Some people can enter into relationships with very few words
between them. Others may spend a large amount of time in bickering and
disagreeing with each other. Such styles can easily seem like a constant
battleground. To many of us it might get pretty tiresome. Yet,
amazingly, they seem to keep the relationship together on this basis.
Such patterns as these are seldom the norm for sustaining happy relationships. Many of us feel the need for something that can bring more satisfaction into their lives in a relationship.
Here is the one major preliminary insight that every couple should apply to their relationship if they are to be a successful couple and help their relationship. It involves the simple act of open and effective communication with that significant other in life! Only in this is the right message relayed to the other party about just how important and valued they truly are. If this one vital area is ignored and neglected, the relationship will usually wither!
This can also take many forms, such as a gentle caress, a special glance their way across a crowded room, and most especially those significant words meant just for them, and no other! Each one of these actions confirms the other and completes "the tie that binds" two hearts together as one!
Think for a moment on this: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver"(Pro. 25:11). Ask yourself, how will I ever speak such good and fitting words to the one that matters to me the most if I don't even recognize the value in this most elementary thing? So you need to be aware of just how important effective communications are, and strive to make them meaningful in the most positive ways to the person that matters to you the most. Strive to keep this in mind in your relationship endeavors.
Howard Fineman, political columnist for Newsweek Magazine, in his discussion with Keith Olberman on Countdown, following President Obama's news conference last Wednesday (4/29/09), offered a beautiful description of one thing that he brought away from it. He termed Obama's way of expressing himself "a sweet reasonableness". I think that is a most striking and beneficial observation. President Obama is very persuasive and endearing in his use of the English language, and because of this he has given to hearts in America and around the world a warm, fuzzy glow and feeling! Mine included!
But here's the personal lesson that every one of us needs to take away with us from this. It is simply that relationships have a chance to survive under such considerate and kindly communications. Barack Obama and Michelle show us how it can be done! Though there are some who seem to only want to be critical, there are others who can find a magic moment in the two of them touching fists in that victory moment at the primary. It takes a little deeper reach into the heart of love, but for all who could recognize it as such and as being that special moment of mutual fulfillment and success, it was something very special. It was the embodiment also of a cooperative effort on both of their parts that brought them to this special moment. To me, it was a beautiful scene shared by a man and a woman deeply in love, with us who by then had already grown fond of the two of them! For any who are perhaps struggling with the stuff of a relationship, there is much to be carried away from this and applied personally.
And it is such little things as these that can elude us if we aren't paying close enough attention.
To go further, we should observe other important things in the communications area that are so strikingly different today, nationally, but so very welcome. Especially after so many years of tiresome silence previously, it turns aside the night and brings in the warm sunlight of a new day! For Obama is always there for us, on our tv screens, and elsewhere, like town hall meetings. He does not neglect to come before us with a more welcome transparency. And it is most revolutionary how he has invited us to just email him when we have any serious concern on our minds. Two-way communication is now in full vogue! And I can tell that he pays attention to us, so we feel validated far more than we did before he came into office! It helps so much! In spite of all of the serious problems that this President is dealing with, he considers us! We actually can feel it, and I think it is genuine. I find this to be very touching and profound! Surely you can, too, can't you? If not, why not? It may not solve every difficult problem that we face today, but it does lay a far nicer foundation upon which to build a bit of a happier relationship with the American people.
So take some time out today to make your own list of things that you may like to accomplish in your communications to the other person, showing them that you consider them especially! Affirm the other with any concern or concerns that may lead up to signs of problems in your relationship in some timely communications now that you may have not previously been cognizant of. Then give the other one a real opportunity to respond to you in the area of their concern(s).
Paul Tillich has noted that "the first duty of love is to listen." Very few of us care to do this yet by listening carefully to the concerns and needs expressed by the other offers reassurance. The act of listening communicates everything positive. In this way you can open up a meaningful dialogue that will carry you further on into avoiding future problems in your relationship. From here you can go on to discuss all the things that will be satisfactory to the two of you. Unrestricted communications between the two of you can go very far in preventing any breakdowns in your relationship. Humans usually need to express themselves! And there is perhaps no greater form of personal fulfillment than verbal two-way sharing together, especially as real friends.
