4 Ways to Build A Strong Marriage Using Good Love Relationship Advice

If you've been reading and getting your love relationship advice from popular magazines to help your marriage, then you'll know first hand that the love relationship advice they provide can be rather shallow.
Sure you can learn where to bring your spouse for a nice holiday or the different ways to express your love, but what's missing is a good love relationship advice on how to build a strong marriage.
Let me fill that void with 4 useful tips below that you can start using to build a strong marriage.
Build And Maintain Trust
Trust is the core foundation of a marriage, and many marriages break down because of the lack of trust. So while a lot of love relationship advice tell you that trust can develop on its own, there's no harm putting in the extra work to enhance your marriage.
First of all, have integrity. Integrity is the consistency of your character, and examples include calling when you say you will and showing up when you promise to. And avoid making empty promises that you have no intention of keeping.
Get Each Other Involved in Financial Planning
This is one important love relationship advice, because it can get your marriage into serious trouble if you choose not to work on it. Even if there's only one bread winner in the family, both you and your spouse should get involved in financial planning.
Yes, it isn't fun to talk about money issues especially if you two are in debt, but to keep problems at bay, put aside time once a month (while you're doing the bills is a good time) to discuss your financial situation.
Believe me, it gets easier and a lot less stressful the more you two get involved.
Make An Effort to End Your Arguments
Nobody is perfect, and your partner is bound to keep doing the same annoying things to anger you. And very often, the two of you might get into arguments and start yelling at one another.
But the truth is, your ability to diffuse post-argument tension can make or break the relationship. So this tip is a love relationship advice that you simply cannot ignore.
Couples that are married for many years and are still head over heels in love with each other know the importance of ending their arguments. They focus not on how to stop the annoying things from happening, but on stopping their arguments when it happens.
Learn how to end your arguments with your spouse, and you'll be glad you decided to heed this important love relationship advice.
Learn to Communicate Effectively
This is one of the most important love relationship advices, because many marriages end due to poor communication between spouses.
Learn to share your feelings, your plans for the future and you fears with your spouse often, and don't just stick to official matters like when the utility bills are due. That way, you'll develop a sense of intimacy with your spouse that you otherwise wouldn't develop without deep communication.
Keeping a marriage going takes trust, good communication, and attention to the things that really matter. Don't get sidetrack by useless magazine advices because the best love relationship advice isn't all about when to send roses or what to do in bed.

In fact, I am aware of that and if you are keen to read more useful love relationship advice that can help your marriage, then check out more of them at my site at RomancePaper.com [http://romancepaper.com].

