How Can You Tell If You Are in a Toxic Relationship?

Want to know if you are in a toxic relationship? Here are clues:
-Your partner has been putting your down verbally
-Although your partner says they love you. They don't back it up with actions.
-Your partner is very controlling: Reads your mail and texts, shows up at places randomly.
-They try to make you dependent on them.
-If you change yourself just to please them.
People who are toxic, you just don't feel right around them. So, why would anyone want to be in a toxic relationship? With someone who harms them physically and/or emotionally?
Toxic relationships have a cycle. There is the feel good period, followed by a blow up period, followed by a period where you forgive each other and then the cycle beings again.
You are obviously in the feel good period when you first meet your partner. It is not until you get deeper into the partnership that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At this point, it is hard to get out of.
Growing up in a toxic home is one of the main reasons that a person might be the catalyst behind a toxic relationship. They replicate the patterns they have seen through their childhood without even noticing they are doing it. They may genuinely not know better. Some people believe that they are not deserving of happiness.
The first step in getting out of a toxic relationship is to realize you have choices. Lots of people stay in these types of relationships because of low self esteem or depression.
Once you realize this, the next thing to do is stand up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, you were probably taught that it is your fault. Once this is set in, it can be challenging to break away form the relationship, or to even help make the relationship better.
Working in a therapy group helps a lot of people either break out or fix these bad relationships.
There is good news though, there are people that are able to break out of the cycle of a toxic relationship and some even leave to form newer, healthier ones.
Others are also able to stay in the relationship.
Most relationships are salvageable, this is a fact. But sometimes it takes a little space. Sometimes it may take counseling. If both partners try at it though, it is possible to renew your bonds in a beneficial and healthy way.
The first thing you must decide is whether the relationship will improve, or do you have to walk away. If you are not willing to walk away, you will never be able to fix what is dividing the two of you.
Once you do become dependent more on yourself and away from the core of the toxic relationship, you can start to find out what you need from this partnership. Don't annoy or nag your partner but ask simple questions such as "I need your opinion/support".
If you don't get what you are looking for, your partner should know you are prepared to leave the relationship.
A good relationship is a two way street. A toxic relationship, is not. You can change that, but only if you are willing to do so.

Would you like to know more about "How Can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship [http://www.getexloveback.com]?" For more information visit [http://www.getexloveback.com].

7 Ways We End Up in Toxic Relationships

Blind love is likely at the root of all toxic relationships, and it is not the way to choose a partner or spouse. With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open, and avoid becoming a "statistic". Internalizing these things will help us all avoid getting caught up in a toxic relationship with a narcopath.
7 Insights To Internalize:
1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... for the worse!"
So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character?
Here are four character traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?
Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
3. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Physical involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.
It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about it. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc.
Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!
Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship.
Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.
Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There's a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
6. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
7. You pick the wrong person because he/she is still emotionally attached to an ex and now you're involved in a triangle.
To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't fully separated him/herself emotionally from a former partner is the classic example of triangulation. Does he/or she talk constantly about the horrible things his/her spouse has done? Does he/she constantly tell you how much their partner wants them back? Is the ex a re-occurring topic of conversation? Are you often asked to judge the behavior of someone you've never met? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then person cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9538576

