Love Relationship Quiz - A Better Way to Establish Compatibility

A typical love relationship quiz usually contains questions such as, "Do you feel tingly all over when you're near him/her?"
Such quizzes are useless in the real world. They are based strictly upon the emotional aspects of a situation while totally ignoring the factors comprising true compatibility.
Relationship Rescue
Many folks end up in an abusive situation by following their emotions instead of forming a healthy one based upon establishing real-world needs.
A better solution may be to ask:
1. What do I want out of this relationship?
2. Can I get what I want from this situation or is it not possible?
3. If these things are not forthcoming, is love enough to overcome the shortcomings of this situation for the rest of my life?
Be truthful! Lying to yourself is not a smart thing to do. Emotions alone cannot and will not sustain a situation lacking vital components that are important to you. Do not confuse simple lust for true love. There is a major difference between the two.
Basing a relationship strictly on lust and/or simple emotions almost guarantees you will be miserable for the rest of your life. That is no way to live.
You can avoid the trap formed by lust and emotions as well as the misery that comes with it if you are truthful with yourself regarding what you need and expect from your personal involvements.
Consider lust a momentary emotion but true love as a life-long situation based in reality.
A love relationship is strong because it supplies other needs you have as determined by thoroughly answering the questions found in the short quiz above.

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Secrets to Manifesting Love - 5 Tips Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages

The recipe for a happy and successful marriage is much more simple for a couple who builds their marriage on it's foundation. However, trying to implement this recipe and a rebuild a marriage on this recipe may be a bit more complicated, but every bit of possible. This article will outline the attributes that make up the recipe for a healthy marriage. Rather you are in a new marriage and looking for guidance, or a failing marriage that you desperately want to save, this article will provide expert advice on manifesting love.
The Five Step Recipe to Manifesting Love and a Healthy Marriage
1. Believe in Your Marriage - Secrets to Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages
Have faith in your spouse and your marriage, saving a marriage is no easy task in any case. However, saving a marriage that you don't believe can be restored is an even more difficult task. Actions that are not supported by faith, are a waste of time and energy. The manifestation of love is rooted by the presence of faith, and believing that lasting love is possible.
2. Self -control is a Great strength - Secrets to Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages
When you are upset, do not be quick to react. Lashing out in anger is only going to add fuel to the fire. Be cool, behaving in a collected manner is the best choice. Be grown-up enough to restrain yourself, and take charge of the matter at hand. Displaying self control gains respect from your spouse, and it makes your partner more likely to be open in your marriage.
3. Nurture Your Marriage - Secrets to Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages
Never stop nurturing your relationship, a marriage is a union that is designed to be lasting. Nothing lives without the proper care, just as we have to provide nourishment to our bodies, we must do the same in marriage. When your spouse knows that you care about continuing to grow and bond in your marriage, it will create counter responsibility for them to do the same.
4. Be Honest in Your Marriage - Secrets to Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages
Be honest with your spouse, it takes a million good experiences to build trust in a relationship, and one bad experience to destroy it. Always try to imagine yourself in your spouse's shoes, if you were the one in the marriage who had been deceived how would you feel? A marriage without trust is almost certainly destined for failure, so rather the matter is big or small, always be honest.
5. Marriage and Communication - Secrets to Building Successful Marriages and Saving Failing Marriages
There is nothing worse than emotional resilience built up over time due to the lack of communication, chances are you are not married to a psychic. With that being said, what the two of you fail to communicate in your marriage will continue to be a mystery. The art and skill of communication is something that develops overtime, through practice and experience.

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What Makes Up an Enviable Relationship