The Untold Truth About Love in an Intimate Relationship

The great word spoken by many but understood by few. The word that seems to look mysterious to humanity. I am looking at love from the dimension that many have neglected or still ignorant of. This love issue is what has turned many relationships into a desert and marriages into a wilderness. If only people will take the time and pain to understand what love really is then our lives and homes will be a haven of glory.
LOVE the simple word that has TURNED THE LIVES OF MANY INTO MISERIES AND FEW INTO BLISS. Many are searching for their true love, only to discover not all that glitters is gold. Many have gone into countless heart breaking relationships seeking for this JEWEL due to great ignorance of what love truly is. So many think they have it in their relationships only to discover the illusions in what they assume to be love been misled by their fallacious thoughts.
Why the so many chaos in marriages and love relationships today?The rate of divorce is alarming even among highly respected personalities. The youth of this generation are caught in the cobwebs of LUST AND MISTAKE IT FOR LOVE. Sensations has replaced sanctity and sensuality has knocked out spirituality.
Is love real? Where can it be found?So many books have been written on this subject alone but the tears from broken relationships and marriages are even disturbing the angels above. I want to offer my understanding on this subject from a different angle base on my experience in marriage.
Love is not something to be sought after outside yourself. It is within you. You might not believe this. Love has to do with the personal values you place on yourself and the feelings of emotions backing the values. LOVE HAS TO DO WITH VALUES. Your personal values determine your life worth.
Until you understand this, you will never experience lasting inner peace. No man can devalue you when you love God and yourself dearly. YOUR SELF WORTH IS NOT DETERMINE BY OTHERS BUT BY THE PRICE YOU HAVE PLACED ON YOURSELF. When you see yourself the way God sees you no man or woman can make you feel unworthy. God has placed so much in you due to His love for you. You are the ultimate expression of divine love.
Until you love yourself base on your positive values you may Keep on searching for love from outside source. When people cry of broken heart it amazes me greatly. How on earth did your heart got broken if you did not make it cheap?Love does not make you cheap. It makes you unique.
Base on my research on love relationship, many attribute sex to love. That is really naïve. Too many young unmarried youth in a bid to prove their deluded love go into sexual intercourse only to discover to their horror the great emptiness within and the devaluation of such relationships afterwards. ln a to bid to prove your awesome love to a guy you go to bed with him thinking that will make him to love you the more vice versa. Listen to this weird truth SEX IS NOT A PROVE OF LOVE. Sex is really fun that is enjoyed maximally by those who are legally bonded together in holy matrimonyr. In marriage, there are times sexual intercourse becomes boring and done out of duty than out of desire. At such time, your true love definition comes into play.
You need to look deep down within, DO YOU REALLY LOVE YOURSELF?, DO YOU HAVE STRONG VALUES YOU WILL NOT COMPROMISE FOR ANYTHING ON EARTH?WHERE DO YOU DERIVE YOUR JOY OR HAPPINESS FROM?Your ultimate source of joy should come from within not from any external source. It should not come from your spouse either. True love is constant. It can never change.
If what makes you feel loved is base on external factors you will keep on having problems in relationships. GOD IS LOVE IF YOU HAVE HIM THEN IT'S IN YOU. This means love is really a spiritual thing. It takes simple revelation to understand this. Have you ever wondered about that greatest verse in the Scripture in John 3:16?, "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD. " That is an internally motivated thing. Your love must be internalized before it can be expressed outwardly.
Stop thinking that you must be loved by people, friends, spouse, lovers to feel human. IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF SO MUCH ONLY THOSE WHO ARE OPERATING IN THE LEVEL OF YOUR LOVE FREQUENCY CAN GAIN ENTRANCE INTO THE SECRET CHAMBERS OF YOUR HEART. This is the point where many miss out in this issue of love relationship. If you truly love and value yourself not everyone can be permitted to come into your heart to perform their acts. In a bid to feel loved and accepted you don't let down your guides and guards neither do you compromise your values to please anyone.
In conclusion, you must understand, no one can truly make you joyful or happy constantly. But when you have discovered that true love has to do with divine values on your life and you have accepted yourself for who you are, then you are on the part to know what true love is. It's in you, express it through sound moral conduct and see the same thing flow back to you. God help you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7854108

Love Relationship Tests - Your Guide to Relationship Uncertainties

Have you ever been in love? How and when can you say that it is real love? Are you sure that what you feel is real towards your partner? Everyone is capable of loving and it is true that people need love. When it comes to love, women always do some tests about their men. Women consult love relationship tests in order to determine if they are with the right man.
There are tons of love relationship tests available online. Many women are taking these quizzes for fun while others as a guide. No matter what your reasons are, it is really enjoyable to complete some love relationship tests.
In this article you will discover three of the most common love relationship tests. Each may be similar, but have different sets of questions. The results will be based on the score or the answers you had given.
Compatibility Test
This is a type of test to check if you and your current partner are compatible. There are certain questions about your differences and also the things you both enjoy doing. This is one fun test to do with your friends and partners as well. However, whatever the results may be, do not let it ruin your good relationship. We all know that we are all unique and it is only normal to find differences between your partners. Having a lot of differences does not really mean you are no longer compatible with each other.
Do You Really Love Him?
This quiz has something to do with you. This test is usually taken if you are not sure about how you exactly feel about your man. There are many websites that give out this love analysis. Many times women might be confused on how they really feel about their partner, so taking this quiz might help clear any confusion.
Does He Really Love You?
This online love analysis is the exact opposite of the second test. This time you are the one who is not sure if he really loves you. You may have some doubts about his true feelings toward you so you undergo this quiz. Sometimes you really need to understand a man's behavior to make sure that he is treating you right. However, if you are having a hard time comprehending your man, consulting this type of quiz can be one of your options.
Cheating Test
Cheating is one of the reasons why many relationships fall apart. If you ever have doubts about your boyfriend's loyalty, then this is worth checking out. This is one way to confirm your doubts about your boyfriend. However, if the results had proven that your boyfriend is cheating on you, do not get mad easily with your boyfriend. Tell him about your doubts and let him tell the truth.
Whatever results these love relationship tests give, it must only be used as a guide to make your bonding better. Remember, it will always depend on both of you on how to take your relationship to a higher ground. Still, the most important thing is that you know how to love and to be loved.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

