his response.
His responses ranged from later, to I'll get to it, to I'll think about it and if he really didn't want to do something he'd get defensive and somehow make you feel bad for even bringing up the subject.
So to keep the peace you accepted his reasons but as time went on, he didn't get to it. So having found that just waiting didn't work, you decided to up the pressure and tell him what you wanted because then at least you'd get it- wouldn't you?
And as much as in theory this sounds like a sound strategy, what you are inadvertently doing is creating a situation where the relationship isn't voluntarily evolving with his input, it's being driven by you and what you want.
And then the habit has set in, when you want something, you'll try hinting, then asking then if that doesn't work, then demanding, to just getting it for yourself. And this subtle shift in your behaviour is hardly noticeable until you want that ring he promised you and it isn't forthcoming.
So now you are in a dilemma because if you force him to buy you the ring, would it really mean that he's committed to you, and if you wait until he wants to buy you the ring will you get it?
So to know if your guy is truly committed to you, let him do things as he would.
Also watch for your pattern of interaction with your guy because the less you find yourself persuading him to do things, the more you're going to be sure that when he does do something, he's ready and willing. It's then you'll know you have a guy who's really committed to you.
Elaine Bothwell as a relationship coach has been helping women
attract and create a loving and fulfilling relationship with their ideal
man for 10 years now. She also helps women put the spark back into
their marriage.
Discover more useful tips and strategies on how to quickly attract your ideal man into your life by getting access for free to a 10 week online course and get your relationship questions answered. Visit http://www.askelainenow.com/blog.
If you have 5 minutes, and want to know what the number 1 secret to attracting your soul mate is plus get your hands on a free report to help increase your irresistibility then click here.
Discover more useful tips and strategies on how to quickly attract your ideal man into your life by getting access for free to a 10 week online course and get your relationship questions answered. Visit http://www.askelainenow.com/blog.
If you have 5 minutes, and want to know what the number 1 secret to attracting your soul mate is plus get your hands on a free report to help increase your irresistibility then click here.
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