Fixing Your Relationship Problem the Right Way

Some very amazing things can happen for you in the next few weeks if you make a solid decision now to fix your relationship problems. When I decided to fix my love life my life was transformed!
Maybe you've been dealt the wrong hand for so long you don't see any use in trying to fix your relationship or get your love life out of a rut. Sometimes trying to cope with your relationship difficulties can blind you to the true magic of getting results.
There is 1 thing you need to know today to fix your relationship problem: Know the root cause of your problem, fix it and see everything in your life catapulted into a higher realm of power.
Nothing will change until you are able to energize your mind with the cure for your love life.
Here's how you know if you have root beliefs with negative blueprints about love:
1. You often find yourself thinking negatively about love/romantic relationships. It is difficult for you to consistently assume you are creating success or you can create the success you want in relationships.
2. No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to attract, meet and keep a potential partner. You feel resentful/stuck and self-pity.
3. You often get into a dating situation where the person you're really attracted to doesn't want what you want. In other words, you are always left with a low-level convenient type of arrangement while dating, ie. Serial daters/Friends with benefits types/ etc.
4. You find yourself with partners who are evasive/controlling. You're often in push/pull situations. You often feel let down and faced with many empty promises.
5. You face breakups often. You're always the person who gets dumped.
6. You have a general belief that men are jerks, lie, cheat, want to be friends with benefits, are losers, and just don't want to commit these days.
7. You are always worried while you're in relationships. You tend to give of yourself completely and not get your feelings reciprocated.
8. You find yourself stuck in unsatisfying relationships where your partner(s) doesn't commit to you the way you know you deserve.
9. You're find yourself getting pulled in when you feel attraction for someone you think could make a great partner. It's difficult or impossible for you to control your emotions and you often see yourself creating a make belief relationship even if it's only been a few dates.
10. You make bad decisions often. When relationships are new, you agree to things like sex because you believe it will bring your partner closer. You believe it will make your partner want you more.
11. Sometimes you find yourself keep moving towards someone even if they keep rejecting you and it's difficult to have self-control. You find yourself craving for attention and will end up contacting your partner excessively. For example, too many phone calls, text messages, emails.
12. You talk about your relationship pain often or you get together with individuals who encourage your feelings of anger, hurt, pain and frustration by making partners you're with to blame for not responding to you the way you'd like.
You're told to communicate more and act a certain way, but these tools are useless if you have underlying emotions blocking you from being effective.
Trying to fix or save a relationship is about using a step by step system to get rid of what's causing you to feel the pain of fear and frustration and getting you the results you really want.

If you've had enough of pointless ideas and want to really fix your relationship problems, take 2 minutes to click on the next link to get a preview of how to really turn your relationship around. Click here now [http://www.therootcauseofbreakups.com]