How to Solve All Love Relationship Problems With 5 Standard Steps

Many people think love relationship problems are difficult to solve because schools don't teach you how to solve them, and different problems require a different set of solution.
That's true, but what's also true is that if were you to pay close enough attention, you'll realize that almost all love relationship problems can be solved if you apply some standard steps.
In fact, these 5 standard steps will help you to devise your own advices to solve your problems. And below are those steps you need to take.
Step 1 - Identify The Root Problem
The root causes of many love relationship problems are often obvious, and you'll spot them if you look hard enough. Common problems have to do with money, the kids, or bad habits that irritate the other party. Sometimes, it may be as simple as a lack of romance and physical affection, or a sense of growing apart in the relationship.
Whatever the root problems, take the time and effort to figure out what's putting a strain on your relationship. Once that's done, the rest of the steps will be easier and more straightforward.
Step 2 - Decide if You Want to Deal With It
Trying to solve your love relationship problems by kicking up a big fuss because your partner doesn't help you out with the housework or pays the house bills late once in a while can be ridiculous. But if it's something that hurts you or causes serious financial or social problems, you should deal with it.
That way you won't give resentment a chance to grow.
Step 3 - Time It Right
There's a right time for everything, and that includes solving your love relationship problems. Don't bring up the issue when one of you is stressed out or tired because it only makes the problem seem worse.
Also, don't pounce on your partner with the problem from nowhere because it gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset.
It will also help to say something less confrontational like "Darling, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?" rather than "Look! We need to talk!"
Step 4 - Focus on The Right Thing
Have you ever argued so intensely with someone that you actually forgot what you two were arguing about, but you knew you had to win no matter what? Guess what? It can happen too when you're dealing with your love relationship problems.
Don't focus on winning. Attack the problem and not each other. Your goal is to improve or save your relationship. Talk to your partner with respect and watch your words. And always remember not to turn aggressive.
Step 5 - Take Responsibility for The Problems
A relationship takes two hands to clap, so when a problem arises, don't play the finger pointing game and blame your partner for everything. No matter what you think, you need to accept that something about your own behaviour needs to change too.
Be willing to listen to your partner's side of the story with an open mind, then be willing to negotiate fairly and come to a resolution.
The above steps you just learnt should help you and your partner to solve any love relationship problems that come your way. Feel free to alter them the way that will suit your relationship as no two relationships in the world are alike.

Of course, those are just the standard steps to help you find unique solutions to your love relationship problems. It will always help if you can improve the way you handle your relationship on a consistent basis so that problems won't arise all the time. The best way to do that is to learn about love tips from time to time, and my site at RomancePaper.com [http://romancepaper.com] is filled with the latest tips to help you along.