Everyone desires a healthy relationship, but not everyone works towards achieving it. Achieving a healthy relationship is a responsibility that lies on the shoulder of both parties involved. If someone asks you what are the things that can contribute to a strong and fulfilling relationship, you may probably have a lot to say in order to make your point. You can make good points by saying, love each other, build trust, never try to cheat, be honest and so on. However, I have seen men telling me that they have tried all these things out in their relationship and yet things did not work out well. But that's ok, here are the things that can help you build a strong marital relationship.
IMPROVE YOUR OVERLOOKING.
Good sense makes a man slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence. Proverbs 19:11 [RSV]
Healthy relationships are not conflict free, but they are conflict resolving. That is, there is no offence free relationship. Any relationship whatsoever, whether parents to children, husband to wife, fiancé to fiancée or whatever, there's a place of offence. If you try as much as you can, not to offend anybody, people will offend you. While your silence is an answer to somebody, it can be an insult to another person. In your attempt to please two you can end up offending ten. Even when you don't really mean to, the way you talk can be taken as offensive. Get this right, we live in a world surrounded by people who makes everyday life a bad or good experience. Therefore, you will without doubt be offended especially by what some people choose to do. Therefore, relationship at any level is never a conflict free affair. The only problem is that we fight to win and have points and the desired victory, instead of fighting for solutions. We need to understand that relationship combines different people with different experience, different level of exposure, norms and potentials. Our relationships must go and grow through these differences if we are going to preserve our friendship relationships constantly and continually.
In addition, true love does not exempt offences but it overlooks. Hence, it is one of the ways by which love is tested and proved. You cannot really say how much you love a man until he offends you and you find a place to forgive him and forget it. True love is demonstrated on the ground of forgiveness and overlooking. Even when it hurts so badly, love forgives and overlooks an offence. If you are going to build a strong and enviable relationship, you had better learn to at least overlook and forgive offences. You cannot continue to fuse and fume over every issue. You cannot make a lasting relationship if you kick up a fuss anytime your partner hurts your feelings. Take it or leave it, big issues are not the destroyers of our relationships but little foxes, little mistakes, little excuses, complains, bitterness, anger and resentment.
Let me go back to where we started. It says, "Good sense makes a man slow to anger, but it is his glory to overlook an offence". Itdid not say that good sense makes a man not to get angry. If I tell you that you should never get angry, you would ever hear that one half-baked truth. It only says apply good sense when you are offended, when you get angry or hurt. Good sense is the application of your discretion when sizzle frizzles in your relationship. That is, your ability to handle issues when things are about to get out of hands. Your sense of judgment, reactions and actions must at least make sense. It is easier to be right and end up being wrong. You must apply your senses and think fast before things grow worse.
I remember when I started my courtship years back. The joy, excitement and the passion at the start of our relationship was hot like fire. You know that during the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is often more emphasis on emotions - especially those of love, intimacy and passion- rather than the physical union and intimacy. We would always feel like seeing each other daily. We had time for phone calls, text messages, presents, cards, dating and whatever you can think about. We really love each other. However, the first four weeks of our marriage was like hell on earth. Everyday brings different challenges, disagreement and conflicts. I asked myself if I really married the same woman I used to know. Is this not the same woman I called my queen? However, I learnt my lessons by understanding that our differences are the major platforms for disagreement. So, how do I handle this? Otherwise the bend will eventually break. Nevertheless, we were able to handle issues when we realized that some issues are meant to be overlooked.
Trying to slow down sometimes and think of what to do can give you an opportunity to know how to handle issues maturely. Your spouse may see things from another perspective different from yours. But how will you understand his points when you are not careful to observe them. When you are not patient, it does not take eternity to spoil what you have spent your years building. Good sense gives you the ability to control your temper, calm down and decide the proper approach. Good sense makes a man slow to anger, but it is his glory to overlook an offence". Consider the concluding part of that scripture. It is your glory to overlook an offence. It means, after you have carefully observed the situation at hand, you end up being celebrated for your judgment. You may even realize that it is not an issue that should bring disagreement. Sometimes silence can be the best answer when noise fills the air.
Do you know that building a house is not as costly as maintaining it. Building is the ultimate, but maintenance is immediate, forever and continual. The same is applicable to our relationship. Finding someone you love is not as difficult as keeping what you find. Maintaining relationship is a work on its own. A work in progress. You can manage and build an enviable relationship when you realize that some mistakes, errors, and issues must be overlooked. It may be difficult but it is a task that must be carried out. It can only be difficult when you want to win. That is why you may criticize and blame until your anger begins to burn more and more. To overlook an offence does not make you stupid. It is your glory and respect when you take such steps. It is an honor of a wise man.
In addition, love is an outward expression of an inward impression. The outward expression here is what you sacrifice in order to prove your love to your spouse. The wrong you are able to make right. The mistakes you are able to overlook, the unbearable you are able to bear, and the unacceptable you may likely accept. The inward impression there is your true love that you can never trade for anger, resentment, malice and unforgiveness. Love that cannot be denied because of offences. This love impression is there to convince you that the action that provokes your anger is not intentional. Therefore, you must disregard the mistakes and move on. Overlooking is disregarding an action that displeases your personal opinion and upsets you. Disregard here means to treat the matter as unimportant or unintentional.
Take this for example; your partner is a talking type. While he cracks jokes with you he embarrassed you in the presence of your friends. Do you then react immediately in the public in order to show your displeasure? No. At times, there are opportunities to talk but there is no words and when there are enough to say, there is no time for it. Therefore, you will create time to discuss that issue later. Even when others respond by saying that it is embarrassing, you must shun their opinion and treat it as a joke. Just say, he really didn't mean it. Learning to disregard faults can preserve the future and build a healthy relationship.
However, true love does not dissimulate your real feelings and enthusiasm. It does not mean you can't get angry. Remember, you are yourself you cannot be someone else. You cannot hide your reactions and anger you must only control them. Uncontrollable anger will have effect on your relationship. The scripture says, "Disregarding another person's faults preserves love; telling about them separate close friends". Proverbs 17:9. This means that it is easier for close friends to separate if there is no disregarding or overlooking in their love life.
How can you do this? Control your temper.
Do you think the bible teaches that we should not get angry? No. It only says ...in your anger do not sin. Ephesians 4:26. i.e. If you are angry be sure it is not a sinful anger. Don't give the devil a foothold in your relationship. A bad temper is not something to be proud of, but to be prayed over. When you blow your top, you just reveal your content says one man. And which of us hasn't done that and regretted it?
Let me be more sincere here. I am not saying that you have to overlook everything. No. Will a man overlook infidelity, dishonest practices, cheat and maltreatment? No, of course not. That is already beyond boundaries, but such acts must be handled differently, which we may be able to discuss here. But on this aspect of overlooking, note this points.

