Friendships are very important. The older you get, the more you
treasure and value true friends. You often share your innermost secrets
with your friends. Consequently, it's devastating when someone you
trusted turns out to be someone so evil, you don't even recognize them
anymore. The pain from this type of betrayal rivals what you'd
experience if you discovered a romantic partner was secretly trying to
harm you, while pretending to protect you. This is a very devastating
experience, and it's one that's happening far too frequently nowadays.
(It's my personal opinion there's a spiritual component to the rash of
disorderly, anti-social behavior we're seeing.)
Several years ago, after a devastatingly betrayal by a close family member, I stumbled upon an article about emotional vampires. Further reading led me to learn more about malignant narcissism. Then, I realized the description closely matched these behaviors. Women (and men) who psychologically abuse others are not well themselves. They typically suffer from what psychologists call personality disorders, such as malignant narcissism or narcissistic sociopathy. There are other conditions as well, such as borderline personality disorder, a close cousin, and histrionic personality disorder. A common thread that runs through all of them is poor impulse control and inability to maintain relationships.
Normal, healthy and happy people do not try to make life difficult for those around them. But the personality-disordered women described above often go out of their way to do so. A malignant narcissist/sociopath (narcopath) will take months, if not years, planning and plotting for just the right time to strike. She will never do anything unless she's assured of "victory."
For a female narcopath, this means ruining her target's other friendships and separating her from important people in her life. She accomplishes this by telling outrageous fabrications, designed to make the target look bad. The lies, gossip, character assassination and other destructive maneuvers are often what we see when a friendship blows apart. This is malignant narcissism and sociopathy playing out, as the female bully shifts her gears into discard mode. This serves a dual purpose for the female bully. First, she gets to watch her target suffer, since what she's done is very cruel. (Narcopaths derive pleasure from other people's pain.) With everyone questioning the target's actions and motives, the narcissist can now count on them not to offer any resistance when she launches a full-scale attack, designed to destroy the target. Relationships are only games to a narcopath. She is paranoid and always believes everyone is either "on her side" or against her, like a game of Red Rover. She wants to win at all costs. She views people as objects to be added or removed at her will. She lacks any moral fortitude whatsoever, and as such, has no qualms or remorse in using deception and manipulation to turn others against her target. She revels in the fact she can manipulate others into believing her lies. Psychologists call this type of behavior "relational aggression."
It was once thought that this behavior was predominately seen in men, but it is becoming more clear that this was an incorrect assumption. Mental health research has found that this type of behavior appears equally in women, with a twist. Female bullies (predators) abuse their victims on a more emotional level, by marginalizing them and excluding them. All is not lost, so don't despair if you find yourself the target of one or more female bullies, i.e. narcopaths. While it may seem as if she is flying high, just know this is only for a season. Her crash is coming. Narcopaths always end up losing, as their lies and deception eventually convict them. Here are some of the many ways in which narcissists wind up as the ultimate losers.
If you find the information provided free of charge helpful and valuable here at Surviving the Narcopath, please consider making a donation, via PayPal, to help me maintain the site. Thank you.
Several years ago, after a devastatingly betrayal by a close family member, I stumbled upon an article about emotional vampires. Further reading led me to learn more about malignant narcissism. Then, I realized the description closely matched these behaviors. Women (and men) who psychologically abuse others are not well themselves. They typically suffer from what psychologists call personality disorders, such as malignant narcissism or narcissistic sociopathy. There are other conditions as well, such as borderline personality disorder, a close cousin, and histrionic personality disorder. A common thread that runs through all of them is poor impulse control and inability to maintain relationships.
Normal, healthy and happy people do not try to make life difficult for those around them. But the personality-disordered women described above often go out of their way to do so. A malignant narcissist/sociopath (narcopath) will take months, if not years, planning and plotting for just the right time to strike. She will never do anything unless she's assured of "victory."
For a female narcopath, this means ruining her target's other friendships and separating her from important people in her life. She accomplishes this by telling outrageous fabrications, designed to make the target look bad. The lies, gossip, character assassination and other destructive maneuvers are often what we see when a friendship blows apart. This is malignant narcissism and sociopathy playing out, as the female bully shifts her gears into discard mode. This serves a dual purpose for the female bully. First, she gets to watch her target suffer, since what she's done is very cruel. (Narcopaths derive pleasure from other people's pain.) With everyone questioning the target's actions and motives, the narcissist can now count on them not to offer any resistance when she launches a full-scale attack, designed to destroy the target. Relationships are only games to a narcopath. She is paranoid and always believes everyone is either "on her side" or against her, like a game of Red Rover. She wants to win at all costs. She views people as objects to be added or removed at her will. She lacks any moral fortitude whatsoever, and as such, has no qualms or remorse in using deception and manipulation to turn others against her target. She revels in the fact she can manipulate others into believing her lies. Psychologists call this type of behavior "relational aggression."
It was once thought that this behavior was predominately seen in men, but it is becoming more clear that this was an incorrect assumption. Mental health research has found that this type of behavior appears equally in women, with a twist. Female bullies (predators) abuse their victims on a more emotional level, by marginalizing them and excluding them. All is not lost, so don't despair if you find yourself the target of one or more female bullies, i.e. narcopaths. While it may seem as if she is flying high, just know this is only for a season. Her crash is coming. Narcopaths always end up losing, as their lies and deception eventually convict them. Here are some of the many ways in which narcissists wind up as the ultimate losers.
- Narcopaths tend to target loyal people whom are actually their true friends, although it is a very one-sided arrangement. Throughout their lives, they ruin a series of these friendships. This is a loss, although they certainly don't realize it at the time.
- Narcopaths are miserable inside. If they weren't, they wouldn't behave in such a treacherous way.
- Along with this inner emptiness is deep self-loathing. How can you possible like yourself, when you behave in a way so harmful to others?
- Narcopaths live in fear of exposure. They want to be loved and admired. But if people around them knew their true personality, the narcopath would lose the adoration and attention she desperately craves.
- Narcopaths often end up very lonely, as their deceit and lies catch up with them. Oftentimes, the pack of flying monkeys they recruit, to help in their abuse of one target, end up turning on them when they realize the power the narcopath wields is imaginary.
- As a Catholic, I also believe there are serious spiritual consequences to abusing someone. These will start in this life, and continue into the next.
If you find the information provided free of charge helpful and valuable here at Surviving the Narcopath, please consider making a donation, via PayPal, to help me maintain the site. Thank you.
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