Benefits Of Healthy Love Relationships

Some people say that love is the answer to everything. During bad times and good times, in sickness or in times of good health, love keeps you in sync with your true self. But did you know that love can also fill you with positive energy and help you to maintain good health? True love is like a natural medicine that redeems you from the pain of living.
Natural stress-reliever: Love is extremely effective in reducing your stress levels. When one is in love and also involved in an intimate relationship, the adrenaline glands produce a hormone called dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), which minimizes a person's stress levels. Passionate love making relieves one from mental tension, negative energy, and also keeps us fit. Sex can help you to burn fat and maintain your cardiovascular health.
Reduction of pain: Love has been proven beneficial in reducing pain as it activates the part of the brain which handles pain in our body. Headaches, back pain or any kind of pain can be extracted away by love. The next time pain overcomes you, you know what to do.
Increase in blood circulation: Do you remember why your cheeks used to turn red when you talked to your crush in high school or had your first kiss? It was because happiness and the feeling of love increase our blood circulation. Similarly, when you are in a healthy love relationship your circulation will improve, resulting in glowing skin, better hair, and a happier you.
Increase in life expectancy: It has been proven in a study that the average single person is five times more likely to die at an early age, as compared to the average married person. It is because married couples feel connected, loved, and have a sense of belonging, which enhances their health manifolds. Also, when you fall ill and you know that someone is there to take care of you and love you then you automatically feel motivated to be better. You have the right attitude and support to overcome illnesses.
Decreases blood pressure: One study found that expressing love either verbally or physically reduced cholesterol in the body. When cholesterol is kept at a healthy level, the blood pressure remains in check. This, in turn, allows us to have a healthy and fit heart, thus, making us live longer.
Quicker healing process: When faced with an injury such as a wound, couples have been found to heal faster than single people. This is again because the blood circulation remains under control, allowing an adequate amount of nutrients to heal the wound over time. Single people took twice as long to heal similar wounds.
Forever young: Our body releases an anti-aging hormone when we experience euphoria and contentment. Therefore, couples look young for longer, as compared to singles.
Healthy love relationships benefit us in numerous ways. Therefore, one must try to be happy and also keep their partner happy while in a relationship.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7073966

Another Love Sale?

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the fact that I got a spam "love is on sale" email. Would you believe that I just got another one from a different site? How many of these love sales are these websites going to have? I have a feeling that all of these factory second sales are making it hard to find the real deal! Do people keep returning their "love" or are they getting a new shipment of fresh love weekly? I find it a little pathetic that there are so many single people that websites have to run sales on them to blow them out?
...It actually says a lot for the way people treat their relationships these days though. They are completely disposable. Of course...they may not have been "love" at all...but who really knows what that is? If a marriage gets hard, people get a divorce...or should I say, take on a third party, get caught...and then get a divorce. If a boyfriend doesn't like our hair, we break up with him and find someone who will! (Which, by the way, we will never find anyone who likes everything about us but many people continue the search for "perfection" while they keep one solid foot in what's there at the moment. Ie: picking up a couple extras at a love sale or something so they don't have to go without in the meantime!)
So what exactly can you get at a love sale?...A sale means "cheap" right?...I suppose that sheds some light on why there are so many "love sales" then. Cheap "love" is extremely easy to find. The bars are lined with rows of it and those racks are stacked to the ceiling!...I can only compare this sort of love to a pair of shoes that you could find for $6 at Payless. They are plastic, but they look all right for the evening if you don't look all that closely. After a night or two out though, there's little left of them worth hanging onto. I suppose you get what you pay for. A coupon that will get me a good deal on something that someone's already worn once and returned to the store doesn't seem like a bargain to me. I think I'll continue to hold out for a one of a kind from a boutique that someone hasn't already gotten deodorant stains on. I think that I'd be more willing to mend it if a button falls off or if I get a little tare in the hem or something.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3332205

Love Notes for Long Distance Relationships

Love can be expressed in many different methods. One timeless way of expressing love is writing love notes. Writing notes, to be specific, a love letter is the classics among all the other ways of expressing one's undying love. Several years ago, couples, who are far away from each other, can only connect through letters and love notes by sending it via post. By writing, you can express your love and longing for each other without hesitation.
Writing letters play a very important role in a long distance relationship. Love notes for long distance relationships are very effective since you don't normally see each other compared to normal couples. As the years pass by, romantic love letters evolved into romantic fax to romantic emails. But for some people, there'll be nothing better than the old and tested romantic love letters.
Long distance relationships are believed to not last and just fail. Yes, it's hard to be in a long distance relationship and survive it yet, it is not impossible. The first important ingredient for a long distance relationship to be successful is communication. Relationship needs nurturing, especially the long distance one. Since couples in long distance relationships need more attention, writing love notes can give little compensation to someone far from their other half.
For those that are having trouble with writing, and is consuming time thinking of any ideas on what to write, here are some suggestions on how you can send love notes full of TLC fit for long distance relationships.
There are different kinds of notes that can surely make her feel special and so much loved. With the popularity of sending text messages because it's fast and cheap, love notes can also be fast and cheap. Send her I love you in the form of SMS everyday to make her feel like you're only a text message away. Don't send her usual quotes which seem insincere. You can just tell her how you feel and it can surely make her feel admired for the rest of the day. If you are a person who is not really busy, instead of texting send her love notes via mail. Do it every day and she will surely adore you more. She will never feel lonely reading simple sweet notes from you.
What to write is another issue at hand. Here is a simple guide on how to write effective, sweet and romantic love notes for long distance relationships.