1. Misdirected anger may open doors to an attack on your relationship. The unexpected will always happen but handling requires wisdom.
2. Bad temper will make you loose too much. It will becloud your sense of judgment. And if all you have is a hammer in your hand, then every problem looks like a nail to you. Therefore, you are ready to crucify your spouse.
3. The greatest sacrifice you can make in your relationship is to forgive. Forgiveness brings peace, strong bond and unity. Always find a place to forgive in your heart.
4. Try not to keep issues too long. When things get out of hands, summon courage and come together with your partner to settle it. Don't delay in settling misunderstanding.
5. When you are wrong, don't be indecisive to apologize. Even when your apology won't undo the wrong you have done, it will amend the situation. "Sorry" is a five character word, but it has power to amend things when we are ready to make good use of it. Do that when it is necessary. "Sorry" is a universal language that has the power to amend situation. The power only lies in the hand of whoever will make use of it wisely. So, the question is when last have you make good use of it?
6. Practice patient, it is an enduring doctor; it will always win and find it way to the top. Learn how to tolerate each other. Be patient with each other, because this is a necessary ingredient and recipe for love spices.
7. Take time to study your partner to know what he wants from you. We offend ourselves mostly because we don't really know what the other guy like or dislike.

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How to Choose Your Partner and Build a Stronger Relationship

Finding the right person and building a relationship is the topic of the century. More and more people break up, divorce or find themselves lonely and disappointed by their partners.
In my own journey I have tried to understand what have I overlooked. It turned to me that key and most common to a couple's success is the willingness to invest. Just like you take time to go through education, specialize in your job, learn a foreign language or raise a child, a couple is no different. Requires effort to build it and constant attention and interest for your beloved one. Here is what to look for in broad lines and 3 categories.
Firstly, at the beginning, you need to look for some common grounds related to life in general. Mind for similar level of education and career aspirations, choice of geographical location, desire for long-term relationship or building a family. Same applies for lifestyle expectations, religion and values or sexual compatibility.
Secondly, watch for deal-breakers: vices, infidelity, abuse, immaturity, 3rd party intervention, self and self-worth insecurities, care for appearance and cleanliness. As you dive into the relationship, recheck for point 1 above: religion and upbringing differences, long distance, significant income differences, money interests or money or fame greed, another family, interest for personal development.
Thirdly, if you feel comfortable that the above criteria does not raise major issue, then, it is worthwhile paying a closer attention to building your partnership at a stronger level. Perhaps you have already been doing so, which is great, this will therefore only raise your awareness.
1. Build each other's confidence, treat with trust and respect
2. Support individual projects for further personal growth and sharing
3. Ensure time together for common passions and hobbies
4. Practice positivity, patience and whatever you do, do it with good intentions and love
5. Increase your level of presence and embody two-way communication (when in conflict talk about facts and your feelings without throwing arrows at the other person)
As the relationship advances and years pass, perhaps remind yourself to:
1. Make sure you stay in touch: hug, kiss, write, talk, plan for connection and intimate moments
2. Realign your priorities, interests and vision for success (avoids unmet expectations)
3. Don't get lost in roles (parent, child or toxic relationships; you are an adult for your couple) or lose identity (do only things that other wants and not take care of self)
4. Practice healthy communication (positive feed-back, allow SARAH, conflict resolution)
5. Don't get caught in thoughts, worries and material possessions, but take life with ease and be in the flow. That will bring security and joy in a natural way
How do you know he or she is the right ''one'' for you?
If all things in the right direction, you feel it. Your intuition tells you. You effortlessly flow in the same direction, you dream together, you do not care what others think or say. Your partner is your friend, lover and confident and you grow together. In a partnership fears are waived, feelings are not guessed but shared, disapproval will be done from equality. You are comfortable together and you want to be part of each other's activities even if they don't seem extremely special. Doing nothing is wonderful together. You are joyful, energized and passionate. Conversations unwind, you laugh at each other without hearting feelings and you don't feel an urge to control what the other is doing.
Depending on your stage in life and personal agenda, above may or may not apply. You may wish to decide for yourself what is the criteria that matters at every step. Make your own list of ''musts'' and ''deal-breakers''. Whilst picturing it, you may come to realize lots of things about what is important to you, what really matters in your relationships and what are the things that you could never come to terms with. Generic recipes don't work for everybody. They are meant to kick the process of self-discovery, investigation and personal development.