Don't rush such times together in order to get on to other "more important" interests. When you love another, it's not really hard to just sit together, or make dinner together, and just talk. "Familiar acts are beautiful through love", as Percy B. Shelly once noted. Take time to think things through on an individual level, then decide what is most agreeable to the other if tensions arise. Try to accommodate the other's need. And let the other one know that you appreciate their need to be their own person, or individual. In showing respect for that, you demonstrate a real caring for them as a person in their own right.
As a prime example today, again, our own extremely hard pressed President who finds his way clear to fit us into his busy schedule every day is impressive. So no matter how busy you are, you can and must take some time out of your busy day to pay attention, listen, share, and to be available, heart-to-heart, with that special someone. Real love makes time for meaningful communications. These make all of life more vital and meaningful every day. When mixed in with a true spirit of congeniality, cordiality, and courtesy, and wherever needed a heartfelt apology to an offended one, you have a great recipe for much joy and happiness together.
You can save your relationship and help it thrive by demonstrating such a respect to the one you care about the most. You have to translate your love into respect that the other can see, and this, in turn, can translate into similar responses on their own part. When you can love, then you should be able to give. And time set aside for communication is a very good thing to give.
So, make very sure that the door for both of you is kept open for the other every day, no matter what! It is the basic building block for a sure foundation upon which to build the future. In this you will come to a much greater appreciation in such "a sweet reasonableness" that will bring you onward together through life's vicissitudes. In this you will find close friendship with one another, while still allowing space for the other's individuality. It offers the most positive and workable approach to helping your relationship grow as you will begin to recognize when you put it to wise use.
Give your mate quality time to spend in sharing communications with you, and you will be drawn closer together in every area of your lives. You can notice improvements when you take special time for each other to just communicate, and in so doing, find greater enjoyment in each other's presence. For, as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, "Love gives itself; it is not bought."
Such patterns as these are seldom the norm for sustaining happy relationships. Many of us feel the need for something that can bring more satisfaction into their lives in a relationship.
Here is the one major preliminary insight that every couple should apply to their relationship if they are to be a successful couple and help their relationship. It involves the simple act of open and effective communication with that significant other in life! Only in this is the right message relayed to the other party about just how important and valued they truly are. If this one vital area is ignored and neglected, the relationship will usually wither!
This can also take many forms, such as a gentle caress, a special glance their way across a crowded room, and most especially those significant words meant just for them, and no other! Each one of these actions confirms the other and completes "the tie that binds" two hearts together as one!
Think for a moment on this: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver"(Pro. 25:11). Ask yourself, how will I ever speak such good and fitting words to the one that matters to me the most if I don't even recognize the value in this most elementary thing? So you need to be aware of just how important effective communications are, and strive to make them meaningful in the most positive ways to the person that matters to you the most. Strive to keep this in mind in your relationship endeavors.
Howard Fineman, political columnist for Newsweek Magazine, in his discussion with Keith Olberman on Countdown, following President Obama's news conference last Wednesday (4/29/09), offered a beautiful description of one thing that he brought away from it. He termed Obama's way of expressing himself "a sweet reasonableness". I think that is a most striking and beneficial observation. President Obama is very persuasive and endearing in his use of the English language, and because of this he has given to hearts in America and around the world a warm, fuzzy glow and feeling! Mine included!
But here's the personal lesson that every one of us needs to take away with us from this. It is simply that relationships have a chance to survive under such considerate and kindly communications. Barack Obama and Michelle show us how it can be done! Though there are some who seem to only want to be critical, there are others who can find a magic moment in the two of them touching fists in that victory moment at the primary. It takes a little deeper reach into the heart of love, but for all who could recognize it as such and as being that special moment of mutual fulfillment and success, it was something very special. It was the embodiment also of a cooperative effort on both of their parts that brought them to this special moment. To me, it was a beautiful scene shared by a man and a woman deeply in love, with us who by then had already grown fond of the two of them! For any who are perhaps struggling with the stuff of a relationship, there is much to be carried away from this and applied personally.