1. Presentation - You have to present it simple, attractive or extravagant. Use scented or beautifully designed stationery to make it more presentable. Use black or brown ink, avoid using blue, red, yellow or green pens for it is harder to read and see.
2. Sweet Music - Sweet music can make the ambiance romantic, hence it can make you think of good and romantic things to write. Dim light can stimulate your mood to easily pour your heart out.
3. The Date - Always remember to put a date for this letter can be a very good keepsake in the history of your relationship.
4. Start with a Greeting - Use your partner's first name in addressing her and use an endearing salutation to make the letter more romantic. You can also use pet names or his/her full name depending on the drama.
5. Let Your Emotion Flow - Don't hesitate to express yourself. Be honest and sincere on what you really want to say. Believe it or not, truth and sincerity can be sensed even from letters.
6. Seal it with Love - Be neat and never forget those three magic words.

Writing love notes for long distance relationships can patch miles no matter how far it is. Love has no boundaries.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5256288

Costly Love

How much does love cost? Sounds like a silly question doesn't it? (Duh! Everybody knows that love is free, you dufuss!.) Well, before you jump to any conclusions about how love is free and doesn't cost anything, let's think this through a little bit more.
God is love, and He is the ultimate model of love for the world. So we must beg the question, what kind of love did God show us? Well, we could write a book on all the various aspects of God's amazing love displayed for all to see and know at the cross. But to simplify here a bit, one thing that you clearly see with God's love is that it is costly. In fact, it is very costly. For God so loved the world that He gave of Himself, took on fully human form, and paid the highest price that could ever be paid-the giving of His life for someone else. So God's love was very costly.
God's love is not cheap. He could have chosen another route to tell us about His love. He could have chosen a different method. It would have been a lot cheaper (and who doesn't love something cheap, right?). I mean God could've just spoken in audible voice for everyone to hear so that there would be no denying He says. He could've painted us a picture in the sky so that we all could see it. He could've put something mysterious and powerful into the waters of the earth so that we could taste it with our every sip. Yes, God could have done it that way if He wanted to. But would we have appreciated? Wouldn't we have seen it as cheap, common, and ordinary? Wouldn't we have treated it just as cheaply as we do our everyday drinking water, the everyday sounds we hear, and the everyday sights that we see?
That's one of the many things that's so amazing to me about God. He isn't cheap. No! He took what was most valuable and precious to Him and gave it to us, the sacrifice of His son Jesus on the cross. And though we see the cross all the time in church, on Bibles, tattooed on peoples bodies, on candy wrappers, and sometimes around our necks, let's not forget that the cross symbolized horrible, agonizing, exchurasitingly painful death of the worst kind. The cross is not cheap, and neither is God's love. His love is costly, and the scary thing is we are called to love in this same way, with a costly love just like His.
Astonishingly enough, God calls us to costly love. He does not call us to love cheaply, with mere words or good intentions. No, he has called us to love with truth and action (1 John 3:18). Nothing about the love that God calls us to is cheap. It is costly, which means if we're going to love like God wants us to, then our love should ultimately cost us something too. If our love does not cost us, then it is merely "cheap" love.
Cheap love is convenient. Cheap loves demands nothing. Cheap love comes at a small price and is not very valuable to those who have it. Looking around the world and even into our own hearts, it's so easy to see cheap love in non-committal relationships, club scene hook-ups, uncaring marriages, parents who try to control their children's lives and whom would impose their wills on them, in loyalties to money and sports, in judgmental attitudes that hide behind daily smiles, etc. This kind of love is cheap, and God has called us to a way of life that goes beyond what is cheap. He calls us to a costly love.