Handling Your Relationship Problems

RELATIONSHIP AND RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
It appears or so it seems that there must be a relationship problem in every relationship. This is one aspect in relationship that very many people pray they will never experience. But be sure and understand that the only place where relationship problems will not occur is a place where there is no relationship at all. No matter how small or casual a relationship looks like, there are problems associated with it. The earlier you learn this truth the more prepared you would be when these problems arise. Most times while we find it difficult to get along again with our partner after having a relationship problem is because often than not we don't prepare for them before they come. Actually nobody ever wishes to experience any problem in his or her relationship but we can never no matter how we try run away from relationship problems. While I want this stuck in your head is for you to understand that it is not a strange thing for you to be passing through this kind of relationship problems. Have you heard of the saying that says that "what goes for the duck is also good for the geese" meaning that somebody somewhere is also having a serious challenge in his or her own relationship. You see, you are not alone on this side of the ship. Yes there are some persons whose relationship problems are more terrible than the one you might be thinking that you have. So my dear relationship problems are actually one of the features of relationship. Though you are free to pray not to have these problems at all but my candid advice is that you should create a room for it in your heart. i don't mean you should harbour or create problems for yourself, but to know what to do when it eventually comes. This will enhance you with the utmost wisdom you will need to handle the situation maturely. Don't worry, no matter what it is, it will soon wear out like the snow when the sun smiles.
CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
Now, having understood that relationship problems are part of the ways of a relationship. Let's now look at reasons why a relationship would always have challenges. There are lots of relationship problems scattered all over the world. So it will be very difficult trying to enumerate all the relationship problems and what causes them. But I will try and see how best you will be helped in discovering those things you must have neglected that are trying to cost you your relationship. It is until you discover the cause of your problem you may not exactly know how to handle them.
There is another fact I would want to make you understand. Sometimes when people start having problem in their relationship, they more often than not exonerate themselves from being the cause of the relationship problem, they only see a greater percentage of the problem in the other person. Let me share with you some pivot reasons why most relationship have problems. Perhaps you would have a deeper understanding of your situation.
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
This is one of the millions and billions of reasons while people are having relationship problems. Before you can walk or work with anybody, there must be a sense of understanding. Because you have refused to understand your partner, wife children, parent, siblings, friends, etc. that is why it looks as if the issue you are having now would not be resolved. What does it mean to understand? It means that both of you or all of you that are involved in the relationship are seeing things from different angles. When you say cheese and your partner says nuts, I don't think that there is any agreement at all. If you look critically into the relationship problems you are having now, you will discover that you are lacking understanding or rather you are refusing to understand and agree about some matters with your partner. Most times when you disagree, you will hardly see your own mistakes that contributed to your relationship problem, all that your eyes will be opened to is the faults and problems caused by your partner or spouse. It is also the same in his or her own side.
TOLERANCE
Tolerance simply means being able accommodate, being able to condone no matter what. Are you so disciplined that you don't take shit from anybody? Are you so careful that you don't want to accommodate any weakling in your life or business? How about your idiosyncrasy? Maybe you are a perfectionist at several points? These are some of the things that can engineer lack of tolerance in your relationship and where there is no tolerance there must be a lot relationship problems. It is as simple as that, when there is no tolerance, relationship problems settle as fast as they could. This issue of lack of tolerance has shipwrecked and sunk a lot of relationships. I do hope dear that you will not have to tell stories about that. How do you handle it you asked? Don't worry we shall deal with it shortly but let's look at another point that causes relationship problems.
EVIL COMPANY
Show me your friend and I will tell you exactly who you are and what you are capable of. Sixty percent of relationship problems encountered today are caused by wrong and evil advices gotten from friends. Do you want to solve your relationship problems? Then check out who are your best pals and how they have influenced your life. If you have not considered them worthwhile, I strongly suggest that you run away from them; especially those that will always advice you on how not to reconcile with your partner, those that will want the relationship problem that you are having to linger more than it is supposed to be. Do you read the bible? Then look at 1st Corinthians 15:32. It reports that evil company corrupts good manner. Be wise dear!
LACK OF MONEY
Once, a teenage girl said, "How can a relationship be sweet when there is no money." Money of course brings a lot of good moments into a relationship, in the house, family, company, etc. but that does not mean that it is what matters most. Maybe you are the type that cannot endure hardship. Probably because there is no more money, you are now causing lots of problems between you and your spouse, parents, friends, etc. this is tragic! Some wives divorced their husbands because he is no longer bringing much money to the house again, I am pretty sure that you are not among that category. If you are then there is an urgent need for you to retrace your steps now. Let us try and see how we are going to handle these issues.
HANDLING YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS
I am going to briefly look at these points that I raised above so that we can start from there. If you want to be free from any relationship problems, then you must know how to be a man of understanding. Don't always be the right person but consider your partner in every and any matter or issue. Now let me tell you what happens when you misunderstand, you seem to exaggerate and compound your partner's blunder with respect to what is causing the relationship problem. You can hardly see your flaws and mistakes; all blames will be channeled to him or her.
For you to understand you must be able to listen and be patient with him or her. You must learn to appreciate his or her input in the relationship and also encourage him even when it seems that his best does not satisfy you. Always remember that it takes two to agree, so when you don't agree there may never be a remedy for your relationship problem.
You must learn how to accommodate his or her weaknesses, some men are very fond of pointing out other persons mistakes rather than their strength, this will only generate strife and compound your relationship problem. No man is perfect including you. There were times people tolerated your own flaws and mistakes and they accommodated you, they did not quarantine you nor raised dust over your head. Make room for your spouse mistakes; discipline yourself as to condone his or her weakness until the desired change is seen. This will make you to facilitate the help you give to him and you will never find yourself in a position of capitalizing on his or her mistakes to make relationship problems where they don't really exist.
Be careful about the company you keep. Be watchful over those you can proudly present as your friends. They, to a large extent determine your actions and your decisions. Have you realized that some characters are contagious? Maybe you are not keeping late nights but now you enjoy it. Was not a suggestion from a pal or a life style of one of your good pals? Quit evil company and communication and deal with your relationship problems so as to enjoy your relationship.
Do you have money please don't squander it, spend it wisely. But if you don't have, please do not go stealing. Be patient and work hard money will still come. Do not base the happiness of your relationship on money so that its absence will not cause any relationship problems. Both or all of you should put your heads and hands together and then sooner than you are expecting it, money wouldn't be a problem anymore.
Until you deal with your relationship problems, you may not have a sweet and lasting relationship so I want you to be committed in bringing back happiness into your relationships. Clear the wrinkled faces and let them shine with smiles. There is no point in allowing your sweet and wonderful times in the past to suffer because of relationship problems. I know very well that you can handle it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7307268