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How To Build a Lasting Relationship

Every relationship be it friendship, business, love and marriage relationship is "like a flower planted in a garden that needs constant watering and tendering". Many relationships have hit the rocks just because lovers, couples have failed to rekindle the flames of their relationships.
It surprises me that during courtship couples seem to swim across the ocean, walk through the furnace for each other. During courtship you both were very fond of each other; you did everything including the impossible just to please the other. Then why should everything be different now you're finally married? Why should everything change? Marriage is not a final destination; it's just a haven of relief. A completion of the first phase of the journey of relationship, yet the journey continues. The moment you take marriage as a Final Bus-Stop, the moment your love also reaches its final bus-stop. And when that happens, pains, frustration, depression, setbacks and divorce set in.
Hence, I've put up these useful keys to make your Relationship last.
One thing is 'to be in love' another thing is 'to live in love'. Many partners/couples were so fond of each other and quite intimated especially during their Courtship. What then happened the moment they became married? Suffix it to say that it is 'living in love' that guarantees a lasting relationship. Your ability as a couple to 'live in love' will definitely make you 'stay in the love' relationship. However, LIVING IN LOVE entails the following:
• COMMUNICATION AND OPENNESS:
It's so amazing what communication can achieve in a relationship but disappointingly couples usually take this for granted. How often do you talk with each other? 'Talking with each other" is quite different from 'talking to each other.' When you talk with each other, you're interacting, conversing, sharing ideas and at the same time enriching yourselves mentally. When you talk with each other, you have someone who gives you a listening ear as well contributes to the discussion. Every moment of silence usually seems there's no more live in the relationship. Hence, communication is the live-wire in every relationship. Communication must not ensue only when you have vital issues at hand. Talk about your daily activities, home, office, work, travels, hobbies, leisure, and meals in fact everything that is worth-talking. This has to be done with every sense of humor. Remember that your relationship started with 'communication' and so must be sustained with same. Be sincere and honest with your partner. Share all relevant secrets. Your finance also must not be kept secret from each other.
"Truth is the threshold of Trust and Commitment."
• CARING AND GENEROSITY:
Showing your partner some care matters a lot in relationship. Being generous or caring is not necessarily when you spend extravagantly or ravishingly on your partner. But appreciating your love for each other in a little million ways through spending quality time together. Be generous with your affection, attention, praise and even sympathy. Surprise packages like sending a love note or a bouquet to your partner. Be romantic by reminding each other how much you love each other and how beautiful or handsome your partner is. Taking your partner out for lunch or dinner or for a friend's party and other healthy public events.
These will definitely go along way to improving and sustaining your relationship.
• EQUAL SHARING AND RESPECT:
It is not gainsaying the fact that the journey of every relationship is not always rosy. There are roughages as well as 'blisses.' So in other to stay and live in love you must be able to balance the two (sorrows & Joy). Always share your sorrow and joy, ups & downs. Transform every sorrow into a happy moment. How do you do this?
Never concentrate on your partner's weaknesses: never focus more on your challenges which are "temporary inevitable occurrences". They must come and go. "Weeping may endure only for a night but joy comes in the morning". Every lasting relationship must be nurtured and sustained with respect.
Love never counts supremacy. As much as men desire respect, women also cherish respect. As the man, God made you a leader (The Head) and not a ruler. Never try to make your partner feel so inferior to you. Respect is a mutual factor in a relationship. As God requires women to be submissive (Humble) to their husbands, He also demands that men also respect and love their wives. Relationship is never a contest or monopolistic and competitive affair rather it is a partnership affair. When tension rises up, at the heat of your quarrel, when a partner flares up another should be the tranquilizer.
• TOLERANCE, UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS:
Tolerance and understanding are two brothers. The two forms the engine of every lasting relationship. If you don't really understand someone, you can never learn to tolerate (accept) the person. No one ever has that perfect character/attitude without the total in-filling of the Holy Spirit. Every man or woman created on this earth has weaknesses, deficiencies as much as strengths.
Therefore, in-order to stay and live in love, you must understand your partners' weaknesses and try to accept them so that we can effect appropriate corrections. Always place your partner's reactions, actions or feelings before yours. If your partner has such a disgusting and irritating attitude, use romantic approaches to correct them. If such attitude becomes a habit and seems incurable, accept them. Yes! Accept them and bring the issue to the final bus-stop. Bring it to God Almighty in prayer and you will experience a divine change. "Call upon me in times of trouble and I will deliver you."
In every misunderstanding or disagreement, learn to say "I am sorry" irrespective of whomever that is at fault. Those words 'I'm sorry' does a whole lot of good in every relationship. In the history of human relationship, no word(s) has ever been the quickest and costless tool for achieving peace and sustaining love than 'I'm sorry.' Always be quick to say 'am sorry' irrespective of whoever is at fault. Often times we think that apologizing to those who have wronged us rather than them rendering the apology, will only debase us before them and make us even look stupid. But don't be disappointed to hear that apologizing to someone who has wronged you, would rather make the person feel so inferior, ashamed, and stupid and even remorse for his behavior. No matter our craving for self importance, no one would still want to be treated like a god. We all have our soft spots which can only be aroused through a sincere apology. Learn to be generous, forgiving and apologetic. They serve as a desideratum for sustaining and building a lasting relationship.