Costly love is inconvenient to the world around it. Costly love calls for everything that you have. Costly love demands that you be willing to risk it all, even your own life, if necessary. It requires giving at some personal cost to ourselves. And that's hard isn't it? A costly love would require us to change, to commit to another person before engaging in any "romance" or physical activity with him or her, to give of ourselves in our marriages (and sometimes the most loving thing might be ending it), to learn that our kids actually have desires and wants above our own attempts to control them and to think in terms of what they want (that's got to be tough. I'm glad I don't have kids yet), and to let our faces reflect a genuine warmth toward another with no hidden malice in our hearts. Bottom line: to love like that would cost us a great price. In fact, costly love demands the highest price of all, our very lives.
To realize whether our love is cheap or if it's costly, we only have to ask ourselves this question: what does love require me to give? In other words, how much does love cost me? If the answer is anything less than self-denial, self-sacrifice, and self-giving, then our love is cheap. If our answer implies that we are willing to lose our very selves for another, then our love is costly, but more than that, our love is like God's. And isn't that what we all want anyway, to be the kind of person who loves like Him?
The amazing thing about us as people made in the image of God is that there is a part of us that probably already shows costly love. For a hobby, an interest, or a sport we might be willing to give our all and show ultimate discipline to achieve some goal. A man would fight off any attack against his wife or family. Ministers or church workers might be willing to sacrifice time and energy to love the church. Workers might be willing to sacrifice anything for the almighty American dollar. Parents might be willing to work hard and long to make sure that their families are provided for and taken care of (or drive around the world just to take their kids were they want to go). The great thing about all this is when we love at a cost like this, our love is like God's.
However, that's only part of it. It is very easy for us to rest in a manner of loving that comes very easy to us and to think that we're loving people. The challenge for us is to find those areas in our lives where it is hard for us to love at our own personal cost. It's a hard task to find that area where our "costly" love is weak, to admit that we come short, and to take the step of faith and trust toward being a more loving person. With hobbies, interests, and sports, it would mean that we share those to the benefit of others and not to satisfy our own glorious pride and achievement. For a spouse, it means putting yourself aside and thinking of how you can best meet the other person's needs. Workers would think not so much of the glorious income they are earning or the career they are building but would think of all the lives and people that they touch and impact in their world every day. Parents, who would do anything for their children, would put their own wishes, dreams, and attempts to control their kids aside and begin to think in terms of what they could give their children that would increase their joy.
When we all come to love one another like this, what a difference it would make in our world. When we start to live costly love, we might actually experience more of the hand of the Almighty in our lives and feel like we are truly citizens of His kingdom. We would know an inner power in our lives that is Divine and see changes that we thought were not possible. But let's not forget: this type of love that can change a life, change a family, change a community, and even change the world comes at a cost. And the biggest question of all is this: is it a price that you are willing to pay?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2675900