9 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

Is your relationship going downhill? Maintaining a relationship is not easy and most couples encounter a few bumps along the road to a lasting relationship. If not recognized earlier, these bumps could push couples to take the relationship to the wrong direction leading to break-ups or divorce. It is important to recognize these relationship killers ahead of time to avoid further damage. There are reasons why relationships fail and once these reasons are recognized ahead of time, you'll have a better chance of saving your troubled relationship. Although no one can enumerate all the reasons why relationships fail, we have listed here the top reasons. So what are these relationship killers?
Poor or lack of communication. One way to connect with each other is for couples to have a strong and regular communication. Couples tend to drift apart due to poor or lack of communication. Many relation problems start with lack of communication. Assuming that you know what your partner or spouse is thinking is dangerous to your relationship. Misunderstandings and arguments are often the result of not communicating with your spouse or partner. If this is happening in your relationship then you should know that this is one of the reasons why relationships fail and you have to do something to improve the communication in your relationship.
Not supportive with each other's goals, ambitions and careers. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the issues with careers and ambitions between couples. When two people in a relationship have different goals and ambitions and cannot compromise or support each other, the relationship may suffer in the end. It is given that two people naturally have different ambitions and careers to pursue but in a relationship, it is best to support each other's interest or careers to avoid strain in the relationship. It is easier to make the relationship work with a partner or spouse who believes and supports their spouse's or partner's career. If 100% understanding, acceptance and support is not possible, at least a partner or spouse should be open to compromise and willing to find a work around to make both their careers and relationship work. Sacrifices and compromise is inevitable. Of course, both should know how to balance their careers with their love life. It is easier said than done but it is not impossible. There are couples who are both successful in their careers at the same time lead a happy and strong relationship.
Not getting along with your partner's friends and family. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the conflict with people closest to your spouse or partner. Let's face it, the world does not revolve around you and your partner alone. There are people around you like friends and families that both you and your partner cannot live without. Not getting along with people closest to your partner can put a strain in your relationship. A situation where you and your partner's mother or best friend can't see each other eye to eye or can't stay in the same room can be really stressful in the relationship. Holiday dinners and family gatherings can be difficult if you are not in good terms with your spouse's family and friends. If you want to create a long-lasting relationship with your partner, it is best to get along with people important to him or her.
Life's issues and baggage. There are life's baggage and issues when brought to a relationship can cause damage. A lingering ex can ignite jealousy, suspicion and distrust that can put a strain in your current relationship, so it is best to be clear with your ex that everything is already in the past and that you are serious with your current relationship. Comparing your current relationship with your previous relationships is also dangerous and damaging to your relationship. Children and issues from previous marriage can be challenging and can also affect your relationship so it important to know how to handle these things and make your current relationship work. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the failure to deal with your life's issues and baggage.
Money issues. Financial issues is one of the reasons why relationships fail. If not addressed properly, money issues can kill your relationship. The stress brought by financial woes and struggles can eventually ruin a relationship. People or couples stressed with financial issues can become irritable, irrational, hostile and cold with their spouse or partner and these behaviors can slowly kill a relationship. It is best to be honest from the start about your financial status, be open to discuss each other's spending habits, money sharing and expenses. With effective and open-minded communication, strategies and compromise about money, a financially challenged couple can work things out and can save their marriage.
Infidelity. Keeping a relationship between two people is hard enough but involving a third party or cheating a partner is a bomb that can instantly kill a relationship. Infidelity is the ultimate relationship destroyer and some relationships won't be able to survive this. Betraying the trust of your partner is one of the top reasons why relationships fail. The feeling of being replaced or being betrayed is not easy to cope with and so the betrayed spouse or partner often walk out of the relationship. Although there are couples who were able to survive cheating and make the relationship work again, it is best to not to commit infidelity in the first place if you want a long-lasting relationship.
Disgusting behaviors and habits. Although it is true that loving someone includes accepting all his or her flaws, in reality there are habits that can become annoying over time and can push your partner to wake up one day and realize he or she wants to get out of the relationship. Even simple things like not putting back the toothpaste cap, not making the bed, not putting the soiled laundry in the laundry bin or leaving dirty shoes and socks around the house can be magnified if things are not going well in your relationship and these can trigger your partner to finally end the relationship. Nagging, being a war freak, fighting in public, humiliating your spouse or partner, name calling or cursing when arguing, holding on grudges, hitting your spouse or partner when you are angry, throwing things when arguing, too much or unreasonable jealousy, avoiding discussions about the issues in your relationship, lying or being dishonest with your spouse or partner are some of the bad behaviors that can damage a relationship and could lead to break-ups or divorce. Being in a relationship should teach couples to be better people and not become worse so it is better to change for the better to create a strong relationship than acquire unfavorable habits or behaviors that can eventually damage your relationship.
Things in your relationship becomes a routine. The fire and excitement in the relationship could die because you became too comfortable or complacent with each other that things become more of a routine than an act of love. You become more like siblings or friends than lovers. Being too comfortable with each other takes away the excitement and the romance in the relationship and it makes the relationship boring and a routine. When couples do the same things together over and over again, they stopped growing as an individual and as a partner. Break the routine and spice up your relationship. There are things and interests that you can do separately to grow as a person and there are things that you can do together to bond with each other. It is important to allow your spouse or partner to have his or her own space to do his or her own thing or enjoy the company of his or her friends but it is also important to have time alone with each other through regular dates or vacations to bond with each other and create new and exciting memories.
Lack of intimacy and sex. Life can become too busy and complicated that couples may end up too busy or stressed for intimacy or sex which is not a good thing in a relationship. Couples need to connect intimately emotionally and physically and the best thing to do it is through sex. Sex could dry up in a long-term relationship and couples tend to have less sex through the years. Couples should prevent this from happening. Lack of intimacy or sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why relationships fail. When couples stop having sex, they tend to get disconnected and detached from each other and they become susceptible to infidelity. It is best for couples to maintain an active sex life to keep the connection and make the relationship more alive and exciting. Although it is important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner through regular sex, couples should know that it is not good to put pressure on your spouse or partner to engage in frequent sex. You don't have to have sex everyday but there are studies saying that having regular sex once a week is ideal and enough to maintain that intimate connection between couples. There are many hindrances to accomplish this like stress at work, stress in everyday life, taking care of the children and the state where you are not in the mood for sex but like any other issue in your relationship, the frequency and timing of having sex should be discussed and planned. Intimate connection through sex is vital in every romantic relationship and when couples are not having enough connection through sex, they have to do something to fix this problem to save the relationship.