Marriage is not a bed of roses as so most couples think. Marriage is yet another wanton stage of relationship that needs to be strongly built with much care and patience. It's important that couples stop learning how to avoid disagreements or misunderstanding in relationship rather they should learn to discuss and settle them whenever they arise. No healthy relationship is without disagreements. The ingredient of a lasting relationship lies in the ability to agree in every disagreement. However, during Courtship/dating Couples do not show all their imperfections and weaknesses. So, expect the height of imperfections from your partner in marriage. Hence "true love endures all things" [1 chor 7:33,34].

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Build a Loving Relationship

We all need love and inside all of us is a deep seated desire to be in a loving relationship, one which withstands the tests of time and sees you growing old together. If you want to build a loving relationship then it all depends on who you fall in love with. You have probably heard the term opposites attract, and I am certain that some of those opposites have made wonderful lives together. The reality is that if you build a relationship with someone whose interests, tastes and values closely match your own, then that relationship has a better chance of survival than one where you are opposites.
One of the main reasons, if not the main reason for the breakdown in relationships is due to the lack of communication between partners. If you think about it, whilst you are still individuals you are also two people who have chosen to join their lives together, if you do not share each others lives then do you have a relationship. You cannot build a loving relationship until you know everything about your partner and they about you. You need to be totally open and honest about your needs, wants and desires, when you are both comfortable in doing that then you will have a far healthier relationship, and the trust and bonds that tie you together will be strengthened. Find out what is important to your partner and let them know what is important to you. So long as you keep talking to each other then it does not matter what problems you face, you will find a way to deal with them.
You have to like your partner, they have to be your best friend and you theirs. You need to be able to offer your unconditional support without even thinking about it. If they have problems you need to be there to help them and strengthen them. It is wonderful to be in love, but love is an emotion, it will not last for the whole of your marriage. You can reignite the spark any number of times, but what really stands the test of time is true friendship.
If you want to build a loving relationship, and this can sometimes be easier said than done, but you have to commit to spending quality time together. It is a whole lot easier a first when it is just the two of you getting to know each other. But as time rolls on kids, work commitments, long commutes, different interests etc can make it difficult. One thing that you need to remember is that there is nothing as important to your relationship as the two of you, people and circumstances will move in and out of your lives but the one constant is the two of you. Quality time spent together away from work, the kids, the day to day problems that life just loves to give us will strengthen your bond, your communication and your understanding of each other, oh, and not forgetting the fact that you will enjoy yourselves. It never ceases to amaze me, just how many people think that having a good time and enjoying each others company is a pleasure only suited for the start of a relationship?
Whether you like it or not your relationship will face problems. This is where your practice of the art of communication comes into its own. Because you share things with each other, potential problems can usually be recognised and dealt with quite early on. Neither of you is perfect so you will make mistakes or you might say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. Quite often a problem is not always one persons fault but you both share the blame. Take responsibility for your actions and where necessary apologise. Approach each problem calmly and rationally and negotiate a compromise that both of you are happy with, if you are both happy then it further strengthens the relationship. Keep the focus on the issue in hand. Do not play the blame game, it wastes time, it is pointless and a bit childish. You want to get into the habit of dealing with problems together early on in the relationship, in time it will become automatic.
To create a loving relationship you both need to give your total commitment to the relationship, in return you will get something that will improve all aspects of your life. Your relationship will experience its ups and down, that is natural and normal, expect them and deal with them together. As time moves on you will change, your partner will change and as you both change so will your relationship, accept it and move along with it, do not try to keep it fixed in place it will only become stale and lifeless. Enjoy each others company, let your partner know that you love them everyday, talk to each other, support each other, help each other and have a long and happy life together.