And it is such little things as these that can elude us if we aren't paying close enough attention.
To go further, we should observe other important things in the communications area that are so strikingly different today, nationally, but so very welcome. Especially after so many years of tiresome silence previously, it turns aside the night and brings in the warm sunlight of a new day! For Obama is always there for us, on our tv screens, and elsewhere, like town hall meetings. He does not neglect to come before us with a more welcome transparency. And it is most revolutionary how he has invited us to just email him when we have any serious concern on our minds. Two-way communication is now in full vogue! And I can tell that he pays attention to us, so we feel validated far more than we did before he came into office! It helps so much! In spite of all of the serious problems that this President is dealing with, he considers us! We actually can feel it, and I think it is genuine. I find this to be very touching and profound! Surely you can, too, can't you? If not, why not? It may not solve every difficult problem that we face today, but it does lay a far nicer foundation upon which to build a bit of a happier relationship with the American people.
So take some time out today to make your own list of things that you may like to accomplish in your communications to the other person, showing them that you consider them especially! Affirm the other with any concern or concerns that may lead up to signs of problems in your relationship in some timely communications now that you may have not previously been cognizant of. Then give the other one a real opportunity to respond to you in the area of their concern(s).
Paul Tillich has noted that "the first duty of love is to listen." Very few of us care to do this yet by listening carefully to the concerns and needs expressed by the other offers reassurance. The act of listening communicates everything positive. In this way you can open up a meaningful dialogue that will carry you further on into avoiding future problems in your relationship. From here you can go on to discuss all the things that will be satisfactory to the two of you. Unrestricted communications between the two of you can go very far in preventing any breakdowns in your relationship. Humans usually need to express themselves! And there is perhaps no greater form of personal fulfillment than verbal two-way sharing together, especially as real friends.
Don't rush such times together in order to get on to other "more important" interests. When you love another, it's not really hard to just sit together, or make dinner together, and just talk. "Familiar acts are beautiful through love", as Percy B. Shelly once noted. Take time to think things through on an individual level, then decide what is most agreeable to the other if tensions arise. Try to accommodate the other's need. And let the other one know that you appreciate their need to be their own person, or individual. In showing respect for that, you demonstrate a real caring for them as a person in their own right.
As a prime example today, again, our own extremely hard pressed President who finds his way clear to fit us into his busy schedule every day is impressive. So no matter how busy you are, you can and must take some time out of your busy day to pay attention, listen, share, and to be available, heart-to-heart, with that special someone. Real love makes time for meaningful communications. These make all of life more vital and meaningful every day. When mixed in with a true spirit of congeniality, cordiality, and courtesy, and wherever needed a heartfelt apology to an offended one, you have a great recipe for much joy and happiness together.
You can save your relationship and help it thrive by demonstrating such a respect to the one you care about the most. You have to translate your love into respect that the other can see, and this, in turn, can translate into similar responses on their own part. When you can love, then you should be able to give. And time set aside for communication is a very good thing to give.
So, make very sure that the door for both of you is kept open for the other every day, no matter what! It is the basic building block for a sure foundation upon which to build the future. In this you will come to a much greater appreciation in such "a sweet reasonableness" that will bring you onward together through life's vicissitudes. In this you will find close friendship with one another, while still allowing space for the other's individuality. It offers the most positive and workable approach to helping your relationship grow as you will begin to recognize when you put it to wise use.
Give your mate quality time to spend in sharing communications with you, and you will be drawn closer together in every area of your lives. You can notice improvements when you take special time for each other to just communicate, and in so doing, find greater enjoyment in each other's presence. For, as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, "Love gives itself; it is not bought."
Continue on your way here now to begin with a most helpful system
that will carry you through to a more successful outcome in your
relationship and bring you both much greater happiness. It can be found
here at http://significantvalues.blogspot.com
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