Are you having trouble dealing with a difficult or troubled marriage? Visit Saving a Troubled Relationship

Relationships: Why Do Some Men Suffer In Silence When They Are Abused By Women?

When someone thinks about abuse, there is a strong chance that they will think about what some men do to women or how some parents treat their children. But if this is not the case, they might think about men who are abused by women.
The reason they are more likely to think about this kind of abuse is because these are things that receive a fair amount of exposure. Along with this, women are often seen as the weaker sex and children are dependent on their parents.
A Common Outlook
On the other hand, men are often seen as people who are incapable of being harmed by the opposite sex. This partly comes down to the fact that they are generally physically stronger than women.
Based on this, there is going to be no reason for someone to believe that men can be abused by women. It would be similar to saying that parents can be abused by their small children.
Experiences
What could add to this is if a woman has been abused by a man or if they know a woman who has been. This can cause them to believe that men are the only ones who are capable of being violent and manipulative.
They will know what it is like and their view can then be seen as the truth, and it then won't matter what else takes place. If this was to occur, it could be said that their emotions and beliefs are getting the better of them and it is then not possible for them to think clearly or to embrace new information.
A Closed Mind
One could then come across information goes against what they believe and they could block it out. Alternatively, a man could talk about how men are often abused by women and he could end up being criticised and/or ignored.
And this is also something that could take place if another woman was to talk to them about it. Yet while a woman can act in this way, it doesn't mean that men will always have the opposite outlook.
Disbelief
A man could say that there is no way that women could abuse them or any other man for that matter. They could say that the only way this would happen to a man is if they are 'weak'.
Thus, it will be important for a man to 'man up' if they were to find themselves in this position. One way of looking at this would be to say that they are likely to be someone who believes that men should act one way and women should act another way.
Emotions
The only way for a man to be a man will be for him to be strong at all times and to to hide how he feels. Through having this perspective, they may also say that women are the emotional ones.
Crying is then not something that both sexes can engage in, and if a man does cry he can be seen as being less of a man. What this could then mean that t
his is man who doesn't have a healthy relationship with his emotions and that he is caught up in the past.
Reality
However, no matter what women or men think, there are men who have experienced abuse and men who are experiencing it right now. The idea that many people often have of men makes it harder for them to get the assistance that they need.
A lot has been done to change how women are seen and treated in the western world, and this has meant that the challenges that men face have often ended up being pushed to one side. Therefore, while certain problems have improved, other problems have been created in their place.
Different Types
Still, it could be said that this is normal part of life and that as time passes; this is something that should gradually balance out. And when it comes to the abuse that some men experience, it can be physical, verbal, sexual and/or emotional.
A man can then be hit but as it is coming from a woman, he is unlikely to fight back. Yet he can also be gradually worn down through being put down on a consistent basis, and this can also take place when he is around his friends and family, for instance.
Self-Esteem
This can then end up changing how he sees himself, and the strength that he needs to do something about what is taking place will end up disappearing. What this will then do is make it easier for a woman to control him.
Even so, this doesn't mean that other people will realise what he is going through, and this is because he could keep it to himself. What other people could notice is that he is not like he used to be, as he could be depressed and/or no longer want to spend time with them.
Reaching Out
How they feel about what is happening is then building up within them and this is causing them to suffer. The trouble is that not only can they feel ashamed as a result of being abused; they can also feel too ashamed to let other people know what is taking place.
If they were to open up, they could end up being laughed at and/or not taken seriously and it could then cause them to feel even worse. Their image is then going to be effected and it will be another area where they are humiliated.
Awareness
The support that they desperately need is then not going to be provided and they will feel as though they are by themselves. Fortunately, it is a lot easier than it was before to receive the right support, and this is largely down to the internet.
If one is with someone who is abusive, it imperative that they reach out for support and don't allow themselves to suffer in silence. There are websites and helplines that provide assistance, and there are also therapists and councillors available who are trained in these matters.