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further into the mysteries of understanding the opposite sex and relationships then my site might be onf interest to you. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.
http://www.reviewthemagicofmakingup.com

7 Secrets to Building Trust in Your Relationship

Relationships demand continual work to keep them flourishing and one area where many relationships fall short is trust. If you are looking to improve the trust level with your significant other and therefore improve your relationship then proceed on for 7 steps to assist you.
The first step to building trust is to be predictable. This goes against the common belief that you need to "stir things up" to keep things new and keep the romance alive. Sure, having lunch at a new cafe or giving an unexpected gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make your relationship flourish. You and your significant other have had a falling out and you thought you wanted to break up. But now after some time has passed you realize that the break up was a mistake and you want your love back. Can this relationship be saved? The good news is that 'yes' many times the relationship can be saved. The bad news is it may take some serious effort and changes on your part.
The first thing to do after a break up is to take a little time to really take stock of the relationship. It is easy in the heat or depression of a break up to only focus on the good things that are gone. But in addition to the good points about the relationship you need to focus on what was wrong with the relationship. After all you did break up right? So there has to be some reasons behind the break up. If there were problems those will need to be addressed if the relationship is going to succeed in the future.
So after you have taken some time to review your relationship it is time to make a decision as to whether it is really worth saving. If after reviewing the relationship you are coming up with a much longer list of negatives than positives then maybe it is time to move on. Sometimes really good people just aren't good together. So you need to be honest with yourself as to whether you and your ex really bring out the best in each other or not.
OK so you have thought about it and decided that the relationship is worth saving , now what? One plan of attack could be to just be upfront with your ex. Invite him or her to sit down and have an honest talk about the chances for a reconciliation. Tell your ex exactly what you want and what changes your willing to make to get there. Another approach is to be a little more coy about it. Take care of yourself. Go out with friends and stay busy. Let your ex see how well you are doing. This often will make an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend reconsider a break up. After all we all want what we can't have right? So play a little hard to get. Who knows while you are out there having fun and living life you might just decide you don't want your ex back after all because there are so many other fish in the sea. Your relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable and predictable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match your actions. This means that your partner really needs to hear the words which match your body language and the things that you do. If you say you are joyful but you are frowning, your partner doesn't hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tonality in your voice. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to believe in your partner. Trust breeds trust. If you are constantly suspicious of your partner he or she might think you are projecting you own cheating behaviors or other bad behaviors onto them. If you can't believe in and trust your partner then there are probably more fundamental problems in your relationship that you need to examine.
OK this one should be common sense but, don't keep secrets. Secrets are the fastest way to destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open with your significant other. Things we try to hide have a way of in time coming out anyway so it is better to just be up front from the start. Secrets require tremendous energy on your part. Better to use that energy to improve your relationship and make it stronger.
The fifth step is don't be afraid to let your better half know what your needs are. He or she is not a psychic so, don' t make him or her speculate on what you need. It is not selfish or egotistical to let your significant other know what you need. It is the key to creating a stronger relationship.
The sixth step is going to be hard for some of you but you need to learn to say no. When your partner expresses his or her needs, that is a good thing, but you don't need to say yes every time he or she makes a request. It is better to be genuine and up front when there is something you don't want to do rather than implying that you might do it but then not. Remember we are building trust here so your word has to be golden.
The final step is to never stop nurturing your relationship so it will proceed to grow. When you plant a flower, you fertilize it to help it grow better. The identical is true with the relationship. Open communicating and trying new things together are the fertilizer of a relationship.
So there you have it. 7 steps to help fortify the trust in your relationship and keep it going strong. The endeavor can really be worth it!