Spirituality, Love & Relationships

Ten years ago I would never have thought I would ever be writing an article about spirituality and relationships. At the time I would have described myself as an atheist or at best an agnostic. I had little or no interest in spiritual matters and spent most of the time using my head to solve problems logically. I had numerous judgements about what I believed were controlling and hypocritical religions. This all came to a painful end when my marriage suddenly failed and I can face-to-face with my insecurities and hidden emotions. With little to fall back on I was thrust into a process of self-discovery and began to ask the bigger questions about life.
The experience of my divorce caused me to open my heart and through a number of relationship workshops run by the Psychology of Vision organisation I began to understand the profound link between our relationships and our spirituality. Although I hadn't been terribly conscious of it in my marriage, there was something important missing in my life. I soon realised it was a lack of spiritual awareness. I also realised that my idea of love was like a commodity - something I would be given by a woman. This made me incredibly dependent on my wife for happiness. When she left me, I was forced to face the emptiness that had been inside me for most of my life. It was my belief in the scarcity of love that was at the core of my problems.
I was soon to be introduced to an idea that transformed my life - that love is not something we gain and lose - it is our essence. Love is who we are, it is our spirit. It defines us. It makes us feel whole. It is unchanging.
The implications of this idea turned everything I knew about love on its head. Our relationship problems do not come out of a personal lack of love but from an inability to know ourselves as love. Our fights and our withdrawal are a denial of our most precious essence. When we know ourselves as love we will feel complete and no longer have to desperately search for it in the world around us. We will learn to love ourselves and be able to form successful and happy relationships with other people. Such an understanding of love also provides us with a simple yet profound explanation for our spirituality. We do not need complex religious doctrines or philosophical ideas to discover our spirituality - we can simply and very naturally embody our loving essence and feel our loving connections with the people and the world (indeed the Universe) around us. The spiritual is not something full of mystery and superstition that lies at a distance or something that we must earn through religious devotion. It is the love that is ever-present in our lives and is available to us when we choose to experience it.
The other critical change in understanding comes when we release love from the constraints of the physical body. When we think of love as spirit, it becomes infinitely bigger than any of us. In the past I thought of love as the result of biochemical reactions within my brain but now I can visualise love as a Universal field of consciousness, of which I am an intimate part. This loving 'field' joins us to everybody and everything rather like a gravitational or magnetic field. Being in a loving relationship with other people and the world around us is therefore our natural state of being. Our suffering comes when we deny this state and believe that we are independent, physical entities. As soon as we disconnect and deny the love that we have for people, we create problems for ourselves. We can think of our relationships occurring on several planes - with a physical, an emotional and a spiritual dimension. In truth these are three manifestations of the same thing, but it can be useful to consider them separately, especially when we are trying to work on certain aspects of our relationships. Such a holistic understanding allows us to consider the whole rather than just the physical person. Working at the spiritual level will always have a positive impact on our physical and emotional relationships.
In a practical sense, the idea that love is our spiritual or divine reality, encourages us to remember who we are. Rather than wonder why we can't find the right partner to love us in the way we want, we can ask ourselves why we won't allow ourselves to feel all the love that is our spiritual birthright. By dismantling our own barriers to our spirituality, we naturally discover the self-love that lies underneath. If we forget who we are, we will project out our lack of love (which is another name for fear) onto the people around us and this will trigger their own sense of scarcity. The chances are that they will then attack us or withdraw from us. The solution to every relationship problem or any other problem we might face in life is therefore to rejoin the people involved and re-discover the loving connection that is our true destiny.
It's not always easy to do this but we can ask for help from God or our higher, intuitive mind. All of us are on an unconscious journey back to the oneness of love and although we might delay our progress, ultimately nothing can stop us. The ideas that I introduce in my website and these articles are designed to assist the process of remembering who we are and forgiving ourselves and the people around us so that we can re-connect with them in a loving bond. At any moment in our lives, a choice for love rather than fear, will help us stay on the spiritual path back home and bring great happiness to our relationships.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1296863