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.
To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

3 Tips to Win Your Girlfriend Back

After a breakup you should be prepared to compromise on important issues while respecting your girlfriend's request for time alone. Read three tips to help win your girlfriend back.
Compromise On Important Issues
There are important, underlying problems that resulted in your breakup up. Often, people reconcile and try to move forward without addressing the real reasons that led to the breakup. It leads to multiple breakups until the issues are ultimately resolved or the relationship comes to a definitive end.
Your focus is most likely on reconciling, but it's important to give equal attention to what caused your breakup. View your relationship and breakup from your girlfriend's perspective. Identify what her most important issues are, and be ready to reach a reasonable compromise.
Don't Invade Her Comfort Zone
If your ex has asked for space, and time apart it's important to respect her request. Allowing time apart is one of the most difficult obstacles following a breakup. You don't want the relationship to end, so allowing the separation to take it's course may seem counter intuitive.
Some men will try to side step her request by communicating through a third party like a friend or family member. What some don't take into consideration is how an ex will respond to this behavior.
Women consider close friends and family members as part of their support group. They've most likely discussed intimate details about the breakup with them. Trying to communicate through her support group will feel like an invasion of her privacy and most likely drive her further away.
Improve Without Making Drastic Changes
When trying to improve yourself after a breakup, keep in mind it's usually the effort and not drastic changes that receive the most praise. Your girlfriend loves certain aspects of your personality that she doesn't want changed.
Trying to improve yourself by losing a few pounds, or dressing better is always a good idea. Your ex will view you in a slightly different light and still consider you as an attractive partner. But drastic changes can alienate her attachment to you and also portray the changes as an act of desperation.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2155610

Types of Counseling For a Better Relationship

Would your relationship profit from some counseling? Regardless if it is premarital, marriage, or family problems, counseling may help you if you discover that certain areas of your relationship need repair. Contrary to what you may expect, a relationship without conflict may still gain a lot from counseling. Having an argument or problem with someone does not mean that the relationship is not good, instead, it is the way that the conflict resolution is handled that determines the quality of the relationship. In fact, relationships with little arguments and fights are more likely to end in divorce.
Counseling is not exclusively for people with high stress relationships. Even if you have just few problems in your relationship, if you find you are unable to handle them on your own, counseling may be the right way to do so. It can give you a better understanding of your situation that you would not find on your own, and better insight on how to handle problems in the future.
Counseling is not intended to take the place of traditional support groups, like your family, friends, etc. Rather, it is intended to augment those support groups, as well as to take over where that support ends. They also help you better manage your relationships with these support groups in connection with your partner.
The type of counseling you should seek depends on your situation. Most couples begin with couples or family counseling, so that the therapist can study the interactions between partners or among the different family members. If it is revealed during counseling sessions that one person prevails over the others, he or she may be given individual counseling to single out that individuals' concerns.
In group counseling, several couples communicate with the guidance of a counselor. These couples often have shared experiences that they can better understand in the context of meeting other couples. This is an advanced technique, commonly endorsed to couples after their key concerns have been clarified through couples, family or individual counseling. In these sessions, you create new support groups to sympathize and help you in your relationships. In this way, you get the greatest benefits from counseling.

To learn more about group counseling or other types of relationship therapy, visit WCCCLA.