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Love's Communications - Help to Build a Happy Relationship

Some people can enter into relationships with very few words between them. Others may spend a large amount of time in bickering and disagreeing with each other. Such styles can easily seem like a constant battleground. To many of us it might get pretty tiresome. Yet, amazingly, they seem to keep the relationship together on this basis.
Such patterns as these are seldom the norm for sustaining happy relationships. Many of us feel the need for something that can bring more satisfaction into their lives in a relationship.
Here is the one major preliminary insight that every couple should apply to their relationship if they are to be a successful couple and help their relationship. It involves the simple act of open and effective communication with that significant other in life! Only in this is the right message relayed to the other party about just how important and valued they truly are. If this one vital area is ignored and neglected, the relationship will usually wither!
This can also take many forms, such as a gentle caress, a special glance their way across a crowded room, and most especially those significant words meant just for them, and no other! Each one of these actions confirms the other and completes "the tie that binds" two hearts together as one!
Think for a moment on this: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver"(Pro. 25:11). Ask yourself, how will I ever speak such good and fitting words to the one that matters to me the most if I don't even recognize the value in this most elementary thing? So you need to be aware of just how important effective communications are, and strive to make them meaningful in the most positive ways to the person that matters to you the most. Strive to keep this in mind in your relationship endeavors.
Howard Fineman, political columnist for Newsweek Magazine, in his discussion with Keith Olberman on Countdown, following President Obama's news conference last Wednesday (4/29/09), offered a beautiful description of one thing that he brought away from it. He termed Obama's way of expressing himself "a sweet reasonableness". I think that is a most striking and beneficial observation. President Obama is very persuasive and endearing in his use of the English language, and because of this he has given to hearts in America and around the world a warm, fuzzy glow and feeling! Mine included!
But here's the personal lesson that every one of us needs to take away with us from this. It is simply that relationships have a chance to survive under such considerate and kindly communications. Barack Obama and Michelle show us how it can be done! Though there are some who seem to only want to be critical, there are others who can find a magic moment in the two of them touching fists in that victory moment at the primary. It takes a little deeper reach into the heart of love, but for all who could recognize it as such and as being that special moment of mutual fulfillment and success, it was something very special. It was the embodiment also of a cooperative effort on both of their parts that brought them to this special moment. To me, it was a beautiful scene shared by a man and a woman deeply in love, with us who by then had already grown fond of the two of them! For any who are perhaps struggling with the stuff of a relationship, there is much to be carried away from this and applied personally.
And it is such little things as these that can elude us if we aren't paying close enough attention.
To go further, we should observe other important things in the communications area that are so strikingly different today, nationally, but so very welcome. Especially after so many years of tiresome silence previously, it turns aside the night and brings in the warm sunlight of a new day! For Obama is always there for us, on our tv screens, and elsewhere, like town hall meetings. He does not neglect to come before us with a more welcome transparency. And it is most revolutionary how he has invited us to just email him when we have any serious concern on our minds. Two-way communication is now in full vogue! And I can tell that he pays attention to us, so we feel validated far more than we did before he came into office! It helps so much! In spite of all of the serious problems that this President is dealing with, he considers us! We actually can feel it, and I think it is genuine. I find this to be very touching and profound! Surely you can, too, can't you? If not, why not? It may not solve every difficult problem that we face today, but it does lay a far nicer foundation upon which to build a bit of a happier relationship with the American people.
So take some time out today to make your own list of things that you may like to accomplish in your communications to the other person, showing them that you consider them especially! Affirm the other with any concern or concerns that may lead up to signs of problems in your relationship in some timely communications now that you may have not previously been cognizant of. Then give the other one a real opportunity to respond to you in the area of their concern(s).
Paul Tillich has noted that "the first duty of love is to listen." Very few of us care to do this yet by listening carefully to the concerns and needs expressed by the other offers reassurance. The act of listening communicates everything positive. In this way you can open up a meaningful dialogue that will carry you further on into avoiding future problems in your relationship. From here you can go on to discuss all the things that will be satisfactory to the two of you. Unrestricted communications between the two of you can go very far in preventing any breakdowns in your relationship. Humans usually need to express themselves! And there is perhaps no greater form of personal fulfillment than verbal two-way sharing together, especially as real friends.
Don't rush such times together in order to get on to other "more important" interests. When you love another, it's not really hard to just sit together, or make dinner together, and just talk. "Familiar acts are beautiful through love", as Percy B. Shelly once noted. Take time to think things through on an individual level, then decide what is most agreeable to the other if tensions arise. Try to accommodate the other's need. And let the other one know that you appreciate their need to be their own person, or individual. In showing respect for that, you demonstrate a real caring for them as a person in their own right.
As a prime example today, again, our own extremely hard pressed President who finds his way clear to fit us into his busy schedule every day is impressive. So no matter how busy you are, you can and must take some time out of your busy day to pay attention, listen, share, and to be available, heart-to-heart, with that special someone. Real love makes time for meaningful communications. These make all of life more vital and meaningful every day. When mixed in with a true spirit of congeniality, cordiality, and courtesy, and wherever needed a heartfelt apology to an offended one, you have a great recipe for much joy and happiness together.
You can save your relationship and help it thrive by demonstrating such a respect to the one you care about the most. You have to translate your love into respect that the other can see, and this, in turn, can translate into similar responses on their own part. When you can love, then you should be able to give. And time set aside for communication is a very good thing to give.
So, make very sure that the door for both of you is kept open for the other every day, no matter what! It is the basic building block for a sure foundation upon which to build the future. In this you will come to a much greater appreciation in such "a sweet reasonableness" that will bring you onward together through life's vicissitudes. In this you will find close friendship with one another, while still allowing space for the other's individuality. It offers the most positive and workable approach to helping your relationship grow as you will begin to recognize when you put it to wise use.
Give your mate quality time to spend in sharing communications with you, and you will be drawn closer together in every area of your lives. You can notice improvements when you take special time for each other to just communicate, and in so doing, find greater enjoyment in each other's presence. For, as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, "Love gives itself; it is not bought."