6 Ways You Sabotage Your Love Relationship

You may be pushing your partner out of your life. Your fears, guilt, doubt, past experiences and feelings of unworthiness may drive you to doing and saying terrible things to the one you like or love. Whether you are doing this consciously or unconsciously, you could be pushing away the relationship of a lifetime.
It's time to stop sabotaging your love relationship. You are worthy of relationship happiness. Your partner is not better or worse than you, as you both bring equally important things to the relationship. Here are 6 ways that you are sabotaging your love relationship, and what to do about them.
Unreasonableness
Doing the opposite of what your partner wants for not good reason is not good. At first, it will appear to your partner that you just aren't seeing eye to eye. Eventually, it will become clear to your partner, and everyone else, that you are just disagreeing to be disagreeable. Playing this game has the potential of turning your partner off from you permanently.
Instead, come back to compromise. Whatever anger you are harboring and for whatever reason, ask yourself this: does my partner deserve someone that is acting like this? In situations where you are sabotaging your relationship, you'll immediately see that they don't deserve this. Stop. Apologize. Then give some thought to what fear or past experience you are projecting on to your partner. Then come back to common sense and compromise in everything you do together.
Boredom With Kindness
So your partner is cooking for you....again. Your partner is holding the door open for you...again. Another hug...more kisses...always trying to help with something. If this is bothering you, then it's time to look at yourself. Why is it that a partner engaging in loving action bores you or otherwise annoys you? If this behavior isn't making you happy, consider the opposite behavior and how that would make you feel. By choosing not to be happy with the good things, you are conditioning yourself to find someone that has the bad things. A bad partner always appears to be exciting...at first. Later, you long for the good partner you once had.
Rather than being bored with kindness, appreciate it. There are all too many tales of men and women in relationships that are full of drama, heartache, and emotional ambiguity. Be thankful for the good partner you have. Pushing a partner out of your life like this leads to eventual regret when you discover that you lost the best relationship you've ever had.
Brutal Honesty
There is nothing wrong with honesty. However, everything is wrong with brutal honesty. When you are being brutally honest, you are basically giving yourself license to say something with an element of truth in the most cruel, degrading, insulting and hurtful way possible. When your partner gets upset, you clear your conscious by saying that you were only being honest. Brutal honesty is a cover for tearing your partner down emotionally. It's a way of projecting anger at your partner disguised as a noble attempt at honesty.
Compassionate honesty is the better way to go. Its not so much the message you are delivering that gets your partner upset. Its how that message is delivered. Have the compassion and the patience to be honest with your partner in a loving way. There is no need to tear your partner down to make yourself feel better. Directing disguised anger at your partner is simply misplaced aggression with a back door. The hard truth here is that if your partner gets tired of it, you won't have anyone around to be brutally honest with. That's the brutally honest truth.
Belief That Upset Equals Love
There are those of us that try to make our partners upset. We mistakenly believe that if we are worth getting upset about, then our partner must love us. It's a twisted, self-defeating way of validating ourselves through the emotional torture of another. Why is this method self-defeating? You almost always takes things too far. When your partner gets to the point where they want to leave, that's when you are finally convinced that they love you. That's when you realize what you've done, and then blame your partner for not really loving you in the first place.
This is a great way to feel like you are loved, while pushing the one that loves you right out of your life. People normally engage in this sort of behavior when they feel like they are damaged goods. People who feel like their partner will eventually see them as they really are and leave for someone better also engage is this sort of behavior. A lot of work is needed on one's self esteem to get passed this. A change is required at the belief level to understand what love really looks like and how to demonstrate it. Doing things to purposely push your partner's buttons isn't love all.
Projecting Your Past Onto Your Future
Let's say you've had 3 bad relationships in a row. What are your expectations for the next relationship? That depends. Do you truly understand that each person is different? Do you recognize that you could be selecting the same type of partner over and over again? Or, do you believe that anyone you date will treat you the way your past relationships have? If you believe that the past will become your future, you will sabotage your relationship by looking for clues of bad things to come. When you do this, you always find what you are looking for. A late night at work becomes an opportunity to cheat in your mind. Dinner with friends becomes a cover story for other bad behavior you plan to engage in. Someone showing your partner attention or attraction stirs the thought in your mind that your partner is out flirting with others.
Rather than engaging in this "no win" scenario for your relationships, realize that your current partner is unique. Their behavior will be different from that of your past relationships. Give them a chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Don't assume failure before you even get started.
Ignoring Your Partner / Avoidance
Everything needs attention to grow. However, you're afraid of falling in love with your partner or otherwise getting too close or attached. You decide to put some distance between you and your partner as a way of controlling how far and how fast the relationship goes. All you are doing though is creating confusion and frustration in your partner that could lead to relationship doom.
If you allow fear to keep you away from your partner, then you may not be emotionally ready for another relationship yet. You are putting distance between you and your partner in hopes of protecting yourself from them or from the emotions that come with love relationships. The result can be the loss of a relationship that was never going to hurt you in the first place. Don't participate in a relationship half way. The commitment requires 100% from each person, or it simply will not be healthy and may end.

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