Dealing With the Ghost in Your Relationship

Things just aren't right and you can't get your relationship on track. You love each other, but somehow you feel like you can't seem to win for losing. No matter how much you try the distance increases and the frustration builds. You may have been to see a counselor or even several. You may have gone week after week or maybe only one session yet the difficulties continue. You say you can't communicate, but what if the issue really isn't communication? Maybe that is just a symptom of something else.
Not uncommonly how we were raised, what we experienced in childhood, how we were treated growing up has an impact on how we get along in our intimate adult relationship. How we managed in our childhood sets the stage for how we manage and what we expect in adulthood.
Like an arrow set forth, our life has a trajectory and we carry our childhood experiences, expectations and coping strategies right into our grown up relationships. However, what may have worked for managing in childhood, may serve as the very problem for how we get along in adulthood.
Counseling tends to focus on the here and now; current behavior and patterns of communication. As such, it is not likely to uncover the more deep seated and long standing issues that are at the core of present day problems.
Marital therapy is designed to go deeper and further back. However as practiced by many, the process can take months to years as the therapist provides the opportunity for couples to develop rapport with the therapist to eventually and spontaneously disclose deeper hidden truths long kept secret.
A lot of couples drop out feeling that their discussions in the therapy room only mimic their circular arguments at home. In other cases, the couple feels like just when they are getting somewhere, the time is over and they lose the momentum from one meeting to the next. They feel like the experience is useless and this creates a greater sense of frustration and distrust in the very concept and process of therapy.
This is when people call me. They read about my approach and how my first session is a good three hours long. They recognize that to not lose momentum, to have an extended opportunity to get their story out in one session is of tremendous value. The other difference in my practice is that I ask questions. People aren't just expected to chat freely while the therapist only listens. It's not that I don't listen, but I am listening to the responses to very important questions, questions about their lives and childhood experiences.
I routinely conduct an extensive individual and family history taking procedure, trans-generational in nature and probing for issues related to mental health, physical health, addictions, violence/abuse, quality of relationships, developmental histories, personality styles, etc. I am looking for or assessing issues that may be either contributory or intervening variables to the presenting problem.
Like the physician who certainly asks how you feel, yet goes on to examine and gather information, my approach is active and less dependent upon the hope that over time you may disclose something of relevance from your past. I ask and gather information directly just as the physician would surely take your pulse, temperature and blood pressure as opposed to letting you only talk on about your symptoms.
It is amazing how freely people will talk about their past and experiences kept secret for years when in a supportive environment. It is also amazing how couples learn so much more about each other, history to better understand present day issues. The process helps build empathy from once was frustration.
Couples are then provided strategies to mitigate the ghosts from the past to learn and manage their adult lives more reasonably.
A common refrain from my clients is that they learn more in one meeting with me, than in years of therapy with anyone else:
Jacob and Janice had been married 14 years. They had three children despite a very intermittent intimate life. They had been to numerous other therapists and Jacob had also been in individual therapy for years.
Asking a myriad of questions, it seems that Jacob's parents weren't very involved in his upbringing. His father was a womanizer and drinker. His mother suffered depression and spent days at a time in bed.
When asked if either Jacob or Janice had ever been touched in a way that might be deemed inappropriate, Jacob froze and then nodded his head. I quietly asked if he could speak about it and he did. Janice looked on silently with amazement.
Jacob disclosed having been molested when about 5 or 6 years old by a neighborhood boy several years older than him. Jacob sobbed as he disclosed some details. Janice, who had grown distant over the years because of Jacob's lack of intimacy drew closer to him and took his hand. She said she was so sorry that she didn't know. This was Jacob's first disclosure of this incident.
I talked with Jacob about this experience in the context of his broader childhood family issues, his vulnerability and lack of support. Despite his feelings, it wasn't his fault and even if the attention felt special for him then as a child this was to be considered normal in the context of limited parental attention. There was plenty to discuss and the time available provided the opportunity. We addressed several ghosts in their relationship and how to manage differently than they had. Jacob and Janice expressed their appreciation for the meeting. We met two other times, also extended meetings. It was sufficient to resolve their intimacy issues.
Therapy is a bold choice by couples seeking to improve their relationship. What couples may not realize is that there are many approaches to therapy, some more suited to their needs than others. We want couples to make informed decisions as to their choice of therapist. These days many companies offer therapy services as an employee benefit, and while the cost may be favorable, the approach of the assigned therapist may not be helpful. Value is not in the cost, but the outcome. While no one can guarantee the outcome, couples are still advised to ask questions about one's approach to choose wisely.
The sooner the ghost in your relationship is laid to rest, the sooner you can get on with life together. Some approaches and therapists will help you deal sooner rather than later.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9527244