Continue on your way here now to begin with a most helpful system that will carry you through to a more successful outcome in your relationship and bring you both much greater happiness. It can be found here at http://significantvalues.blogspot.com

The Rewards of a Loving Relationship

First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to read this.
What I have discovered that could help many relationships out there is to constantly build my relationships. This isn't just with my lover although she benefits the most. Because we get to spend so much time together we have found it ever so important to not only relax with each other but to also go on adventures, with and without the kids. We love them ever so much but as a couple we have taken time for just one another, to give each other the kind of love only couples can.
The greatest successes I have seen in other couples is that they are striving to spend as much time together as possible. Life is busy enough without taking time for those that you love most. I urge you the next moment you get to pick up and hug your loved one just stand there for a full minute or two. Do this daily and your relationships with those loved ones will improve dramatically.
Human touch is of great importance. Some people are more sensitive than others. The energies that are exchanged when you are close with another human are quite remarkable. In this day and age there have been such improvements in technology that those energies are beginning to be measured. Now we as a human race can really get a grasp on what energy is like within humans. We are getting closer and closer to being able to measure even that essence that makes humans be here.
I want you to understand. This is not just a metaphysical where only a few feel. There are more and more humans becoming more sensitive to energy. We can use this with one another to improve our relationships. Simply look into eyes and open your feelings. Even at eye sight a person gets a funny little feeling whether you connect with certain people or that you want to stay away from certain people.
A lot of this has to do with vibrations and whether those vibrations are positive or negative. A positive person does not want to be around a negative person. Although there can sometimes be an attraction there as well. Have you ever noticed how same and yet different you are from your closest person?
To improve your relationships, get in tune with each other. The other night I was lying my head on my wife's chest and just listened to her heart beat. While lying there in the quiet our breath became in sync and we just felt one another. It was simply an exchange of energy that I have found vital in relationships.
Growing closer yields many rewards and I really hope that you take the time with your loved one to begin getting more in sync with each other. This can be going on hikes. Go to a bar or dance at a club. Learn something new together. Go sky diving. Do something that challenges you both and work with one another to complete great tasks. The rewards are unending when it comes to having a great relationship from little smiles to naughty whispers to even more fun. Take care of your lover.

Again thank you for reading this. I really hope it helps you to improve your relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to connect with my go to http://www.facebook.com/orgalia.