Body Language Attraction - The Secret to Attracting Women

Women are far more in tune with reading non-verbal communication like body language attraction cues than men (at least 10 times better, in fact). In most cases, they can already tell what kind of guy you are just by reading your body language - BEFORE you even open your mouth.
That's why mastering and developing strong masculine body language attraction skills is one of the best things you can do for your "game". Luckily, body language attraction is easy to learn. So pay close attention, and be sure to practice what you read here until it becomes second nature. First things first. Let's think for a minute about what kind of SIGNALS we want to send with our body language attraction cues as men that women find attractive and can't resist RESPONDING to.
1. Confidence: It's well known that women are attracted to confident men. Nobody wants a wuss, so stop kissing up to women, and let your inner masculine confidence shine through. Luckily, this is easy to do using the specific body language attraction skills you're about to learn.
2. Indifference: Like men, women tend to want what they can't have. Think movie stars and actors. Even though they aren't all great looking, their perceived value is high, because many women want them. So, in order to be attractive to women, you need to act like a man who has plenty of women already. And how do men who have plenty of women act? They act INDIFFERENT towards most women because they assume they can have them.
3. High Social Status & Independence: Women are naturally attracted to high status alpha males and leaders. They find it very hard to resist men that don't just "follow the crowd", but do their own thing. Men that are NEEDY and DEPEND on women are not naturally attractive.
So, how do we send these signals, and what EXACTLY can we do to create body language attraction? Here are 5 tips:
1. Lean back: Make her earn it. Just do what "Fat Joe" says. A lot of guys make the mistake of leaning in towards a woman when they talking. Once you're in a conversation, lean back and let her come to you. Leaning in makes you come across as needy, and needy is NOT attractive. Leaning back makes you appear secure and confident.
2. Keep eye contact: Eye contact is a really big thing when it comes to body language attraction. Once again this comes back to confidence. You'll notice if you look around that confident people always assume consistent eye contact with people they meet, no matter who it is.
Keeping eye contact shows that you're not intimidated by a beautiful women. When most guys start this, they get a little nervous that things might become awkward, but trust me, it's not as hard as it sounds.
When you keep eye contact with a woman, it signals that you're confident and a little bit different, because most guys won't do this. She'll be intrigued by you. If she breaks a smile, keeps your eye contact for more than a few seconds, or if she looks down, these are great signs, because it means she's probably into you.
3. Have good posture: Confident men stand up straight. Slouching not only makes you seem less confident, but less masculine and less attractive. Closed body language like this is not attractive at all. So open up your posture. Keep your legs slightly wider than shoulder width, your shoulders back, and your chin up.
4. Slow movements: Nothing portrays a lack of confidence in a man more than fidgeting. Masculine men who are INDEPENDENT and have their lives under control move slowly and take their time. They don't fidget, and they ATTRACT WOMEN because of it!
5. Smile: I think of smiling as my secret weapon. Guys that smile automatically portray confidence, and are more attractive to women. So stop trying to put on that tough guy face and smile, but don't just give her a silly grin. Practice giving her a "knowing" smile, like you would smile at her if you knew a funny secret about her or something.
Do me a favor now...
We're going to do a little exercise in body language attraction. I want you to think of a movie character who women find WILDLY attractive. Think Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Or Tom Cruise in Top Gun. Women go crazy for them. Not only because they're good looking, but MORE because of they carry themselves.
I want you to go rent those movies, and watch very carefully how they use the body language attraction cues listed above. Women come easy when you use body language like that.
Next, I want you to pretend you're one of them for a day, and walk around with that EXACT body language. Do some practice in the mirror first if you want. But DO IT. Chances are you'll notice right away that women will start acting differently around you. This is really POWERFUL stuff!
Make sure you keep practicing these body language attraction techniques until they become second nature. It might take a while, but when it comes to attracting women, if you want results, you have to commit yourself to learning how to get them.

If you're interested more powerful body language attraction [http://www.doubleyourdating-ebook.info/] tips, and cracking the "code" to attracting and dating the kind of women most men only dream of...and how you can do it NOW, click here [http://www.doubleyourdating-ebook.info/].